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ARTICLE
A Dose of Reality: The Next Joe Millionaire: Episode 4
by Beth Gottfried
Published: November 4, 2003

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Someone needs to send a memo to the execs over at FOX. The memo would read that when hiring a contestant for a reality TV show, explain to said person that the show is NOT REAL, simply a game intended to amuse and entertain viewers for a short period of time. I think if this message had been relayed to Dave Smith watching him regress to MUSH on national TV would not be as painful. Evan Marriott may not have been the world’s brightest bulb, but he also didn’t have any real emotion. (kinda like a Ken doll) This worked in his favor, too. He was just a superficial dude looking for his token fifteen mins of fame, which is precisely what a show like “Joe Millionaire” has to offer. Unfortunately, Dave Smith really thinks he is “Joe Millionaire” and as such made a lethal mistake in falling hard core for one of the contestants, his beloved Linda.

Linda was a likeable choice from the start. She was classy, poised, gracious, and kind. She’s the type of gal that both men and women would think is beautiful and a great catch. She also seemed to be falling for Dave. Dave did not hide his affections for Linda all that well and the other gals got jealous and started to talk smack about poor Linda. As a result, Linda felt flustered, upset, claimed she “did not know how to deal with stressful situations” and pleaded with Dave to let her go. And he did. This was sad because you could tell they both cared a great deal for each other. It was heart wrenching because if memory serves me correctly they both in fact even cried.

But let’s not forget there are 6 other women who aren’t afraid to play the game and rival for the love or $$ of young stud.

Week 3 had the girls getting down & dirty with the young Texan. In true Texas fashion, David made the girls shovel manure, ride horses, and eat some pork. Then in true reality TV form, the girls stripped down to bikinis and played with David in the pool. Olinda, our Swedish leathery nymph, tried to get Dave to remove his trunks, but the modest David pleaded with her and I’m pretty sure he won though a commercial break followed. (so we can’t be entirely sure) The other gals (notably the Icy Anique) left the pool in disgust. But really I think only because they were jealous that they didn’t get to cop a feel of David’s impressive physique.

If I were a betting gal I would say the odds are definitely in favor of Cat coming out on top. She seems to be highly in tune with how to play the game. Case in point: While the other gals sneak inside during the overnight camping excursion, she’s the only one that actually is still seen outside in the morning. For all I know she could have snuck inside, gone to sleep and then snuck back outside to show David what a good sport she is. If she did pull this off, she scores even higher marks in my book. At any rate, Cat is smart and I think she’ll pull it off. I think the last 3 standing will be Cat, Anique, and Krystina (or Olinda). Olinda needs to be voted off soon because is I see any more of her leathery goodness I may not be able to contain myself. Also how can someone who claims to be a fashion designer have such TERRIBLE fashion sense?

On a more somber note, the fun loving Italian Alessia was dismissed. I figured it was only a matter of time because she was so NICE but also not the most attractive chica. The other gals were crying profusely when saying goodbye to her and she seemed like perhaps she would miss them more than David. Hey, maybe this experience has made her reconsider which team to play for. I know it definitely has made me wonder. Well actually dating in Boston has done this to me, but back to “Joe”…

Dave also eliminated Lina. If you will notice “Lina” is one letter short of a “Linda” and I think in all fairness the similarity in the names was too much for him. Lina was another Linda casuality, much like Karolina in last week’s round. So sad…Like Dave says at the end of the night: Linda was like that “bicycle” that you always wanted and finally got for Christmas and then was taken away from you. Hmmm…I’m still unclear where Mr. Smith was going with the “bicycle” reference, but I think it may have something to do with motors and engines.

Will Dave rebound with Cat in the hot tub? Will he be able to take Olinda shopping without maxing his credit cards? The answer to these probing questions perhaps lies in next week’s episode so be sure to catch my review.

Till then, ill be sipping my bourbon with Paul.

And wondering if he too is gay...

Episode 1
Episodes 2&3

For the most up-2-date news on "Joe," B sure to check out:

For fun linksSirLinksALot
The official Fox siteJoe Millionaire