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Let's rehash the Dancing with the Stars Leaderboard which has Brooke and Derek on top with a 23, and Jeffrey and Edyta on the bottom with a 12. Is it time for the Roast Master to depart? Perhaps. Compared with most of the other celebs, we don't foresee him having that large a fan base.

Oh look, there's former winners Kristy Yamaguchi and Helio Castroneves, and Marissa Jaret Winokur. It would seem that the losers will have to wait until the end to find who is eliminated as the safe go first.

Safe: Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer

The couple are doing the quickstep to "Close to Me." and it is a somewhat better performance than last night's. Len didn't like his posture and hold, Bruno calls them a fresh take, and Carrie Ann was entertained, but not impressed. Backstage, Sam asks them how relieved they are not to be leaving, thereby wasting 30 seconds of time and space.

Score: 7 + 6 + 8 = 21

Safe: Misty May-Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

It's mambo time for Misty and Maks. He calls her awkwardly sexy during rehearsal, but as they dance to "Black Mambo" she is managing to move it and is looser than her previous performance, although she still has yet to make the full transition to girly-girl. Carrie Ann dug her attack, Len finds her brave, and Bruno says she has the power and attack of a task force.

Judges Scores: 7 + 7 + 7 = 21

Safe: Maurice Greene and Cheryl Burke

Cheryl thinks Maurice has been clubbing it as he seems to have some rhythm, but Cheryl is a tough judge. They mambo to "I Do the Jerk" and he is moving it, including his backside. Bruno calls them dynamic, Carrie Ann liked the transitions, and Len disliked the "Free Willy" step.

Judges Scores: 7 + 7 + 7 = 21

Safe: Brooke Burke and Derek Hough

Derek has Brooke use her new baby as a dance tool. We don't get it, but hey, if it works... They quickstep to "Lover, Come Back to Me," and whatever they did it seemed to help. Len again calls it the best dance so far, Bruno calls it pre-Hollywood, and Carrie Ann says it was fantastic.

Judges Scores: 9 + 8 + 9 = 26

Safe: Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas

We are so excited that Cloris has made it this far, but must now shake it to the mambo. They perform to "Coconut Woman" and although we are not exactly sure we would call it dancing, it is nonetheless the best part of the evening and ranks another standing ovation. Carrie Ann says she can shimmy and "crotchy grabby," Len thought Corky did a good job, and Bruno says he has never seen a mambo like that. Cloris rambles on until they drag her away. We love ya, Clor.

Judges Scores: 6 + 5 + 5 = 16

Safe: Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo

Toni is nervous about the quickstep and Alec is concerned about her breathing. Dancing to "Blue Skies," we try to see if she is exhaling so that she doesn't pull a Marie Osmond at the end of the number. Very nice job, and we bet her heart liked the exercise. Bruno compares her with champagne, Carrie Ann says she is natural, and Len mentions she has a lightness of foot. Backstage, we wish Sam would stop asking how relieved the couples are not to have been eliminated, if only because the ones in question can hear everything she says.

Judges Scores: 8 + 7 + 8 = 23

Safe: Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson

Warren is also concerned about quickstepping, but as he and Kym perform to "Ding Dong Daddy of the D-Car Line," we are again impressed at how light on his feet he is. And it never hurts to hang with the judges during a routine. Len didn't like his technique, Bruno calls it a ton of fun, and Carrie Ann is amazed that he can move that well.

Judges Scores: 7 + 7 + 8 = 22

Shameless Network Plug: David Blaine's special, after tomorrow night's Dance.

Safe: Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer

Inna wants to tear down the macho in Ted a bit, but we think you can be manly with the mambo. He is doing pretty well until he flips his leg for some reason and then proceeds to the "ruffling butt routine" that occurs at least once a season. Carrie Ann says he is awkward and should ease up, Len likes his hard work, and Bruno claims he grabbed his mambo with both hands. Uh-huh.

Judges Scores: 6 + 6 + 7 = 19

Safe: Cody Linley and Julianne Hough

Julianne calls Cody "loosey goosey" because of his age and tries to get him to focus. They quickstep to "I Want You to Want Me" and I swear they are out of sync, but then I just don't get the quickstep. Bruno calls them King and Queen of the prom,  Carrie Ann says they did it right, and Len thought he seemed mature enough. We notice he says "awesome" a couple of times backstage.

Judges Scores: 8 + 7 + 8 = 23

Safe: Rocco Dispirito and Karina Smirnoff

Rocco wants to bring out the "big guns," but admits he can't do the hip action. He may not have all the hip action, but he is as sexy as they come and wins our Woof! award. Who is that woman in the audience, his mom? Len says he is much better, Bruno calls him the Italian Stallion, and Carrie Ann agrees with me about his woofiness. Somehow Sam manages to combine Karina's injury with her being proud of Rocco.

Judges Scores: 7 + 7 + 7 = 21

Safe: Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani

Tony is such an ego booster! Very kewl. The couple quicksteps to "Bei Mir Bist Du Schon" and Susan is much better tonight and looks like she is not as nervous. Carrie Ann agrees with me, Len thinks that she has improved bunches, and Bruno call her glamorous. Sam asks Susan if she thought she was going home and Tony comments that the wait was hideous.

Judges Scores: 7 + 7 + 8 = 22

Eliminated: Jeffrey Ross and Edyta Sliwinska

Safe: Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas

Kim complains that she needs "booty 101" and Mark tries to bring her out of her shell. Apparently she gets it, but he blows it with that the second "ruffling butt routine" when they mambo to "Baby Got Back." Bruno and Len say she has to sell it more while Carrie Ann sticks up for her and mentions that she had to do heels for 2 hours.

Judges Scores: 6 + 6 + 6 = 18
 
Again, Brooke and Derek top the Leaderboard with a whopping 26, while Cloris and Corky are on the bottom with 16. Tomorrow night, another elimination, tunes from the Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney, and giggles from the audience. Jeffrey and Karina have their last dance to "Never Can Say Goodbye" as we fade to glitter...

Best Samanthaism: (referring to Toni)
"If you want her to keep breathing into these dances..."
Silliest Overall Comment: (Maurice, after hearing his score)
“We're a winner, chicken dinner."
Most Embarrassing Comment: (Corky, referring to Cloris)
"She is my best piece of work."
Best Adult-Rated Comment: (Len, referring to Cloris)
"Last night I got a good look at your coconuts."
Best Overall Comment: (Cloris, referring to the dance)
"I understand that I am older than the mambo. That's a strike to my heart."
Previous Episode Recap:

Week 1 - Premiere