 |
| Home · Reviews · Interviews · Contests · Forums · Video Player |
  
|
by Jim Van Nest Published: March 20, 2003
LOVE AND LUST ARE IN THE AIR Well, love certainly does seem to be in the air at Tambaqui. We join the tribe the evening after dumping Jeanne. And there's only one thing on Christy's mind...why me? She wants to know why they kept her and let Jeanne go. Roger explains to her that Jeanne brought several attributes with her to the new tribe, however, they were nothing the tribe didn't already have. But that Christy and Heidi brought enthusiasm to the tribe and that Jeanne was tossed not because she deserved to go, but because Christy deserved to stay. She was extremely pleased to hear this. Meanwhile, Dave was a little put off by Roger's comments. He was under the impression that they had just set a pecking order and were following it. All of a sudden, Roger is talking about Christy's worth to the tribe and I think it made Dave a tad nervous. So, the next morning at Camp Love, everyone wakes up and gets set to do the chores for the day and the guys all take off to go fishing leaving the girls behind. This gets Heidi a little concerned. She was so proud to be a part of this "team" and now it seems that they're really not part of the team. Writer's aside: Just to clear something up for Heidi from the male perspective...she is part of the team. So is Christy. The bottom line is that this tribe (Tambaqui) has been running like a well-oiled machine for several days now. The guys get up, assess what needs to be done and they do it. Nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't a sleight against the girls, it was just how it turned out. Is it me, or is she getting a little touchy? Over at Jaburu, it only took the guys 3 days to decide to brush their teeth (remember, the girls won all the hygiene products a few shows back.) Matt fills us in on how nasty his teeth were and how he's so glad to have them clean again. He also talks about how great the new tribe is shaping up to be. He really felt like his head was on the chopping block at Tambaqui and now it's like a fresh start and everyone is getting along so well. Rob has now finished brushing his teeth and asks if there's anyone that would like to make out with him. Shockingly, he gets no takers. Writer's aside: I'd just like to point out here that Rob is in more dire need of seeing a real live girl naked than any man on the planet. Deena is feeling much better now about her position in the tribe. The guys were like a breath of fresh air for the tribe. Speaking of "fresh", that brings us to Alex and Shawna. I'm beginning to think Survivor should replace Probst with Chuck Woolery. We could call it Love Connection: The Amazon. These 2 are all over each other. Alex tells us that there may be romance in the air and Shawna tells us she'd like to get to know Alex a little better. Meanwhile, Jenna tells us she feels kinda like the 3rd wheel with them. Writer's aside: Hey, Jenna...remember that feeling. If you don't wise up, that's exactly how you're gonna feel when Alex gets Shawna to turn on you and dump your jazzercised butt. REWARD CHALLENGE # 4 And we get one of our most physical challenges to date. It's a log roll challenge. This is a one on one challenge in which both participants stand on a log. This log is on an axle, so it turns. The challenge is simple...2 people get on the log, the last one standing on it wins a point for their team. First team to 5 points wins a lovely vegetable and spice basket to help spruce up the bland food. They will also get a nice fruit basket. So, since it has to be guys vs. guys and girls vs. girls, Jaburu has to sit out a girl to make the teams even and they choose Deena. And away we go... Round 1: Matt vs. Roger and Matt wins easily. Jaburu: 1 Tambaqui: 0 Round 2: Shawna vs. Heidi and Shawna wins easily. Jaburu: 2 Tambaqui: 0 Round 3: Dave vs. Alex and after several minutes of battling, Dave dumps Alex and gets Tambaqui on the board. Jaburu: 2 Tambaqui: 1 Round 4: Butch vs. Rob and Butch dispatched Rob in no time. Jaburu: 2 Tambaqui: 2 Round 5: Christy vs. Jenna and Christy dumps Jenna quickly. Tambaqui: 3 Jaburu: 2 Round 6: Alex vs. Roger and Alex redeems himself with a win. Tambaqui: 3 Jaburu: 3 Round 7: Shawna vs. Heidi and Shawna dumps Heidi a second time. Jaburu: 4 Tambaqui: 3 Round 8: Butch vs. Matt and the old-timer wins again. Jaburu: 4 Tambaqui: 4 Round 9: Christy vs. Jenna, with the game on the line, Christy comes through and dumps Jenna a second time. Jaburu: 5 Tambaqui: 4 And there is much rejoicing as Tambaqui is already planning some meals with their new vegetables and spices. BETWEEN HORMONES AND CHEESINESS, JIM GETS SICK Let's start with the hormones. So, suppose you're a Survivor tribe and you just got beat in a reward challenge that would have given you a bunch of fruit and vegetables among other stuff. When you get back to camp, how would you feel? I'd be sulking around and a little bit pissed off, I think. Not Jaburu! They decide now is a good time to take a community bath! Woo Hoo!!! So, they head to the watering hole and everyone (save Deena) takes turns petting and washing each other's backs. Very flirtatious and quite disgusting. Writer's aside: Y'all knew I'd have something to say here, didn't you? Is it me or are you beginning to get the feeling that these kids (and Matt) think this is some sort of dating show? Come on, you're competing for $1 million dollars here. And I'm quite sure that Rob would shoot his own mother for the chance to see one of the girls with their tops off. I mean, what the hell is going on here? This is the most disgusting display I think I've ever seen on this show. And that includes ALL of the gross food challenges. I just want to reach through my TV and strangle Alex, Shawna, Matt, Rob and Jenna. I guess I just had no idea how horny you could get when you're away from the opposite sex for all of 13 days!! UGH! Believe it or not, I can't find the words to describe how much these people annoy me. Especially the Alex-Shawna-Matt love triangle that seems to be forming. One of them needs to go and please let it be Shawna. Through all of this, Deena, just sits back and watches. She knows who's being played and who's not. She is assessing just what she needs to do to take advantage of this. Man, I'm beginning to dig her. Now we'll move on to the "cheese factor" over at Tambaqui. It's fun to see the reaction of the 2 tribes after a challenge. Jaburu said it wasn't important and immunity is all that matters. Tambaqui is raving on about how important it was to win the reward. Hee. Anyway, so as they're eating some fruit, Christy is just glowing over the fact that she got to dump Jenna in the drink, not once, but twice! Which leads Butch into a story about how he feels that over the course of his life, there are some events that are so powerful, he calls them defining moments in his life. He says he's had maybe 5 or 6 of them in his life. But to him, seeing Christy's smile when they told her why they kept her followed up by the glow she had when she got out of the water after sealing the victory over Jenna...to him, that is another defining moment. She knew her value and that despite her lack of hearing, she was an important contributing member to this tribe and for him that has been the best experience out there so far. SCHEMING AND LOVING AT JABURU Well, I'll give Rob this, when it comes time to get to business and play the game, he can push Jenna's boobs right to the back of his mind and seriously concentrate on the task at hand. We join Rob and Deena doing a little fishing and they begin to talk about what they can do together to continue on in the game. Deena tells him that she has Jenna and Heidi and if he didn't mind hanging out with the girls, he'd be a good fit for #4. Rob is then telling us that he had an alliance with Alex, but he can feel Alex losing his momentum and it's time to move on. He likes hooking up with Deena, because he feels no one would suspect those two of having an alliance. He then tells Deena that his plan all along has been to bide his time til the merge and then turn on the guys once the 2 tribes merged. He says Matt is really annoying and he'd love to see him go, but he realizes that Matt provides a lot of the food and is just too valuable at this juncture to get rid of. Next thing we see is Rob and Matt talking. Rob is suggesting to Matt that they stick together and pick off the girls until the merge...that way when the merge happens, they'll have stuck with the original male alliance hence regaining the trust of Dave, Roger and Butch. Then they can use Deena to start picking them off. Matt likes the idea and seems to be impressed with the way Rob's thinking. Then we here the confessional from Rob about how bad he's playing Matt and that Matt's too big of an idiot to even know it. However, Matt has a plan and that's to keep catching all the fish, and Rob even acknowledges that this makes him a threat. So, night falls on Jaburu and the conversation turns ridiculous. So ridiculous that I don't think it warrants a lot of recap from me. Suffice it say that the entire night is a huge eco-trip for Shawna as the 3 guys discuss the kinds of dates they'd take her on in real life. Writer's aside: I'll go on a limb and say that there has never been more attention paid to a white girl with an afro. For crying out loud guys, you wouldn't even look twice if you saw this girl on the street but in the jungle you're clamoring over her as if she were Vanna White in a toga. (C'mon...admit it. You watched that stupid Venus TV movie with Vanna in it...you got the joke, I know you did.) These weenies never cease to amaze me and what's worse, they've already made me spend more words on this topic than I wanted to. Damn them. Damn them all!!! The next morning we begin to have problems. Matt seems to be wedging himself in between Shawna and Alex. You know, like when Shawna's being lazy lying on Alex (who's being lazy), Matt decides to be lazy and lay on Shawna at the same time. For crying out loud, these 3 are making Jenna look useful and that's not an easy feat. We then switch to Deena who is still faux-amazed at Shawna's miraculous recovery. She's is watching Shawna and how she is totally playing Matt and Alex and in her mind, no matter which one she ends up with, the pair will be a threat to her. And with this we click over to tree mail. The tree mail suggests a "feeding frenzy." Hmmmm....gross food challenge, perhaps? IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #6 Before you get all excited, I was wrong. It's not the gross food challenge. However, that doesn't change the fact that the challenge is gross and does involve food. This week's challenge is based on the pack mentality of the local sea-predators, piranha. We've all seen footage of a piece of meat being dropped into piranha-infested waters only to watch the "feeding frenzy" as they pick the bones clean. So, they've set up a little Survivor Feeding Frenzy this week. Here's the deal: each tribe has a huge chuck of cooked beef on a hook. The members will have their hands tied behind their back and will have to tear meat off and put it in a basket. The team that has the most meat, by weight, in their basket after 10 minutes will win immunity. Jenna sits this one out for Jaburu and then they take their positions and begin to maul. While this challenge was fun to watch and one of my favorites in a while, it's hard to recap. So, I jotted down 5 highlights of the challenge to share with you. Highlight #1: Matt drops a piece of meat on the ground. Deena steps on it. But that doesn't stop Mateo, he just bends down and picks it back up and throws it in the basket. Highlight #2: Roger tries to drop a piece in the basket but finds it stuck in his teeth. With no hands to grab it, he needs help. Help comes in the form of Butch who turns his head sideways and takes it from Roger's mouth and puts it in the basket. Highlight #3: Matt and Rob "team up" to rib a HUGE slab of beef from the bone. This hunk gives Jaburu a temporary lead in the contest. Until... Highlight #4: Heidi gets a grip on a chuck of beef that is damn near as big as she is. By far the largest hunk of meat ripped off in one piece. This chunk goes a long way in... Highlight #5: ...securing the win for Tambaqui by a margin of "a little over 9 kgs" to Jaburu's "a little under 9 kgs. Writer's aside: I just want to make a couple quick observations from this challenge. The first is I'm fairly certain that this situation is the only time you'll ever see two 50-something straight men in a French kissing pose. The second thing is that you can say what you want about her. Her attitude, the whole "cute-girl" thing, the turning on Jeanne and the deathly skinny vibe she has going on. The one thing you CANNOT say about Heidi is that she doesn't "bring it" at every challenge. In my mind, she is the toughest competitor out there and regardless of anything else she does, you have to respect her for that. Does anyone think it was coincidence that Jenna, the swimsuit model, sat this one out? Do you think for a second Heidi would have done the same? Hell no. She would have been in there just like she was this time, and when push came to shove, she landed the chunk of meat that put Tambaqui over the top. I just see and hear a lot of Heidi-bashing, and I have taken part in it. I just wanted it to be said that when it comes to challenges, the young lady goes all out for her team. THE ODDEST PRE-TRIBAL COUNCIL DISCUSSION EVER So we go back to Jaburu for the weekly, pre-TC strategy-fest only to find a...meeting. The entire tribe is sitting around and Deena breaks the silence by saying that she neither wants to go nor does she think she should go. Shawna says something about wanting to stay true to the women and then Alex pipes up by saying that it seems like the vote will be coming down to he and Matt. And then he tells Matt that since that is the case, he is gonna have to throw his vote Matt's way. Shawna chimes in how her vote will be going to Matt because Alex helped her so much when she was down in the dumps. Writer's aside: Man, couldn't she just admit that she has the hots for Alex, hence he stays? Everyone there knows it. Everyone watching knows it. You'd be respected a lot more if you just said it. Jenna is torn on who to vote for. Shawna is part of her alliance, but seems to be losing interest in the girls. We then get a confessional from Rob about how he's been working Matt and finally has him where he wants him and now it seems he's the target of the vote this week. To the group, however, he simply says, "It sucks that the people that I want to go are all on the other tribe." TRIBAL COUNCIL #6 So we get to Tribal Council and Jeff makes the comment that the tribe looks down. He asks Shawna what's up. She says that the team is having such great chemistry and everyone is getting along so well, it's a real bummer that they have to vote someone off tonight. He puts one on a tee for Alex by asking if there's anyone he wished he'd met outside the game, and surprise, he says Shawna. Jeff then mentions that Deena is noticing the "chemistry" between Shawna and Alex and she confirms that there is definitely "sexual heat" there. But then she goes on to say that since the guys came over, the tribe has so much positive energy. Next question is for Matt and is about people filling roles on the team. He says that he relishes the role of being the provider of fish. He sounded eerily like Rich Hatch as he was saying that, by the way. Jeff then asks Rob what his role is and he says it's basically to keep people entertained and keep spirits up. When people start getting down or bored, their energy level will die, so he tries to keep everyone energized and happy. The next question was for Shawna...how you feeling? And she is just feeling awesome. She was at the lowest point in her life and then came Alex (can you hear the choir singing?) and she is just glowing now. Last question is for Deena and it's whether or not this is a hard vote. She says it's the hardest yet. Writer's aside: Just wanted to clarify that I did not intentionally leave Jenna out of the Tribal Council recap. That would have been Mr. Probst. Jenna never even spoke. And with that, we vote. We only see 2 votes this time. The first is Rob voting for Shawna. he says that she is the nicest person and that she genuinely puts what's good for others ahead of what's good for her. And as good as that is, it makes her a terrible Survivor player. The next vote is Alex voting for Matt. All he says is that Matt's a threat down the road. And I couldn't help but wonder...a threat to what? Alex winning the game? Or winning Shawna? Once the votes are tallied up we have Shawna and Alex voting for Matt, while the rest of the tribe did the smart thing and removed the temptress, Shawna. Man, I wonder if we'll see Alex at "the lowest point in my life, waaaaaaaahhhhhhh" next week. JIM'S PREDICTIONS Ok, just throw my predictions right the hell out the window, mmmkay. At present, 4 of my 9 merger members are gone out of 6 votes. That's just terrible. I had Matt and Deena going first in their respective tribes and now, I'm SO hoping that they are the final 2. I would be happy with either one of them winning the million at this point. Right now, I'll predict that I will suck at predicting the rest of the show. (This one is a no-brainer.) QUOTE OF THE WEEK While I really wanted to use Rob's comment about the people he wanted gone being on the other tribe, I decided to show my readers that I'm not a 100% cynic yet. I'm sitting in the mid 90s or so, but not 100% just yet. This week's QotW goes to Butch. The quote came when he was discussing how Christy had given him another "defining moment." He looked at her and said, "You don't have a disability. That's how I feel about it." It was very touching and Christy SO needed to hear something like that. Ok, I need to put Sensitive Jim away before he gets me in trouble. That'll do it for this week's Lost and Delirious. Stay tuned for next week's exciting episode where really skinny girls appear to take off their clothes to gain favors from really dorky boys. Until then, please take a few extra minutes out of the days ahead to say an extra prayer for the brave men and women who are in the Middle East. Until next week take care and God bless.
Survivor: The Amazon Recaps at The Trades: Preview | Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | Ep 6 | The S-Ratings at The Trades: Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | Ep 6 | For all your Survivor News and Interesting Tidbits and to see what our guest contributor from last season, Jakey, is up to please check out these sites: Sirlinksalot's Survivor 6 Page | SurvivorNews.net | SurvivorFan.com | Jakey's Corner |
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Copyright © 1997-2013 Burlee LLC. All rights reserved. | Reprints | Privacy Policy | Disclosure | About Us/Contact Us | RSS Feed |
