 |
| Home · Reviews · Interviews · Contests · Forums · Video Player |
  
|
by Jim Van Nest Published: February 14, 2003
As most of you may already know, tonight's episode was a 90 minute show, so with an extra half hours worth of stuff, I'd better get cracking or I'll have to quit writing to go to work! LET THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES BEGIN Well, it has been much hyped and much talked about, so let's get it right out of the way. The biggest change for this season's Survivor is that the tribes will be split down gender lines. That's right...it's girls vs. boys. The only surprise at the beginning of the show was that the survivors were not aware of the tribal breakdown until they were tossed into rowboats in the middle of the Rio Negro. Jeff told them when he called their name to get into one of the boats, as he was splitting them into tribes. So, he calls out 4 of the ladies right off, and when he calls the 5th lady, it was like 16 light bulbs all clicked on at once. Everyone started to get excited. The women in a definite "Thelma and Louise meets Fried Green Tomatoes" kinda way. The men in a "oh yeah, we're gonna kick their asses" kinda way. Meanwhile, Deena is telling us that she likes the tribal setups. She feels it puts her on a level playing field. Plus it will allow them to be more themselves. Then we hear Daniel telling us that there is no way the women will be able to beat the men...physically, mentally or otherwise. He tells us that the men will never go to Tribal Council. Of course, not content to look like an ass in front of America, he actually says the same thing in front of the ladies. Writer's aside: Which brings me to my first writer's aside of the new season. Daniel seems like an athletic guy. I would have to assume he's heard the phrase, "Don't give them any sound bites to pin-up in their locker-room." Think whatever you want, but you DON'T say it out loud. He's practically begging to have the women kick his ass. And sadly, he hurts his entire team with that stuff. What an arrogant jerk. For some reason, I feel the need to apologize for him. And, alas, this won't be the last time I'll feel that way during this episode. While all the women were upset by the remarks, only Jenna was heard saying something. So, both tribes get in their boats and Jeff tosses them their buffs (blue for the men, yellow for the women) and tells them that they will be called Tambaqui (fish) and Jabaru (bird), respectively. He also tosses them maps and tells them in what direction to begin the journey to their camps where their "meager" supplies will be awaiting them. (You'll see why I put quotes around meager a little later on. So, the guys untie their boat and get to rowing. Meanwhile, Shawna seems to be having some trouble getting her rope untied. In fact, the guys are well on their way (and apparently dividing up the women between them) before Shawna finally figures it out so the women can start their journey. A TALE OF 2 STRATEGIES So, as soon as the guys get to paddling, Roger starts barking out orders. He starts saying what they need to do once they get to camp. Meanwhile, all Ryan can think about is how the gender based tribes throws a huge kink into his strategy. As the women paddle, they're introducing themselves and saying what they do and where they're from. At the same time, Jenna is pretty bummed about the female tribe. As a swimsuit model, using her "assets" was definitely in her plans. Sucks to be her, because I don't think any of these women will care. Not surprisingly, given their head start, the men land first. And immediately go looking for their supplies so they can begin building shelter and a fire. Right in the middle of camp they find their "meager" supplies. Included in the "meager" supplies is 5 gals of fresh water, a pot, machetes, a hatchet, fishing line and hooks, 2 lanterns, kerosene for the lanterns and a flint. Writer's aside: What happened to the good ole days of Survivor when the tribes actually had to make fire by rubbing a couple sticks together? What happened to the good ole days of Survivor when they'd just get a huge mess of rice and be expected to make it last? What happened to the good ole days when they had to go search for their own water first thing? And the best, I remember when Survivors had to make their own fishing equipment. And here in the Amazon, they actually give the kerosene. Why not just give them a book of matches?!?!? Also in the supply bin is a locked box. A note accompanies it telling them they won't be able to open it until, when they least expect it, a key will materialize. I want to go on record with my idea right here...in this box are new buffs to be worn when these tribes either merge, or trade members later on down the road. Later in the day, the women finally make it to their camp and right after they land, Christy calls the whole tribe together to let them in on a secret. She's deaf. She has a hearing aid in one ear and can hear some sounds. She mainly reads lips. She just felt that this was something she should share right off the bat. So, with this new info, the entire tribe introduces themselves again, so she knows their names now. Many of the women express concerns over what could turn out to be a rough time communicating with her. What concerns me is the fact that it's the first day and this girl already has hairier pits than me. Ewwwwww! UH OH, ARE LEADERS EMERGING? Back at the Tambaqui Tribe, Butch and Roger seem to be taking charge. However, Butch is trying real hard not to be the leader of the tribe. It just seems that he has the best ideas, hence, he's always the one talking. The discussion is about where to build the shelter and Butch has several ideas. Build on the highest ground available. Preferably on a slope, so water will drain. You know, the usual stuff. For what it's worth, Rob really likes Butch. Finally, they decide to split off into groups of two, each group with a specific duty. One group is getting logs for the base of the shelter. One group working on the fire. One group getting palm leaves to make things more comfortable and so on. What's pretty impressive is seeing how well the tribe is working together with very little friction compared to every other season. I mean, there's a little trouble between the younger guys (Ryan and Daniel) and Roger, but nothing that stops them from setting and reaching goals. Writer's aside: I couldn't help but wonder, as I watched them chopping down little trees and pulling palms down and basically just destroying the area around them...isn't the rainforest a protected area? I mean, I'm sure they would need permission to do all this to it. I guess they got that permission and everything's legal and all. I just find it odd that we can't touch the rainforest for any of the natural resources therein, but for a TV show...what the hell? Rip the place apart for all we care. Also, after using kerosene and a flint, they men got their fire started after about, oh...5 whole minutes of trying. We join the Jaburu tribe trying to build a fire. They're not quite having the luck the men had. I'm not sure if it's because they weren't using the kerosene, or if they didn't use enough of it. But considering what they've been given, I can't imagine the fire talking anymore the 1520 minutes to have built up into a large blaze. While failing to light a fire, Deena decides to call a team meeting. Needless to say, that didn't go over too well, but the tribe made the best of it by deciding to split into 2 groups. One to gather materials for a shelter, the other to get the fire going. When we get back to the guys, they now have their "bed" or floor made. Once covered with palms, it actually looks pretty comfy. Butch decided to pull out his luxury item, a banner he brought from his school. The banner reads, "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF." Dave really likes it and the rest of the tribe seems into it as well. Butch is fitting in amazingly well with both the older guys and the younger guys. Once the banner is hung, the conversation turns to the women and how there's no ay they can be as far along with their "chores" as the guys are. And with that, we head back to check in on the ladies. And it's not good. It's now dark outside and finally after 5-6 hours of trying, they have their fire going. And the entire time half the tribe was getting the fire going, the other half managed to cut down 4 logs. That's right. 1-2-3 4 logs! Once they were sure the fire was going well, they all started to relax a little and start talking. And of course, they started talking about the guys. About how they were all just staring at Heidi for the entire boat ride, etc. It's at this point that we really start to see the disadvantage Christy is going to have in this game. She can't hear what everyone's saying and it's dark out, so she can't see to read anyone's lips. She's kinda bummed that it's an all girl tribe, because they talk more, which means she's excluded from more. She's getting very upset at this and finally just crashes. TARANTULAS, HOME AND GARDEN, THE MAGIC 8-BALL AND BOILED UNDERWEAR When the women wake up they find that they are not alone. Right on top of their supplies is a huge tarantula. They all know that it's likely that it and his friends were creeping all over them as they slept. They had to sleep on the ground (no shelter and all) which is a no-no considering all of the "wildlife" in the Amazon. They all take turns describing how creepy the whole night was. And in a quick subject change, Heidi discusses how she's having a hard time bonding with Christy. She knows that it's because of the inability to communicate easily. However, in this situation, the communication doesn't look like it will improve any. When we check in with the guys on the new day, they're now building a roof and walls for their shelter. Roger is still barking orders. Ryan and Daniel are still being useless. And Rob is telling us how he's just going with the flow. Doing whatever he's asked to do. Upon completion of the shelter, Alex jokes that it's so beautiful that Home and Garden should be out anytime for the photo shoot. And now it's Rob's turn to slam the women and discuss how there's no way they can be doing as well as the guys. In fact, he jokes that they've likely only got like 3 sticks for their shelter. When we get back to Jaburu, Jeanne is telling us how embarrassed she is that they haven't made more progress on the shelter. However, more pressing issues have presented themselves, and Jenna is quick o remedy the situation. Apparently, in just 24 hours, they've gotten so dirty and smelly that they need to wash their buffs and their underwear. And in what I would consider the biggest "DUH" of the show...she actually throws the dirty underwear into their cooking pot and boils the clothes. Writer's aside: Wonderful...like the food isn't bad enough there, now when I eat I have to be worrying about eating someone else's stank??? No frickin way, man. not since BB in the very first Survivor have I seen someone pull something so inconsiderate and stupid. Deena, Janet and Christy are talking about how stupid that all is, especially considering there are many other things WAY more important to accomplish. So, later that day, Janet, Jenna and Heidi go out fishing, with no luck, of course. It’s at this time that we find out that Janet is very sick. She's exhausted and weak and just not adjusting well. In fact, you can hear it when she talks, she has no desire left. She's ready to go. Back at the guys’ camp, Rob has now whipped out his luxury item. The mysterious Magic 8-Ball. It will be available for anyone who wants to ask it questions. As someone starts to ask it if they'll win the first immunity challenge, Rob lays down the law. The one and only rule of Magic 8-Ball is that you cannot ask it about winning challenges. So, then they spend the next several minutes asking it if they will hook up with the Jaburu of their choice (Shawna, Jenna or Heidi.) While the guys are thinking about hooking up with the girls, at least a couple girls have other hooks in mind. Jeanne and Joanna are out fishing now and aren't having much luck. While Joanna sings some gospel tune, they head out to the deeper water where all of their hard work pays off in the form of a 3 inch fish. I'm not sure why they didn't just cut it up and use it for bait for bigger fish, but they didn't. Instead they came back to camp and proceeded to cook their tiny fish and split him up amongst 8 people. Interesting thing here, that Jeanne is a smart cookie. When you see her luxury item is massage oil, you step back and wonder what that's all about. Until you hear that it is EDIBLE massage oil and then it hits...holy crap, she managed to smuggle in some cooking oil under the label of massage oil. Very impressive, indeed. TREE MAIL AND IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #1 Each team gets their first edition of Tree Mail today announcing the first immunity challenge. The words agility, balance and wit highlight the typically vague poem. As the tribes head out to the challenge site, Deena voices over that she thinks they'll win a couple challenges here and there, but she's really afraid the guys will dominate. So, when they meet up with Jeff, he starts with the guys asking them how things are going. Guys say that everything's going great, which for the most part, it is. He asks if they've caught any fish and Daniel is real quick to say that they've caught a lot of fish (even though they've caught none.) He then asks the girls the same question and they say things are going ok and that they've caught "some" fish. Of course, the guys don't believe that...I mean, they haven't caught a damn thing and the though of the women actually catching something I'm sure just blows their tiny little minds away. One interesting thing happened as Jeff handed the immunity idol around for everyone to check out. Joanna refused to touch it. She didn't say why, and it wasn't mentioned. But she flat out refused to touch it. The only thing I can think is that it's a religious/false idols thing. So, here's what the challenge is all about. It's an obstacle course of sorts. The challenge will start with all 8 people chained and locked together. They will need to navigate through what I believe Jeff called a "tough nut", basically a large wooden contraption that isn't unlike the base of the older wood roller coasters. Small hole, not easy to navigate. At the end of this, they will find a key. This key will unlock one lock turning them into two groups of four. The two groups of 4 will then navigate a cargo net. At the end of the net is a coded message. One group must decode the message to learn the location of the 2nd key. This key will split them into four groups of 2. Each pair must then walk across a round balance beam. If any part of you touches the ground, you go back to the start. Once all 8 people have crossed, 2 of them will work on second puzzle, this time a jigsaw puzzle. Once completed, one person will climb a ladder and find a key to unlock a flying fox. They will then ride the flying fox to the ground where they will find the final key. They will use that key to unlock the gate holding the rest of the team back. Once open, the team must sprint to the finish line. The first tribe with all 8 members across the finish line wins immunity. Whew! I'm tired from just explaining that! Survivors ready...? And the teams take off and keep pretty much even throughout the "tough nut." The men get a little bit of a jump on the women with the first key, and begin to build a lead as they quickly navigate the cargo nets. But, it's at the message decoder that the men really take control. They finish the message and find the key incredibly quickly and they move on to the balance beam. The women, meanwhile seem stumped. I counted at least 3 times that they erased their message and started again. At the beam, the pair of Roger and Alex crosses in no time, followed by Butch and Matthew. However, the final pair, Daniel and Ryan seem to be having some trouble and have to keep going back to the start. All the while, the women are still choking on the message. Dave and Rob finally make it across, and now are left to wait on the 2 guys who said the women could never beat the men in a challenge. (Ironic, no?) After Daniel and Ryan fall a second time and start over, the women FINALLY finish their message and make it to the beam. Jenna and Christy, Heidi and Jeanne make it across in the time it takes Daniel to fall for the 3rd time. And by the time the guys are on the beam after Daniel's 4th fall, the women are all across and on their way to the jigsaw puzzle. Finally, clinging to the beam for dear life, Daniel scoots his way to the end of the beam and the men can now join the ladies at the puzzle. Joanna and Jeanne had a healthy head start on Dave and Rob and finished their puzzle well ahead of the guys. Heidi then scoots up the ladder, unlocks the flying fox, swings to the ground. And the rest, as they say, is history. Lost of women jumping and hugging and cheering. Lots of men already not looking forward to seeing their buddies when they get home. DAVE LAYS DOWN THE LAW So the dejected fellas of the Tambaqui Tribe get back to camp in utter shock that they lost the very first challenge. Dave asks everyone for 30 seconds of their time because he wants to say something. He basically goes off on the entire tribe for the way they've acted. He said they lost because they were cocky and arrogant. He was really mad about the guys lying about catching all the fish. he said he has character and integrity and he is not going to lose it because these guys want to lie to make themselves look better. When Jeff asked them if they caught fish, he felt they should have said, "No, not yet." He doesn't like the lying and it shows a lot of arrogance and that's only gonna make the women want to beat them more. Daniel, in a confessional, says he thinks Dave is full of it. He doesn't care what they say, it seems. Rob, in a confessional, says that Dave is a stand-up guy. Very honest and a good guy. Which for Rob is great, cause he says he's gonna lie and cheat and do anything he can to win and Dave's honesty and integrity could prove useful. Writer's aside: I like Dave. Dave is a stand-up guy. Seeing him take the risk of slamming his tribe because of something he believes in was admirable. And as it turns out, Alex, Matthew, Butch and Roger agreed with him. Daniel, is a (well, this is a family column) jerk. He seems to think that all of a person's worth is in their biceps. He's cocky, he's arrogant and he's the reason the guy's are going to Tribal Council instead of the women. But amazingly enough, he's shown no remorse for messing up and still wants to slam Dave for his impassioned speech. Rob, I'm liking Rob. He has a great sense of humor, has been a hard worker, and seems to have a plan. He could go far, if he doesn't get caught in a lie, that is. NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHERE WE SCHEME FOR VOTES So, we start by seeing Ryan feeling like he's in trouble. He seems a little upset by the fact that Daniel fell off the beam 4 times and now his butt is on the stove. Roger is talking to Dave about dumping Ryan. Dave makes it clear he wants to boot Daniel. In confessional, Dave says that he and Ryan are from the same hometown, and that he won't vote for Ryan, but Daniel has to go. In the meantime, Ryan is rallying the troops looking for a vote for Roger. Daniel is in right away and surprisingly (to me anyway) Matthew is quick to join him. He then goes after Rob, who despite not liking Ryan and feeling he should go, agrees to go with the Roger vote. For Rob, either Roger or Ryan can go and I think he'll be happy. He doesn't like Ryan's mouth and attitude, but he doesn't like being ordered around by Roger either. And as fate would have it, Roger then approaches Rob about getting rid of Ryan. Rob tells Roger he's in with them as well. Writer's aside: Not a smart move for Rob. Sure, play the angle. Play both sides. But on the VERY first Tribal Council?? That's not smart. I mean, were well into Thailand before we realized that puppet-master Brian was playing everyone. I think showing his true colors and intent this early could prove costly for Rob. TRIBAL COUNCIL #1 So, we get to Tribal Council, and Jeff has them go through the ritual of lighting the torch. Fire represents life and all that. First thing Jeff asks is to Roger and he wants to know if the challenge was humbling. Roger says that is was and notes that where they lost the challenge wasn't on the mental side, but on the physical side. At which, Jeff interrupts to say that the girls kicked their ass on all sides. Writer's aside: Personally, I didn't agree with that. They lost it on the balance beam, period. They actually had the challenge won with the mental portion of decoding the message...and physically blew it on the beam. I just felt that needed to be said. Jeff then calls out Daniel for all his comments about the guys never losing a challenge. He said he was too cocky and that losing the challenge was entirely his fault. After some more macho guy rhetoric and clichés, Jeff asks the guys if any of the women stood out to them. Jeez, it's stuff like this that is specifically designed to make these guys look like the worst kind of chauvinistic, think with their zippers, jerks there are. Daniel goes on and on about how "hot" Shawna is. Dave and Alex chime in on Shawna as well. Rob gives props to Shawna but just raves about Heidi. Collectively, these guys sound and act like complete idiots. This isn't summer camp. This isn't a singles Rain Forest. UGH!! I can't tell you how embarrassed I am for my gender right now. So, after all the drooling over the women that just kicked their ass, it's finally time to vote. They show 4 votes to the camera. They show Matthew's vote for Roger saying he gives too much advice and it's really irritating. Ryan, not surprisingly, votes for Roger saying that he shouldn't hunt what he can't kill. (Um...ok.) They show Butch's vote for Ryan saying that he's a good boy. And just that, a boy. "Sometimes silence is golden." And the final vote they show is Dave voting for Daniel saying that he didn't like his attitude and how it affected the team. So, after Jeff tallies the votes, we find that Matthew, Ryan and Daniel vote for Roger. Butch, Rob, Roger and Alex cast their votes for Ryan. With Dave's lone vote for Daniel. And with that, Ryan becomes "least likely to be spoken to by the host of the Reunion Show." JIM'S PREDICTIONS All righty. I think I'll use this little section to either pat myself on the back or admit that I'm an idiot, depending on who gets the boot on each episode. Well, in this case, I'm a little bit of both. I figured Matthew to be the annoying one and he seems to be under the radar at present. I figured Roger to be next on the list to go and so far, I feel pretty confident with that one. Also, I'd like to quote my preview on Ryan. After seeing in his bio that he considers himself talkative, I write: Talkative is a trait that is almost as bad as intense. People that talk too much, without anything of substance to say, are often so annoying they must be either removed or killed. And since murder is illegal (even in The Amazon), I'd bet they vote him out. So I/m feeling pretty proud of that statement. However, the very next line was where I said I thought he'd make the merge. DOH!!! Oh well, there's always next week. QUOTE OF THE WEEK So, not only has Mark Burnett raised his game to make a better Survivor, it seems that our host, Jeff Probst has raised his game as well. I could find no way around giving him the premiere episode's Quote of the Week. It came during the challenge when Rob and Dave were struggling with the jigsaw puzzle. As Heidi climbed the ladder, Jeff looks at the guys and quips, "Come on guys, we got a rocket scientist and a computer guy stuck on a puzzle." Just one tiny bit of proof that Jeff Probst is the cream of the crop as far as Reality Show hosts go. Well, I must say that I'm feeling good about this season. I like the gender based tribes and I really like some of the personalities. Hopefully they can keep it up for the entire season. Well, since the column is damn near as long as the show, it's time for me to sign off. Be sure to come back on Monday for the first issue of the S-Ratings, our weekly prediction column here at The Trades. And, me? I'll be back same bat time, same bat channel with next week's Lost and Delirious. Until then, take care and God bless.
Survivor: The Amazon Recaps at The Trades: Preview | Ep 1 The S-Ratings at The Trades: Episode 2 | For all your Survivor News and Interesting Tidbits and to see what our guest contributor from last season, Jakey, is up to please check out these sites: Sirlinksalot's Survivor 6 Page | SurvivorNews.net | SurvivorFan.com | Jakey's Corner |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Copyright © 1997-2013 Burlee LLC. All rights reserved. | Reprints | Privacy Policy | Disclosure | About Us/Contact Us | RSS Feed |
