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by The Trades Staff Published: June 1, 2004
"Superstar USA" airs on the WB Monday and Tuesday nights at 9pm Eastern / 8pm Central. Rosa - "Wind Beneath My Wings" Byron writes: I admit: I just love Rosa's boice. His improvisational style and freedom from rigorous form were bery refreshing. I was engaged in the performance from start to finish. I think Rosa will be locking horns with Nina Diva for the title of prima donna in this competition. Millie writes: What better song could there be for Rosa? She has that delicate, birdlike manner, and incomparable vocal tone. Fly free, little one! And know that our hearts soar with you! Dane writes: Is that vibrato or is she just shaking? Doesn't matter, it was breathtaking. Even though she only sang about four words, I wish she would have sung less. Her moans and wails were fabulous. Reminded me of a whale song. I could have listened to them all night. Howard writes: She thinks she's Estafan? J-Lo? And she thinks Bette Midler is a "he?" That takes gender-bending to a level even the Divine Miss M never considered! Whether she opens her mouth to talk or sing, it's a disaster. What is it that's going on here? As an experiment, I muted my television and found that Rosa even befuddles the closed-caption typists. Mario - "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll" Byron writes: Mario continues to wow me with his groundbreaking dance moves. But don't get me wrong: he's more than just a one-trick pony. No one else I know can take such a boring, lifeless song and put a new spin on it. Mario's got some stiff competition, but he's definitely got the image for the WB's Superstar USA. Millie writes: Mario tore this one up! Way to go! My only question is... what do I do with my 24x36 poster of Tom Cruise? I guess I can leave it up until Mario's posters start hitting the stores. Dane writes: Forget the singing. It's all about the dancing. That cat paw move? Ow, that's hot. Howard writes: Hey, he knows all the words, so that's some kind of improvement. But he's breathless when he tries to sing and dance at the same time. He doesn't quite have the rock and roll growl I think this song needs. This was a karaoke performance, as a certain Brit-crit would say. (And where is he, anyway? Did he quit?) Omar - "Endless Love" Byron writes: Ooooooooooooomar! Omar was classic tonight. At times tender and subtle, at times boisterous and emotional, he was always brilliant. With the tragic loss of the great Barry White last year, the musical world can rejoice that Omar is here to take up the cause. Millie writes: Endless love. Oh, Omar, if only it had been. Why, why, why did it have to end? Dane writes: What a turnaround! Last week I wasn't feeling Omar, but this week, I was blown away. With the backdrop of Venice and his butterfly kisses, tears welled up in my eyes. He is pure magic. Howard writes: Endless love? This felt like Endless Song! What is it that shuts down the nerves to Omar's eyelids when his vocal chords are engaged? This is the second week in a row they went into full butterfly-flutter mode when he hit the lilting verses. (Well, at least the verses that were meant to be lilting.) No tonality at all. Sorry, Omar. Jamie - "My Heart Will Go On" Byron writes: Jamie is definitely unique and sexy. Sexy, and unique. A little bit unique, a lotta bit sexy. In fact, I don't think the words "unique" and "sexy" quite go far enough. Uniquxy? Sexnique? Suenxiquye!!! Sexy squared, unique double-squared, and sexy squared again. Millie writes: Jamie, talk to the hand. Sing to the hand. Take the hand out to dinner. Don't listen to Briggs if he tells you to offer the hand a cigarette, because he's only trying to get between you and the hand. Because that's where the magic is. Your hand will go on. Dane writes: She stole Omar's warm-up exercise! And boy did it work! She brought the power tonight. Unbelievable, too, for such a skinny girl. And I didn't see her use her hands once. Good girl. Howard writes: Okay, she starts out two octaves too high. If she can keep that up, in key, I'll be damned impressed. But, no surprise, she can't, and goes way off key. This just seems to be the loser season for this competition. I'm starting to think things are rigged in favor of John Michael. But the rigging is so blatant! Someone sink this Titanic flop, please! Tamara - "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" Byron writes: Tamara really had to "bring it" in order to top her performance last week. In my opinion, she was good, but not great. Her vocals skills were just... meh, and her improvisational skills were found lacking. She had that same Tamara vim and vigor, but I doubt it'll be enough to save her. Millie writes: As a trained professional, I pride myself on being able to separate a performance from the material being performed. But "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is my Achilles heel. I just don't like this song, and I think that most of America feels the same way. I'm a little suspicious that Tamara--whose name and talent are so reminiscent of Tamyra from that other show... what's it called?... well, never mind, it's probably been cancelled by now anyway--was assigned this song. Conspiracy? Dane writes: Tamara really connected with me last week, but I think she tried to up the ante tonight and actually touch me in my living room. Sadly, she overshot me and ended up in the kitchen. Missed me completely. Howard writes: Not bad, actually, but she needs to steer clear of the vibrato notes; she can't hold them. She's certainly the most improved singer so far this week. But "on fire?" Sorry, Tamara, not even a slow burn on this one. John Michael - "Eye of the Tiger" Byron writes: Last week I said that John Michael needed to step it up in his next performance in order to move on. He did just the opposite. What an awful performance! Bad singing, bad choreo... the guy could totally use some tips from Mario. Love his 80's retro attire, though. Millie writes: All I can say is... I need more cowbell! Dane writes: Much like Clubber Lang, John Michael started out strong and hard, but he couldn't go the distance. He petered out at the end and "Rocky" easily made short work of him. Howard writes: JM is cheated by poor mixing and production. His vocals easily and naturally overpower the instrumentals. Nice, nice, nice ad-lib ending! Superbly done there, for what he has to work with. But... the judges are cool to it. So who is this show rigged for? I'm suddenly at a loss to even guess. Jo Jo - "Footloose" Byron writes: Jo Jo gave a performance that made me memorate early Boy George. He really used those lower notes to show us a sexy, sultry side of the enigmatic Jo Jo. And until tonight, I didn't realize what a potential sex object he could be. Watch out, ladies, it's not just his bright smile that will make him irresistible! Millie writes: Last week, Jo Jo was all European suavete. This week, he's the quintessential working class American hero! And was he hot? We're talking about a HUNDRED and six degrees of Kevin Bacon! Dane writes: Jo Jo's got the toothpaste smile, the neck mojo, swinging pelvis and happy feet. He is a lethal combination. His deep voice only adds fuel to the fire. Look out folks, Jo Jo is going to blow! Howard writes: No No! The two-note wonder shows his third and fourth notes--barely. And Briggs obviously has the hots for this fashion nightmare. Absolutely unbelievable that this judge likes this performance. Maybe he's just being nice. Nina Diva - "We Don't Need Another Hero" Byron writes: Nina Diva gave me the thrill of my young life by performing my favorite song from my favorite movie. There were a few vocal miscues, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her simply feline performance. Speaking of feline, I'd like to see Nina Diva incorporate the Diva Kitty into future performances. Millie writes: We don't need another hero... but do we need another diva? Nina proves you can never have too many divas--Nina Diva, Diva Kitty... with their combined sparkle, they could open at Diva Las Vegas! Dane writes: The kicks are back! It hurt just looking at them. As for the singing, I think it would have helped if she watched the movie her song came from ("Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome"). Then she would have really gotten the emotion behind the song. It's an important lesson to learn kids: Do your homework. Howard writes: You know, the last group I roundtabled with at least showed a modicum of musical talent recognition. You guys are just so very way off--you need to watch the whole show, because I think you're basing your opinions just off the commercials! Nina Diva manages to carry a tune this time around, so I think it's safe to say we'll see her again next week, in all her flamboyant glory. FINAL THOUGHTS Nina Diva, Tamara, Omar, and John Michael didn't make the cut. Byron writes: Mostly, I agree with the choices. John Michael was totally out of his element, and the others were the weakest of a strong bunch. The competition is heating up... and I honestly don't know who's going to win! It should be exciting! Millie writes: I'm glad I'm not one of the judges on the show, because this is a tight competition! I think Tamara got a raw deal with her choice of song, but who can deny, for example, the magic that is Mario? The only easy choice was John Michael. Cowbell, dude. I'm tellin' ya. Dane writes: The divas were off tonight. I agree that Tamara and Nina were not on the top of their game. Guess we won't have that cat fight after all. It seems that the dancers have the advantage. Jo Jo, Mario, these guys have the moves. Omar may have warmth, but he doesn't get down. A little boogie goes a long way. Howard writes: Aghast! Astonished! Absolutely appalled at the abysmally atrocious and agonizingly aberrant decisions by the judges. I'm lost, lost, lost, as the list of names got read off. At least I know now who this contest is "Brigged" toward: Jamie. It's obvious the producers want to keep "abreast" of her career. The lesson learned tonight--it ain't talent, it's cup size. And next week, I have absolutely no idea who's going to win. There are no deserving hopefuls! It's just a travesty. Superstar USA's Official Site | SirLinksalot's Superstar USA Page Talk about "Superstar USA" on our Reality Forum! |
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