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ARTICLE
Writer's Block: 2009 CMA Awards, or A Taylor-made Night for Swift Domination
by Paul Schultz
Published: November 12, 2009

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Related Sites:
· CMA Awards
· Country Music Association


The Country Music Association hosted the 43rd annual CMA Awards show on Veterans Day in Nashville, and there were plenty of well-deserved kudos for our men and women in uniform sprinkled throughout the night. The Trades was an attentive viewer, and we're here to give you the rundown on country music's big night.

The program gets off to a somewhat goofy start, with Taylor Swift being interviewed in a pre-recorded segment. It all becomes clear when she comes on stage to open the show with the interview scene being replicated. After a kind of breathless performance of "Forever and Always" she tosses the chair from its pedestal and descends the firemen's (not just for strippers anymore!) pole to floor level.

Album of the Year - Taylor Swift, "Fearless"
Album of the Year: Taylor Swift's
Fearless, conveniently available in
a new "Platinum Edition"
In no way shape or form is this country music, as the blonde beauty writhes on the floor, and that's just a precursor to later songs showcasing where the state of country music is at in its currently pop-oriented form.

Hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood lay on the humor right away, with some hilarious reworkings of country classics, "just as timeless as when they were written... this morning," offers Paisley. "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Kanye" gives way to Tammy Wynette's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" focusing on the imminent breakup of Brooks & Dunn. "Everyone's sad about that... except for Sugarland," say Paisley, a joke that will get funnier before this night is over.

"Like George Strait Plus 8," intones Paisley, "we're like a slightly dysfunctional family!" Brad and Carrie compare their respective "McGraw" and "Faith Hill" fragrances.

Kid Rock (he's country because...?) introduces Single of the Year - "I Run to You" by Lady Antebellum, produced by Victoria Shaw and Paul Worley. No on-screen graphics spelling out the name of the nominees, which is rather annoying if you're not paying close enough attention.

Am I hot or not? Carrie asks Brad to touch her and -- after checking with the wife in the audience -- happily, but not too happily obliges. She wants to make sure she doesn't have the "Swine Fluuuuuuu" (sung to LeAnn Rimes' "Blue").

Darius Rucker rips off an audience-inclusive "Alright", prancing through the crowd high-fiving everyone in sight. The best part is he kind of ignores the celebrity part of the theater.  It's not even the best song off his album (see "Don't Think I Don't Think About It" and "It Won't Be Like This For Long") but it brings up the energy in the room.

An auburn-tinged Kellie Pickler and Jake Owen intro Song of the Year - "In Color" by Jamey Johnson, who cryptically comments that "I didn't think y'all would let me come to things like this."  Maybe you're being too country -- in a roughneck sort of way, but as long as you sell, you'll be welcome here.

Diminutive Miranda Lambert sings "White Liar" big and you feel country music coming back to its roots... until you take a gander at her bass guitar playing guy in the band with his razor-sharp mohawk!

A host get a chance to perform, and Brad Paisley sings "Welcome to the Future" with a backdrop helpfully showing lyrics or images (from the music video?) including the text of Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' speech. You couldn't hear Brad's guitar solo, and sound problems plagued several artists this evening, but this was the most egregious.

Zac Brown Band performs a fiery cover of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and its not really believable considering Zac doesn't play fiddle. But before the song is over, he displays some fast fretwork that lends an interesting twist to the tale.  "You son of a bitch," Zac chooses to sing the original lyric, "I'm the best that's ever been." All I can say is virtuoso Joshua Bell would never play this song with his $4 million Stradivarius, not unless he doesn't want his prized violin to last another 300 years.


George Strait not only brought authentic country back to the music at
the 43rd Annual CMA Awards, but so did the "beer hunting" backdrop.
[photos credit: Rick Diamond/Getty Images]
George Strait puts the "Twang" back into the show, and my dear old grayin' dad comments, "Now that's what country sounds like."

Lady Antebellum performs their freaking awesome "Need You Now" with a great "snow globe" visual.  Best of all, they beat out Rascal Flatts for Group of the Year... Yessssssssssssss!

Carrie Underwear performs "Cowboy Casanova", another not-country-sounding song with black lingerie/cocktail waitress/burlesque clad dancers. I'm certain I've had nocturnal fantasies that looked just like this, ironically also including the blonde American Idol winner. My dear old grayin' dad is not impressed: "Well, that song's not going to win anything."

Twenty-Five years ago the Judds got their first award as Best New Artist, and we take a peek at that moment -- look at their big hair! This year it goes to not-exactly-new Darius Rucker, who gives a heartfelt thanks "to the fans... thank you all for accepting me."

Daughtry and Vince Gill perform "Tennessee Line" from the American Idol non-winner's recent album. Chris cuts off lines just like he did when I saw him in concert earlier this month, so when Vince sings harmony he holds the notes longer and ends up by himself.  Still, their voices blended well together.

Carrie compliments Brad on his video for "Welcome to the Future," and in the midst of his thanks 88-year-old Little Jimmy Dickens interrupts him to say Taylor Swift made the best video of all time. O. M. G. When do the Emmy nominations come out?

Keith Urban performs "'Til Summer Comes Around" and its subdued compared to his usual guitar slinging performances. The guy is good, no matter how he sings.

Tim McGraw performs the title track from "Southern Voice" which drops almost as many names as "We Didn't Start the Fire." His performance is weirdly spaced-out, like he's thinking, "Oh shit, I have to remember all these names!" HELLO, ANYBODY HOME!?!?!

Sugarland gives another quiet then powerful rendering of  "Keep You" all while threatening to be overtaken by a fog machine!  I like my view of Jennifer Nettles unobstructed, please!

Robin Roberts (WTF? Oh, yeah this is ABC, of course they're going to run out one of their own) and Randy Hauser pimp his video for “Boots On,” and its little star, Drake Dixon, takes time out from flirting with Kellie Pickler to give them a "thumps-up." Speaking of little kids, Taylor Swift jumps around like one when she wins Album of the Year for Fearless and explains, "This is my diary and I'm glad you like my diary." Isn't she cute as a bug's ear (whatever that means)?

An extended commercial break takes a look at the upcoming movie "The Blind Side" starring Tim McGraw (sans cowboy hat), based on the book of the same name.

Brooks & Dunn bid farewell with Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top on "Honky Tonk Stomp." Holy crap, Billy, your voice is shot.

Jamey Johnson and Kid Rock perform "Between Jennings And Jones" in what I guess is the 2009 version of outlaw country. Jamey's autographed acoustic is cool; Kid Rocks vocals are not.  Add to the cool is the alteration of the final line to include a mention of the CMA Awards.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Julianne Hough talk about a Camaro signed by 43 NASCAR drivers and autographed tonight by country stars to be auctioned off in support of the troops. Then they intro Vocal Duo of the Year, Sugarland. They wanted Brooks & Dunn to come up to say a few words, but Ronnie Dunn waves them off with a non-verbal "No thanks!" Awkward!

The commercial break is barely over and Taylor Swift launches into an acoustic "Fifteen" accompanied in sing-along style by the surrounding crowd of teenage girls. "LeAnn Rimes won her first CMA award at 15" (winner of Segue of the Night) and intros Male Vocalist of the Year Brad Paisley, who ambles from backstage to accept.

Jason Aldean performs "Big Green Tractor" but wearing loop earrings rather takes away from the effect.

I had to look up whether Roy Clark was dead -- otherwise, why isn't he here to be honored as an entrant into the Country Music Hall of Fame with fellow inductees Charlie McCoy (who plays harmonica on the ensuing tribute song) and Barbara Mandrell, who is lovely and eloquent in acceptance. Martina McBride sings Mandrell's hit "I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool" later joined by George Strait. With Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire in the house, I wonder why they didn't choose to do their rendition?

Reba instead does her "Consider Me Gone" in another effortlessly solid performance. Billy Currington was just as fine on "People Are Crazy" though that song is considerably goofier.

"I just got a hug from Kris Kristofferson. I'm good," intones Taylor Swift as he and Lee Ann Womack present her with Female Vocalist of the Year.  She thanks every person here for not running up on stage during her speech. That seemed a little rehearsed.

Kenny Chesney performs "I'm Alive" and the song is halfway over before Dave Matthews comes in to sing his verse. It seems like a wasted opportunity for this collaboration.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw intro Entertainer of the Year and is it any surprise that it's Taylor Swift? At least this saves us from a streaking Sean Daly. Chesney kisses her cheek in congratulations, as if he's giving up his throne. She calls up all her musicians and they have an endearing group hug at the end. Quit hugging Carrie and Brad, though, they have to end the show! Carrie: "How about us? We were great!" Awkward!