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Release Date: July 29, 2008 Label: Steamhammer/SPV Related Sites: · Official Site Grade: A-

Alice Cooper used to scare the Hell out of me. I imagine that's high praise for the long-rocking grandmaster of spooky heavy metal. I missed at least one full year of The Muppet Show after his appearance. "School's Out" was fine, but seeing him in his ghoul shtick with Sweetums and all of the other big monster Muppets while performing "Welcome To My Nightmare" was too much! Lucky for me, I grew up and came to appreciate Alice's place in rock & roll history. I had the good fortune of seeing his act live a few years ago -- and the misfortune of catching him on a day where he opened for The Scorpions. They were taking turns opening and headlining a twin bill, and I remember thinking when Alice semi-rhetorically asked, "Does it ever get dark in this town?" that his act was much better suited for the main event. As the opening act, the sun was just barely sliding behind the horizon, and the theatre of the bizarre I came expecting to see lacked the punch it might have had under a black sky. But it wasn't all bad, my date and I were the only two people in the whole amphitheater who recognized the opening bars of "When Your A Jet," the classic West Side Story number that he incorporated into his act (the band was one gang, the roadies were the other -- shame it wasn't the Scorpions, if Alice had won he could have played longer).

1989's Trash and 1991's Hey Stoopid were in heavy rotation in my cassette deck as I approached my college years. "Might As Well Be On Mars" is still one of my favorite songs. But in 1994's Alice crossed over into the domain of my other passion: comic books. His collaboration with Marvel resulted in two excellent offerings, the comic The Last Temptation of Alice Cooper and the outstanding CD The Last Temptation, in my mind his best work since Welcome To My Nightmare. He followed that in 2000 with Brutal Planet which was also very solid. But I was a bit let down with Dragontown and somehow missed The Eyes of Alice Cooper (2003) and Dirty Diamonds (2005) altogether. So you can imagine how excited I was to hear Along Came A Spider, the latest conceptual Alice Cooper album.

Along Came A Spider does not disappoint. Alice's band features guitarists Keri Kelli and Jason Hook, Chuck Garric on the bass and long-time Cooper player and former KISS member Eric Singer on drums.

The Prologue that introduces the first track, "Know Where You Live," provides the setting -- the CD is essentially the diary of a murderous psychopath called "Spider," and it offers grizzly insights into the mind and crimes of this serial killer. A killer whom, if I gather correctly, actually eats his victims, or at least that what I got out of it. Maybe the dismemberment of the corpses was the equivalent of eating them to the twisted Spider -- either way, it's good horror. By the end of the CD the killer seems to second guess himself, wondering if he shouldn't let the 8th victim live. The spoken word Epilogue seems to confirm that Spider does indeed get his eighth victim, wrapping her body in silk and taking one her legs to form his own macabre spider totem. He also refers to "Steven" -- of Welcome To My Nightmare fame -- in his imprisoned ramble, but I admit I'm not sure if Spider is in Steven's head or if they're both just inmates. I don't think it matters; it's just great fun to listen to a master showman weave his disturbing tale.

Track highlights: "Vengeance Is Mine," is a great rocker in its own right, but a piece that would be marvelous for a professional wrestler's entrance theme. In fact, I've already ripped it to my Xbox 360's hard drive in anticipation of the next WWE game. Jeff "The Nightmare" Ritter will be marching to the ring to "Vengeance Is Mine," and Triple H and John Cena had better get ready.

"Wake The Dead" features some great lyrical imagery along with a surprisingly poppy, sing-song style that, upon reflection, is where the album's creepiness really kicks in. It's as if Spider doesn't have a care in the world. He's going to murder indiscriminately, eats a taco, and fall asleep watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond. If I watched that show very often, I'd probably kill indiscriminately too.

"Catch Me If You Can" isn't the best track and certainly not the worst, but does a great job of furthering the plot in Alice's one-maniac show. If you've ever seen Showtime's Dexter series, you'll see Spider taunting the law to come and get him, much the way the "Ice Truck Killer" did in Season 1.

"Killed By Love" is the first ballad on the disc, and I couldn't help but hear a hint of John Lennon in Alice's mournful delivery. Alice Cooper is a huge Beatles fan, and I have no problem whatsoever with Alice invoking a little of the melancholy John was so capable of. The rock stations will probably hate it, and the adult contemporary stations won't understand it, but it's really a lovely piece. I guess people would think Alice Cooper would be a colossal wuss if he ever put out a whole album of ballads, but that's a shame as he's damn good at it. Even headbanging rockers enjoy their ballads.

"I Am The Spider/Epilogue" sums everything up and put Spider to rest, more or less. It's a very solid rock tune, with a great chorus. The spoken word "Prologue" and "Epilogue" serve their purposes well, and remind me of the days when Vincent Price could make my blood run cold with just one syllable, even if he was speaking on Hollywood Squares.

Fans of Alice Cooper who have been waiting for the return of the concept album by the master of the genre will not be disappointed. As good as most of the parts are, it's as a whole that Along Came A Spider really shines. Concept albums are a lost art, and that may be for the best because a bad concept album is often excruciating. Alice Cooper engaged me from the time I pressed play, taking me on an audio adventure that is completely immersive. I haven't had this much fun since The Last Temptation.