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by Jim Van Nest Published: March 14, 2003
POWER STRUGGLES HIT BOTH CAMPS We start at Jaburu by visiting Deena early in the morning while everyone else is still asleep. She is feeling pretty proud of herself for organizing the ouster of JoAnna. And quite frankly, she's feeling large and in charge. She also tells us that Jeanne is totally pissed off about the previous night's vote. At which point Jeanne tells us that she found it really dumb to vote of the strongest member of the tribe, while Shawna continues to be a major liability. Cue the whining. And it's now that we hear Shawna still whining about being at the lowest of the low points. And she tells us how she is feeling trapped out there since Deena and gang chose to keep her around. Deena says her problem is 70% mental and she'll be damned if they sacrifice their position in the game just to give Shawna the easy way out. She's just gonna have to hang out a little longer. Over at Tambaqui things are typically peaceful. Alex and Butch are out chopping some fallen trees in half (I assume for firewood.) Alex is telling us that things are so comfortable for their tribe that it's like they're walking around their own backyard. It's at this point that the Tambaqui power struggle begins and ends. Apparently, the tree didn't appreciate Alex chopping it in half, and when he finally breaks through, one end of it snaps back and cracks him in the forehead right above his right eye. Apparently these trees may end up in the fire, but they're not going down without a fight. He heads back to camp and they patch his head up. The men marvel at how cool his head looks with the patch on it and for some reason I see a whole lot of "accidents" in the guy's future. Cause as Alex said, "Chicks dig scars. So, you know, maybe it'll work out for the best." (Oh, Alex, if only you knew, my friend. If only you knew.) Back at Jaburu, we have a true power struggle unfolding as Jeanne decides to confront the tribe about a conversation she overheard the night before. She says she heard Deena say something like "your problem is you're not part of the team" and naturally assumes it's about her. Deena is real quick to point out that she was talking to Christy about Christy's first few days out there. Everyone else agrees that this was the truth. Jeanne takes this time to point out how she feels left out and alone on this tribe. And decides she's not going out looking for wood, etc. She's staying in and watching the fire. To this everyone pretty much says, "Um...ok." She's very paranoid and feeling very vulnerable. Everyone can tell, especially Deena. And now comes the tree mail. The tree mail consists of a map and a poem telling each tribe to send their youngest member (Dave and Jenna) for a night of wine and laughter. Rob is pissed off that Dave gets to go and he doesn't. While Jeanne suggests that perhaps by "youngest member" they really meant "oldest member." Something about being young at heart or some really lame attempted slam at Jenna. DAVE AND JENNA'S BIG "DATE" So, after paddling for what seemed like hours, Dave and Jenna finally reach their destination and are greeted by Jeff. He gives them some old Amazonian saying. Something about history belonging to the old, the city belonging to the adults and opportunity belonging to the young. Hence, the youngest ones were called upon to have what Jeff called a "get to know you session." They are provided with food, wine, a shower, robes, towels, slippers and a nice comfy bed. (Notice: I said bed, singular, not bedS, plural.) So, you're in the middle of the jungle playing a stressful game for $1,000,000, you haven't bathed in days, you haven't eaten, you haven't had anything to drink, no decent rest so naturally, the first thing you do would be...that's right...take off all your clothes and put on a robe. Frankly, I just think it was an excuse for Jenna to let Dave see her in her skivs and possibly win his favor. Anyway, once they were all comfy, Jenna started talking. And talking and talking. She talked until Dave knew every possible facet of life at Jaburu, including alliances, confrontations and who was going to be voted out next (Jeanne.) Then it was Dave's turn. He told her names, ages, occupations and gave her next to nothing to work with. He made no mention of tribal dynamics whatsoever, keeping everything a secret. So then the talk comes to what the guys talk about all the time, including Rob's obsession with Heidi's chest and the entire tribe's obsession with Jenna's "sexy ass." Needless to say, Jenna already knows she has a "sexy ass." She tried to play it off like, "Oh stop it." But what she really was saying was, "Like any of you Geeky McGeeks have a snowballs chance in hell of getting anywhere near this 'sexy ass'." So then they move on to the shower portion of their night. They both comment on the fact that you can see through the shower if you look real hard. In case Dave hadn't thought of it, as she gets in the shower, Jenna remarks, "Oh, you can see my boobs." For crying out loud, could she be a little more obvious? The really scary part is Dave's comment about being there and seeing her take a shower being the greatest thing that's ever happened to him. Dude, you need to get out of the house more. Either that or subscribe to Cinemax. So, the next morning, the kids awake to find another huge spread of food laid out for them and whadaya know, Jeff is in the house. He tells them that before they head back to camp, they have a job to do. And what, pray tell, is this job? Why, it's to pick new tribes, of course!! It's the old Tribal Split back from its one season hiatus. The way it will work is, each person will take turns picking someone for their tribe. Dave will start off picking a woman. Jenna, a man. All of a sudden, you see this look come over Jenna as if to say, "Oh my goodness...what did I do?" Guess she should have kept her mouth a little more shut. So Dave picks first and because of all the wonderful things Jenna had to say about her, chooses Heidi. Jenna then chooses Alex. When all is said and done, the tribes break down like this: Tambaqui: Dave, Heidi, Butch, Christy, Roger, Jeanne Jaburu: Jenna, Alex, Deena, Rob, Shawna, Matthew Now, there's only one thing left to do. Paddle back to camp and tell the others. DAVE AND JENNA BREAK THE NEWS We start with Dave and Tambaqui. He comes back to camp and tells the guy that he was in the middle of eating and toasting the guys when Jeff comes up with these nameplates and has them pick new tribes. He then tells them that Rob, Alex and Matthew will be going to Jaburu. He tells them that he had a plan when he was selecting people and that he felt this was the best way for them to go into the merge strong. Rob doesn't buy it and is very pissy about not staying. Writer's aside: And here's where the show starts to piss me off. First off, I don't like the new tribe splits at all. I think one tribe is really interesting while the other is completely boring, save Heidi. I do, however, think Dave broke his tribe up perfectly. There was starting to be 2 factions within Tambaqui. Dave/Butch/Roger and Alex/Rob (with Matt kinda hanging by himself.) He split the tribe up by natural alliances figuring that they'd be more likely to stay committed to each other hence giving the original Tambaqui tribe the advantage come merge time. Very nice, indeed. Now, on to Rob. I've been kinda pulling for Rob. Mainly because I'm hoping that with $1mil, he might actually move out of his mom's basement. Anyway, Rob got pissed off at Dave, like Dave owed him something. Hate to break it to ya buddy, but 3 of you were going. Period. Are you surprised that Dave would keep his buddies around? Also, getting pissed off cause Dave is the youngest and gets to go? Tough rocks, dude. Get over it. I know how Rob is feeling. He's feeling like everything is completely out of his control. But getting all pissy about it serves no purpose other than to get me to waste a Writer's Aside on him. We now join Jenna as she tells her tribe that she and Dave had to pick new tribes and Heidi, Christy and Jeanne...get moving. Jenna was very straight forward and offered no reason as to why some were staying and some were going. Just that she was really sorry that Heidi had to go. During all of this, Jeanne tells us that she feels like she has a new lease on life and Heidi is in shock. She and Jenna seem like they're going to be lost without each other. Writer's aside: Awwwww. Isn't that so touching? First off, why in the hell would you keep Shawna knowing what a liability she is to your tribe? I understand if she was the last one left and you got stuck with her...but Jenna actually chose her. Dave remembered Jenna saying that Shawna was about tapped out, that's why he didn't pick her. It never ceases to amaze me how much one person on each show will tell the other tribe unsolicited. At least Jenna did one smart thing...she made sure to lock up Deena as soon as possible. NEW TRIBES FEEL EACH OTHER OUT (NO, NOT "UP", ROB) And the women arrive at Tambaqui and are greeted by Butch, Roger and Dave all on their best behavior. The women are impressed with both the camp and the guys. Christy then drops the news that she's deaf and that she just needs people to look at her when they're speaking. Roger comments on how impressed he is with her. If she hadn't told him, he would have never known. In a much different entrance, Hurricane Alex finally touches down at Jaburu camp, and amazingly enough...no sooner did he come into view, but Shawna has the most amazing recovery from a near-death illness that I've ever seen. Deena remarks on the incredible healing powers of testosterone. Meanwhile, Rob says that he isn't ready to start thinking about aligning with the girls, though, if Shawna and Jenna were to walk around naked, he would refuse to vote for them until at least the merge. Writer's aside: Sadly, that would probably be enough to get Jenna to do it. But that's not what this aside is about. It's about Shawna. Ok, how many of you out there were feeling really bad for Shawna last week? How many of you were appalled that the alliance wouldn't vote her off? You can admit it. I know there were plenty of you. I bet you're all feeling a little different this week, aren't you? What a pathetic display she has put on over the last 2 weeks. To see her last week and at the beginning of this show, you'd have thought she was literally dying. She was just so miserable and the lowest of the lowest of the lowest of the low. What a crock of horse doody!! She's frickin lazy and is missing the comforts of home. No more, no less. If she was truly as sick as she pretended to be, Brad Pitt could've walked out of the Amazon and she would have had no interest. But, when Alex got there...she was just so happy and perky and friendly. What a shameful display she's put on for 2 weeks. Shameful! So we join the new Tambaqui tribe sitting around the campfire at night and Butch is making a super duper effort to be sure that the lanterns are being used so Christy can see to participate in the conversation. She is totally blown away by this. Especially considering the Jaburu's reaction to her being deaf. She can't believe how much different it is in the new camp. She's absolutely loving it. And over at Jaburu, it seems like we have a Love Connection, Chuck. Alex and Shawna are about to make me sick with all the googly eyes and girlish grins. With this possible alliance, Deena is beginning to doubt Shawna's loyalty to her original alliance. Deena is also bummed that before the switch, she was in charge of this tribe and in charge of the game. This new dynamic has knocked her off the top and seems to have knocked her down to the bottom. And with that comes tree mail... IMMUNITY CHALLENGE # 5 No sooner do the tribes merge then the challenges get more physical. This one is part mental, part physical. Each tribe will start this challenge by ftaking a list of 10 animals and finding 5 of them in a word search puzzle. Once they find all 5 words, they have to get in a boat and paddle around thier little island collecting the 5 flags of the animals found in the puzzle. First team back to shore with their flags wins. Survivors ready? Readers ready? So the challenge starts off and both tribes are neck and neck finding words, until Tambaqui finds "mosqito." Well, if you're paying attention, there's a missing 'u' in there. While they get to scrambling for the final word again...Jaburu has already found their 5 words and made their way out to paddle around the island. Tambaqui gets out there shortly thereafter and begins closing the gap. Bottom line, if there had been 2 maybe even 1 more flag, Tambaqui would have come back and won this challenge. But as it turns out, there wasn't and Jaburu wins immunity for this week. THINGS START TO GET INTERESTING So, we head back to Tambaqui wondering how people who just met each other 24 hours ago will decide whom to cast their vote against. We start with the women. All 3 of them head to the boat to go fishing and discuss their strategy. None of them have any idea who to vote for, but Heidi suggests that Dave, since he selected them all and is kind of the "team captain", if you will, should stay. No one has a problem with that. So, it's down to Roger and Butch. But how to decide. Christy comes up with the idea of making Jeanne Butch and Heidi Roger. Then she (Christy) hold 2 sticks of different lengths. The person to draw the short stick gets the vote. When all is said and done, the ladies use their scientific method to paint a bull’s-eye on Butch. Oddly enough, we never check in with the guys. The next scene we see is Dave taking Heidi aside. He tells her that Jeanne is getting the vote and that the guys want to scoop her up in their alliance and carry this foursome to the merge. In a rare turn, Heidi shows some foresight and asks him about what happens if they lose 2 more times. Dave tells her straight up that she'd be the odd person out, if that were to happen. But then she asks him what he would do in her shoes. He says that he'd go with the guys. Writer's aside: Um, Heidi? What the hell did you think he was gonna say? "Well, if I was you, I'd go back to the women and stick with my original alliance and force the tie at Tribal Council and take my 50/50 chance that the women will gain control of the tribe." Hell no he's not gonna say that. He's gonna say what's best for Dave. Not what's best for Heidi. Jesus, have these people never watched this show?!?! We're then treated to a confessional of Heidi telling us that she really doesn't like being in the middle here and is not fond of essentially being the swing vote. (And around the country, millions of people, in unison say, "Awwwwwwwww.") TRIBAL COUNCIL #5 This was about as boring of a Tribal Council as we've seen yet. Jeff starts by asking reaction to the big switch. Jeanne was excited and the men were gentlemen. Heidi was shocked but still has strong feelings toward Jenna and the Jaburu tribe. But, she's happy to be at Tambaqui too. Jeez, walk the fence much? He asks Christy how she's assimilated to the new tribe and she just gushes about how great the guys are and how they have treated her so much better than the women and they're really including her and she couldn't be happier. Then Jeff asks what the vote is based on tonight and Christy says it's all about alliances. Roger says it's about the weakest link. Yeah, Rog...keep telling yourself that. Like you have the slightest idea who the weakest link is. Jeanne says it's about the weakest link AND alliances. And the person that got the short straw. Oh, we'll just leave that part out. Then the big one. Jeff asks Heidi how she determined who to vote for. Ladies and gentlemen, let's watch her squirm. She had no idea what to say. You could almost feel the hate well up inside her toward Probst for having the nerve to ask HER that question. She'd danced around the question and eventually said something like she's not sure how she's voting. Do we really even need to see the votes? We know what Heidi's gonna do. And we also know the country will grow to hate her even more after this week. So, as everyone votes, we actually get to see 5 of the 6 writing the name. Goes right down gender line. Jeanne and Christy vote Butch. Dave, Roger and Butch vote Jeanne. We, of course, don't get to see Heidi's vote. Gotta milk that last tiny bit of faux-suspense out of the episode. And when Jeff reads the votes, whadaya know, Heidi cast her vote for "Gene." Writer's aside: For crying out loud Heidi. I want to defend ya. I want to stick up for ya. But you KEEP doing this. After 15 days, how can you NOT know how to spell her name? And after 15 days, how can you at least not know she's a woman? "Gene" is the male spelling of the name. I mean, you weren't even close. I could've forgiven "Jean." Or "Jeane." But "Gene?????" And I haven't even gotten into the fact that you sold out your tribe mates for a 6-day alliance. I mean, what's your plan? Do you even HAVE a plan? How in the world can you expect to break the bond that has formed between these 3 guys? With boobs? Sorry, Rob and Alex went to the OTHER tribe. You're in the loyal tribe, my dear. Why not force the tie and see what happens. At least then you wouldn't go out as a back-stabber. At the very worst, you could have left the game with some dignity and integrity. I hate to say it, but of all the Survivor writers out there, I may be the last one in your camp, darlin. But, I've got one foot out the door. And with that, Jeanne becomes the 5th victim of The Amazon. JIM'S PREDICTIONS Well, it was bound to happen, I just didn't think it would be this soon. I thought my pick of Jeanne to win it all would be safe for another couple weeks when the switch was made. But that was not meant to be. Which means my track record for picking the winner of this show stays right about the same. Let’s see, I picked John in Marquesas, he got the boot in Episode 8. I picked Jed in Thailand and he got the boot in Episode 3. And this season my winner gets tossed in Episode 5. *sigh* QUOTE OF THE WEEK This week's quote of the week is an easy one. There were some good quips throughout the show, but one really stood out to me. It was right after Jaburu opened their tree mail. When Jeanne made her comment about how they may not have meant the youngest one. Deena responds to her, "What, do you think we age differently, like cheese?" Funny stuff, indeed. And that'll do it for Week 5 of Survivor: The Amazon. The dynamic has certainly been changed. I just don't know if it will change the show for better or for worse yet. I guess next week will be the true test for me. Below, you'll see the Vote History chart updated with this week's votes. And with that, I'm outta here. Til next week, take care and God bless.
Survivor: The Amazon Recaps at The Trades: Preview | Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | The S-Ratings at The Trades: Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | For all your Survivor News and Interesting Tidbits and to see what our guest contributor from last season, Jakey, is up to please check out these sites: Sirlinksalot's Survivor 6 Page | SurvivorNews.net | SurvivorFan.com | Jakey's Corner |
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