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by R.J. Carter Published: February 14, 2008
Jen, of course, has her secret boyfriend, Ryan, in the game, with whom she was not paired. Naturally, she's going to ensure he remains safe. Meanwhile, Adam -- half of the partnership from hell with Sheila -- is telling the group that he runs a hair salon for kids with special needs. "Retards," in his words. Sheila is aghast that he'd use such a word, and she's quick to tell the rest of the group what he's done. Tattletale! Then she confronts Adam. Adam's view: "They're retarded!" Ergo, they're "retards." It's unlikely that Adam is going to be winning any political correctness awards in the near future. Over in another corner of the house, Allison is eager to explore the potential soulmate connection with her partner, Ryan, totally unaware of Ryan's real-life romance. She claims she's starting to develop real feelings for her man, as Jen looks on. When the flirting's over, Jen sneaks Ryan aside for a private tete-a-tete, complete with stolen kisses before they have to bed down with their assigned partners. One wonders how much drama would break out if they were to get caught snogging... At least one of the pre-arranged partnerships seems to be getting off the ground, as Amanda and Alex are big into hugging each other. In the Diary Room, Amanda admits that she's very open to the idea of Alex being her soulmate. LIES AND CONSEQUENCES Outside, Jacob -- Bible-thumping, crucifix-wearing Jacob -- is talking with the guys. And what does the guy talk consist of? It's all about one-half of the current Power Couple, Parker. He tries to ally them against Parker, calling the papparazzo "a snake" and "heartless." And that's when Jen -- the other half of the Power Couple -- walks in on things. Ryan, who is part of the conversation, is smart enough to know that Jacob's an idiot -- and he knows Jen well enough to know that anything Jacob says to her is going to go right back to Parker. And it does. Oh, it's on, baby. It's awwwwwwnnn!!! Parker immediately takes the fight to Jacob, and Jacob starts backpedalling, claiming he was only repeating what "everyone else" in the house was saying. But Parker calls him on it, and wakes up everyone in the house to a full-on family meeting. You go, Parker! "We're going to see who's lying," Parker says. In front of everyone, he asks who Jacob overheard calling him a snake. Everyone there, including Jacob's partner, Sharon, implore Jake to tell who it was he overheard. But Jacob -- no, he has honor, by gum! He's not going to rat out a confidence. Sure, he'll drop the bombs, but he won't tell anyone who manufactured them -- because, of course, he's the creator of his own lie, and doesn't have the huevos to man up and say, "Yeah, you know, it was a strategy, and it was a bad one, and it blew up on me. My bad." But the thing is, he doesn't have to say it, because everybody knows it. That night, Jacob's partner, Sharon, confronts him in bed about his little plot and not giving her a heads up on what he was doing. Now would be a good time to point out that Jake and Sharon were also a couple outside the house, for several years, until Sharon caught Jake cheating on her. Big surprise, he kept secrets from her again. I can't imagine what he was thinking -- this isn't the HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD he went after, this was the POWER COUPLE, who will be evicting a team tonight by executive order! Sharon has her work cut out to get the target off of Jacob -- because if Jacob is evicted, he takes her with him. To Parker, Sharon says that it was one of the boys that Jacob was parroting the other day. She won't verbally say who it was, but when Parker starts listing off names, she silently nods in the direction of... Ryan, the partner of Parker's partner. Is anyone else starting to feel like they can't keep their eye on the red queen in a game of three-card shuffle? So now it's Parker's turn to go to Jen with information. Now, Jen can't let Parker go on believing that Ryan said the things that were actually Jacob's words... so she spills the beans about her relationship with Ryan! Well, just throw that house secret out the freaking window, and the extra money that goes with it. Parker tells her, "Don't worry about it. You're still my ace." She declares to Parker that she's still in this to win the game -- and if she wins, Parker wins. Do they even have a shot? "We have it in the bag," says Jen. Naturally, Jen now has to tell Ryan that she has told Parker, and he can't believe that she gave up the secret so quickly into the game. But will Ryan tell his partner, Allison? Of course he will! It wouldn't be fair to her, he thinks, to keep her out of this if Parker is in it. Allison, however, isn't as cool with the revelation as Parker was. She's absolutely floored and shellshocked. She was really wanting to develop feelings for Ryan. Now she's wondering if everything she tells him will go straight back to Jen. Rather than realize they have the first secret alliance of four, Allison instead begins to wonder if Ryan wouldn't be better off without Jen -- someone "less jealous, catty, and needing to be the center of attention," as Allison puts it. Gee, Allie, who did you have in mind that doesn't fit that description? As for it being an alliance, guess how strong the trust is between this gang of four. If you picked "nonexistent," you picked right.
The Power Couple, Jen and Parker, discuss for all of about two minutes who should be evicted. Last episode, the smart money would have been on whiney Sheila and her mismatched partner Adam. But anyone with one eye open can see this freight train barrelling down the tracks. It's Jacob and Sharon who will be leaving, and Jen makes it clear that none of this is Sharon's fault. For my part, I can't think of a single player in Big Brother history who made a bigger boneheaded move than did Jacob. Except maybe for the guy who got kicked off for wielding a knife and throwing chairs. Jen is absolutely in tears over the decision, bemoaning, "Why did she have to be with him?" Sheila realizes that Jen and Parker just did her team a huge favor, and wild-eyed Adam is ecstatic that he's staying in the house. HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD: AGENT AMERICA RETURNS Since Jen and Parker are not technically the HoH, they will get to participate in this competition. But who to host? Welcome back Agent AmEricA -- Eric -- and his showmance-turned-romance Jessica from Big Brother 8! Good to see they're still holding hands and smiling, and the confirm to all that they are "still together." The competition gets underway, and I have to wonder if they ran this past Bob Eubanks before they aired it, because this is a flat-out swipe of The Newlywed Game -- questions designed to determine how well the players know their soulmates. First up, the guys (with apologies to the team of gay couple Neil and Joshuah) take the hotseats while their partners run inside so they can't influence the answers. As they describe their partner as a road sign, describe what physical trait would turn them off the most, and describe their ultimate fantasy costume, their partners come out dressed in costumes that fit their own answers. I wonder if Ryan knew that Jen had a dominatrix inside her waiting to come out? But never mind that, get me some more screencaps of Natalie in that 'naughty nurse' costume. The partners switch, and then the girls have to answer questions while the guys play dress-up to physically show what body part they would change, what celebrity type describes their personality -- and, of course, the fantasy type person the girls would like to have show up on a lonely afternoon. Every single guy chose to be the 'pool boy,' and only Chelsia lost out in this round, claiming that she likes to eat so she'd have rather had the 'pizza boy' make a delivery. ("And here's the pepperoni...")
As we head toward the credits, we visit once again with Allison, who claims that she will not ally with hher partner Ryan. In fact, she's not even sure she wants to keep his secret. Will she tell the world? Will she try to tear Ryan and Jen apart? Things are definitely shaping up to make this the biggest soap opera season of Big Brother ever. Stay tuned, everyone -- I don't think we're anywhere near being past all the drama that this mix has to offer! Previous Recaps: February 12: Cold Hands, Warm Hearts |
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