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In the most shocking head-to-head competition ever on Last Comic Standing, last week Dat Phan, the picked-on little brother of the Comic House, took out Dave Mordal, the Big Papa of the house. Still remaining in the competition were the following six finalists:

1. Cory Kahaney: A comedian from Manhattan, New Yawk.
2. Dat Phan: A Vietnamese comedian from Santee, CA.
3. Ralphie May: A very large comedian from Houston, TX.
4. Geoff Brown: A former marine from Chicago, IL.
5. Rich Vos: A somewhat caustic comedian from Plainfield, NJ.
6. Tess Drake: A plus-sized diva from Sandusky, OH.

Did It Really Happen?

This week's episode picked up immediately after last week's competition, as the house comics were reeling in shock at the loss of Dave Mordal (all except for Dat, who felt vindicated that he had beaten "one of the veterans").

The comic most affected was Rich Vos, who had bonded with Dave during their time together. "It feels almost like a break-up," Rich lamented in voiceover, during a touching montage of greatest moments of Dave-n-Rich: smoking, scheming, hunting rats, and of course sharing the bathtub. Rich also had to explain to the other comics, "I don't think you guys realize -- Dave is gone. I'm the man of the house. I fix the showers. I catch the rats now. I hope nothing breaks by tomorrow." Proving the efficacy of Rich's authority, Ralphie responded by saying, "Shut up, Vos!"

Surprisingly, part of Ralphie's reaction was to give props to Dat. "The kid's got more heart than anybody I've ever seen in my life," said Ralphie in interview, which was high praise considering how much credit Ralphie had given Rob Cantrell for taking him on. Even though Ralphie thought Dave was the better comic, "Dat was better. He wanted it more."

But while Ralphie was giving Dat credit for his performance, the comics overall still felt free to remark on Dat's eccentricity. Dat practiced martial arts on the porch, against a chair. Rich wistfully dreamed of Dat falling over the cliff: "I'd like to end every story about Dat Phan flying over the wall." He also was taken aback that Dat was fighting a chair. "What happens if you invite this guy for dinner? 'Dat, would you like to sit down?' 'Not on that chair. That chair killed my brother.'"

Last Call With Cor(e)y Kahaney

Having won last week's scavenger hunt competition, Cory Kahaney was rewarded with a spot on Last Call with Carson Daly. While she enjoyed the goodies provided, Cory didn't let the gifts go to her head -- mainly because her name had been misspelled on the door as "Corey Kahaney."

Cory also seemed uptight and nervous. She was tight-lipped with the make-up and hair people, and, prior to the show, Jay Mohr kept asking her what was the matter and insisting she was going to have fun. Cory muttered, "I know," but only smiled tightly as Jay continued talking to her.

Perhaps it was doing a set on TV, or perhaps it was the venue. "Carson Daly is a show that, in my house, the only person who's ever seen it was my kid," she said, so she tried to tailor the show to that age group. She started with a joke about her own 18-year-old daughter: "They say, 'They don't need you to be their friend.' Yeah, no kidding. I know who my friends are, and they don't steal money out of my purse in the middle of the night."

Cory ended up feeling pleased with her performance, and gratified that a new sign had been provided for her dressing room with a corrected spelling of her name -- even though the sign didn't stick to the door.

But most of all, she was happy to be at this stage of the competition. "The great thing about being part of the final six is, I think we're -- I think we're home free."

Six, Schmix

Did you recognize an ironic segue in Cory's last remark? I knew you did. I did, too.

The comics received a cryptic message from the fortune-telling machine which read, "Jackson, Slaughterhouse, Comics." After some false starts, Rich figured out that this meant there would be five comedians, not six (Jackson FIVE, Slaughterhouse FIVE). This understanding was confirmed by host Jay Mohr, who let them know that there was also another wrinkle for them to take account of: Not only was there one more head-to-head competition, but the person who received the most nominations would not be allowed to choose their competitor, as they had in previous competitions.

The comics had varying reactions to the news that there was another head-to-head competition on the way. Most notably, Geoff expressed a lot of bravado, claiming that he just wanted to get out there and tell jokes and he hoped that he went up. Me, I had to roll my eyes. After the number of times that he had (to borrow a Ralphie-ism) "punked out" in his voting, I didn't believe at all that all he wanted to do was tell jokes. Ralphie, I believe, wants to go out there every time. Dave might have been eager to perform. But Geoff? If he'd wanted to go out on stage so much, he would have given himself a chance by voting with the majority against Sean Kent, Tere Jones, or Rob Cantrell, instead of essentially giving himself immunity by voting in the minority. As Rich remarked, "Why would you put yourself into the ring for the small fight, if you can put yourself into the ring for the big fight?"

As for the other comics, Tess was resigned ("I'm going to do my thing, regardless. ... They've been wanting to see me perform anyway. Everybody wants to see me perform."); Rich was morose; Cory was freaking out -- both about the competition and that the Coalition was not discussing their voting strategy; Ralphie was prepared; and Dat was uptight. Ralphie even went to check on Dat to make certain that he was all right. Dat said he was, and he focused on just getting done what he needed to get done -- eating, meditating, rehearsing. (Probably the best Dat line was when Dat got to the end of his rehearsal in the empty theater: "That's my set. You guys have been great. I'm going to go ahead and step off the stage for a while. I've got to go ahead and turn my laundry over. I might be back later on tonight.")

This Is The Last Time We'll Tell You Who We're Funnier Than

Jay Mohr gathered the comics together for one last round of nominations, and here are the results:

• Dat nominated Cory (quoting Dave Mordal's words that he "want[ed] to return the favor" after Cory nominated him last week -- and I must say, the boy shows a set of cojones by invoking the name of Dave Mordal after having so recently taken him out!).
• Geoff nominated Rich (saying in interview that he wasn't afraid of anybody, once again causing my eyes to roll).
• Tess nominated Dat (saying that, while she had much respect for what he'd done the previous night against Dave, she didn't want to break tradition).
• Ralphie nominated Geoff (noting that three people had performed, three hadn't, and he wanted to see someone who hadn't performed yet).
• Rich nominated Geoff (prompting Geoff to say, "Yes! Yes!" at the tie-break).
• Cory nominated Geoff (saying that this was a "change of pace").

I have to give him credit, Geoff appeared excited that he was going up. But there was still the little matter of who he would go against. Time for some help from . . . the Mystery Guests!

Mystery Guests, Sign In Please!

Jay introduced the special guests who would choose the challenger for Geoff -- former housemates Sean Kent, Tere Joyce, Rob Cantrell, and Dave Mordal.

But before making their choice, the ousted comics spoke to the group.

Dave came on surprisingly bitter. "I had a really, really good time with all of you, except Dat, you know, but .... I had no idea you were just going to mock your mother for ten minutes, otherwise I'd have brought, like, my uncle into the picture. I didn't know you could get away with just doing that." Ouch! While there's some measure of validity to what he said, that also seemed really harsh. Dat is scarcely the first person to bitch about his family in a routine (isn't that sort of the basis of the whole show Everybody Loves Raymond?).

Rob and Tere were both kinder in their comments, simply stating how happy they were to have been in this group and wishing the remaining comics all the best.

Sean demonstrated the humorless style that made him a prime target for first ejection. "Thanks for the vacation. The hotel has been lovely. Nobody smokes. It's been delicious. And Dat, thanks for taking out Dave."

And The Challenger Is ...

The four ousted comics had to come to a unanimous decision on who Geoff would be facing. While there were various grudges that could have been called into play (Tere and Cory had clashed, and Sean hadn't gotten along with anyone), the decision was to put up ... Dat Phan! While Dave announced that he didn't want to be the only person going up twice, it looked like other factors came into play in the decision. One was the long-standing reasoning that Dat, as the youngest one there, needed to prove himself (which, surprisingly, we saw brought up by Rob Cantrell, another younger comic). Dave told the group that he was choosing Dat because Dat had beaten him mercilessly the previous night. However, in interview, Dave said that he didn't want Rich to go up because he was afraid that Rich was too rusty and, as Dave had, would suffer in the competition.

Rich saw the decision as being karmic -- Dat had told the other comics that, if they wanted Geoff out, he'd make them deal with it, but it ended up that Dat himself would have to deal with it. Ralphie expressed his belief that Dat would win, while Cory thought the competition would go to Geoff, based on his fifteen years of experience versus Dat's two or three.

Dat, for his part, was thrown by having been put up. Last week, the comics in the house unanimously nominated him; this week, the comics outside of the house unanimously decided to put him up. He felt like everyone was against him. (Dude, really, you need to stop taking it so personally!) But ultimately he told himself (and the camera) that it's a learning experience, and "as the Dalai Lama said, 'You will win if you don't lose the lesson.'"

Geoff blustered (although he did admit that he had to beat somebody (Dat) who beat somebody (Dave) who beat somebody (Sean), "and I don't take that lightly").

Fifteen Years Versus Three

Last week, I wanted it to be a Dat and Geoff match-up. Dat denied me the pleasure then, but this week, it's onnnnnn!

First up was Geoff. Yes, he seemed comfortable on the stage -- after fifteen years, it would be surprising if he weren't. But I didn't care for his act at all. A lot of it had to do with mocking people who weren't physically attractive. Some of it was homophobic. A lot of it played into stereotypes about women (shopping makes it all good). Based on his auditions, it was what I expected, and it was why I didn't think he deserved to be in the finals.

Surprisingly, Dat's performance was different from last week. I don't know if he took Dave's words to heart (if so, it would be another example of tough love by the comics that is actually benefitting Dat), but this week he didn't make fun of his family at all. He did play on racial elements, but more in the context of talking about racism or stereotypes. He also had some mildly funny bits about dating. He seemed more nervous than he was last week, and the material didn't flow as smoothly. However, I thought much of the material itself was better than last week's, and it was definitely better than Geoff's.

Fortunately, the studio audience agreed with me, and with 77% of the vote, Dat was declared the winner. Geoff slunk off. (Okay, he said all the right things about not making excuses, and that Dat won because he was funnier than Geoff.) And in the bus going back, the comics asked Dat why he couldn't have taken out Geoff yesterday, and admired that he "took it twice in a row." (Little brother's come a long way in that house, I think.)

Final Comments: Well, there were no shockers this week, but I was so glad that Geoff was out of there that I found the episode satisfying. Not the best, but satisfying.

Next week, the five remaining comics will perform in Las Vegas, and we in America will vote to determine the winner. Here are the comics we will be able to choose among, with their final comments from the show:

• Rich Vos: "I have tons of anxiety. I'm like -- I am the posterboy for anxiety. They should call this the Anxiety House. The winner should get a prescription for Xanax and Paxil."
• Cory Kahaney: "This was a lot harder than it looked. We are tough as nails, and we supposedly have this thick skin, but we obviously do comedy because we want to be loved."
• Tess Drake: "It's going to be a toss-up. Win or lose. I mean, I think we're all going to win. I mean, we're going to the finals; we're the final five. So, man, nuh-uh, there's not going to be a loser in this, really."
• Dat Phan: "I know here (head) and I know here (heart) that I love comedy. And I know here (head) and here (heart) that I'm good at it. I've been blessed with that. I know that. I don't have to prove it."
• Ralphie May: "Predictions? I think I'll win it. I mean, that's just what I think."

Last Comic Standing is on Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. Eastern time.