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by The Trades Staff Published: June 10, 2005
The Knack - "My Sharona" Raul writes: Whoa, OK. I thought this show was supposed to suck. But instantly this is better than anything I saw last week. The sound is better. The performance (at least by the Knack) is better. The host is still annoying as hell, but I can almost tolerate him when everything else going so well. I see that Rolling Stone called the Knack "the new Fab Four" back in '79. I hope that headline writer got fired the next day. But the Knack is playing it up, dressed it black suits with skinny black ties. They sound great, just as good as the original, and they look pretty damn good for a band whose only hit is a QUARTER OF A CENTURY old. Howard writes: This is a big turnaround from last week so far. The Knack still has the knack for performing, despite their seemingly shy entrance. Sure, their voices are a little deeper than when they first hit the scene, so the harmonies are a little different for the chorus. But overall, this one was a welcome blast from the past. And the guys still look in great shape. Molly writes: After the debacle last week, my expectations for this week are way down. So, with that in mind, The Knack sounded pretty good! "My Sharona" is a great song, but not exactly a challenging vocal exercise. It's great because it's fun, and they seemed to be having fun with it. Paul writes: During the introduction for this band, they noted that their popularity grew so great they were touted as the next Fab Four. As they ascended to the stage, their haircuts did indeed look like the second coming of the Beatles. This tune's enduring rock legacy (it is reportedly on the roster of President George W. Bush's iPod) guaranteed that they would have to have a solid performance to even stand a chance in this competition. They acquitted themselves quite well, and it was nice to see band members other than the lead singer actual play their instruments. Still, the blistering guitar solo was nowhere to be found. The advancing age of the musicians somehow made the lyrics creepier. This show's fixation on only the lead singer of bands was never more evident as host Vernon Kay totally ignored and cut in front of the guitarist to rush up to lead singer Doug Fieger to ask his inane questions. Haddaway - "What Is Love" Raul writes: It's the song that got a second wind when it became the anthem for the Roxbury boys on Saturday Night Live, and Haddaway pays them a tribute by doing the Roxbury head bop at the start of his performance. You can tell he's having fun and not taking things too seriously. He's got four bimbos dancing around on stage all around him and the backup singer is sexy hot but that's about all you can tell about her, because - it turns out - one problem from last week has yet to be fixed... YOU CAN'T HEAR THE BACKUP SINGERS! Without the girl doing the backing vocals, the song falls kind of flat. Howard writes: Haddaway does a fair job. I don't think the backup singer was really singing, since her lips started moving before the vocals came out. But as long as Haddaway isn't lip-synching--and he isn't--then it's all right. Bit of a weak attempt at a strong end. But props for the dancers. Molly writes: Talk about your one-hit wonders! I couldn't even have said if this was by a solo artist or a group. Of course, the artists from the '90s have an advantage over the ones from the '80s, but Haddaway actually sounded very good. His vocals were strong, and he put a little panache into the performance as well. He was a little too quick with the "come on"s, but I enjoyed his performance. Even on his final note, he didn't stint. (Plus, that smile!) Paul writes: As the music started, he did the little head bop made famous with this song' s inclusion in the movie "A Night at the Roxbury". This made a bad first impression on me that signaled his performance would be a parody of past glory. Then the dancers appeared and I lost focus (and interest) on his performance and instead marveled at the wondrous art of choreography. I thought the female's backup vocals were flat out faked. Haddaway's voice was deep and strong, and he flawlessly recreated his hit. Tommy Tutone - "867-5309 (Jenny)" Raul writes: Like the Knack, it looks like Tommy Tutone has been able to keep most of the original band in tact. And Tommy looks good on stage, maybe even better than when he did this song in the 80s, but his vocals are a little off. Very nasal. I'm afraid he's lost the music magic. Howard writes: Three acts in a row that put the lie to last week's conclusion that all our idols of yesteryear had gone to seed (and into larger pants!) The backup singers definitely still got it, but Tommy himself is a tad bit shakey at the start, but seems to get into his groove about mid-song. Another overall good performance. Molly writes: Hey, look, karaoke! No, original band. It was okay. Tommy just didn't seem to have a good grip on how he wanted to sing the song. The notes and inflections were sliding all over the place. There was no assurance to his rendition. I did like the floating numbers in the back, though -- probably the first time I've approved of a production choice on this show! Paul writes: Again, the band performance was solid. Lead singer Tommy Heath's vocals weren't very strong, but then again they never were. The great guitar solo was skipped in this shortened rendition. I did feel like calling out "Earth calling Tommy Heath…come in, please" as host Vernon Kay engaged his stupefied demeanor following the performance. I loved the segment later on that brought viewers up to speed on what the band has been doing since their heyday. When asked if he ever called that famous phone number, Tommy Heath answered, "it never even crossed my mind" in a world-weary way that said this was probably the ten thousandth time he had been asked that question. The Motels - "Only the Lonely" Raul writes: Martha Davis is to the Motels as Chrissy Hind is to the Pretenders. That is to say, so long as she's in the band... she is the band. The rest can come and go as they please, and I see that's what Martha Davis did here. She's the only original member. She's a little bit heavier. A little bit older. But her voice is still wonderful. The song sounds like they could be playing it right off the CD. She nails this haunting ballad. Howard writes: I only saw one person make an entrance, but the rest of the group is there hiding in the shadows. [She] is too old to be pulling off the goth look these days, but the voice is still as good as it ever was. This night is going to come down to the modern covers to pick a winner. Molly writes: In contrast to "My Sharona," "Only the Lonely" does demand a good set of vocal chops. Martha Davis did an excellent job with this. She's not up to her '80s vocals, but she also seemed to have kept this song close to her, adapting it to her current vocal range. Very different from either The Knack or Tomy Tutone. She was very polished, and the audience really responded to her professionalism as well. Paul writes: Martha Davis wins tonight's award for most aged musician since the days of their success. No close-ups, please! She apparently is way more important than her other band mates since she was the lone ascender to the stage. The guitar and saxophone solo totally make this song, and neither was to be found in this abbreviated version. Martha's voice is still pure magic, and she gave an impressively tender and aching performance. For once, we're treated to a cut-off ending that is kind of cool. Once again, the train wreak that is Vernon Kay's post-performance repartee produced a rather embarrassing exchange. While reminiscing about Davis' (long gone) hot looks, Kay asks if groupies still follow her around. Davis flirtatiously cocks her head back expectantly to the crowd, only to have the camera cut to a group of unresponsive, smiles-plastered-on-their-faces young women. Probably not the visual they were going for. Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby" Raul writes: I've watched Vanilla Ice's appearance on the Surreal Life so I'm familiar with his image makeover and I know he has issues with his past image in general and this song in particular, but... oh my GOD! First, let me just say that he's built like a tank. Second, this performance is amazing. He's essentially covered his own song and - as they would say on American Idol - made it "his own". He's taken a bubblegum pop dance number and turned it into hip hop. Watching him on stage was like watching a hardcore rapper performer... except for the breakdancer flailing around behind Vanilla Ice. That was unnecessary. Howard writes: How can you not "talk" the way you used to? It's not like his voice is going to crack on a high note with this song... just keep the same rhythm. And at that, he excels. At first, I couldn't tell what was him and what was backup, as though he was singing with himself. But later it separated and I could hear him clearer (although we had more of those mic problems for the backup singer at the turntable this time.) Molly writes: Apparently Rob Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice, has had a change of heart from his time on "The Surreal Life," when he complained about everybody associating him with this song. He gave a decent rendition. The production problems seemed worse than ever, although it could be that this genre just was more dependent on good technical support. Paul writes: Robert Van Winkle has finally had a life to live up to the rep he always wanted to project when his novelty as a white rapper launched this tune in the chart-topping stratosphere in 1990. I didn't hear the "Under Pressure" bass line at first, and figured that by this time Queen and/or David Bowie would have sued the living daylights out of Vanilla Ice has he continued to rip it off. I was mistaken, however, as it appeared later on in the song. Quite honesty, I can't hear this song "normally" anymore since I discovered a really cool mashup of this tune with Duran Duran's "All She Wants Is". I guess that's a step up from totally hearing "Under Pressure" when the tune starts. The performance began a bit sloppily as Vanilla Ice's maladroit on-stage rapping buddy managed to knock off his hat as they hopped around. The rap is what it is, and Vanilla Ice knows how to play to the already-whipped-up crowd. Another Vernon Kay moment presented itself as he asked the Iceman whether he still had his parachute trousers. Dude, nobody says "trousers" in America unless they are of retirement age. At the very end an awkward moment happened where it looked like there was a fast bit of editing and Vernon Kay appeared a bit flustered as he sputtered "Oh yes, you really did see that!" What happened? Did we miss a Vanilla Moon or a Vanilla Finger? The Knack - "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" Raul writes: Unlike most of last week's covers, I had no trouble whatsoever recognizing this song. For those unfamiliar with it, you may know it better as "the iPod song". I've always said that today's alterna-rock has its roots in 80s pop, and this proves it. The Knack puts on a very impressive performance. Doug Fieger can't seem to hit the highest notes but certainly makes a valiant effort. Howard writes: Top notch start. Top notch middle. Top notch end. Why did these guys stop making records again? These guys are just having fun, and it's contagious to the audience. They've got two A-plusses in my book. Molly writes: In a sense, this was a great song choice for The Knack. It's a fun, bouncy, fast song. Unfortunately, the fast notes were a little slow, and the high notes were a little low. Again, the strongest part of the performance was the fun the group had playing it. Paul writes: This choice of Jet's rockin' hit was right up their alley. They performed it with energy although they were beginning to poop out toward the end. They still have the knack. Haddaway - "Toxic" Raul writes: If you had any doubt that Haddaway wasn't taking this whole thing too seriously, this should banish those thoughts from your head. He starts the performance by slithering across the stage, Britney-like. The song is true to the original version but Haddaway puts on a huge production, with four dancers, three backup singers, countless musicians, and a few more pseudo-sexy crawls on stage. It's all a little much, I think. Even as a joke. Howard writes: Okay, that particular "crawling on the floor" bit works better for Britney than for Haddaway. Ah, but then come the sex kitten dancers, and all is forgiven. Very strong vocals, no sign of any weakness in this performance except maybe a little overacting. Molly writes: This was an odd choice for Haddaway. Britney doesn't comand the same excitement that she used to, and while he sang it well it wasn't a uniquely wonderful rendition. I think he might have done better with some Madonna or Christina Aguilera, if he wanted to perform in that vein. Paul writes: Somehow I just didn't want to see Haddaway crawling along the stage like, well, Britney Spears. I thought his vocals were wrong for this song. When you're used to a song by someone who can't sing, it's hard to buy into a version by someone who can. The dancing girls were beginning to get tedious, in an I-guess-you-had-to-be-there kind of way that would probably be much more successful in a club setting. Haddaway's histrionics were just too "precious" and had the tune lasted any longer it could have gotten downright "toxic". Tommy Tutone - "All The Small Thing" Raul writes: This song choice had me very excited, and Tommy's band manages to keep up the tempo, but Tommy just can't handle the vocals. He screws up a few lyrics and just doesn't have the same frantic style of Blink 182. Plus I can't get over the fact that if I call tech support, Tommy Tutone might show up. Should have saved some of those royalty checks, 'eh? Howard writes: Whoa... Tommy takes on a bit of a psychotic glint starting this out, and the vocals seem overly forced--not strained, just forced. Okay, but not the most outstanding performance of the night... and this is a song that really should have been a good fit for Tommy Tutone's style. Molly writes: Oh, this was an awful song for Tommy Tutone. It was like watching my grampa talking to me about what all the kids are into. Even if the words are right, it just comes out wrong. Paul writes: This was the only real performance where I felt like I was watching old guys attempt a young guy's song. Heath's vocals were just not "punky" enough to really pull this tune off. The velocity somewhat covered up for this, but there were still some sections of awkward pacing. It was still an adventurous selection. The Motels - "Don't Know Why" Raul writes: When I hear that Martha's gonna do this song, I feel it's a great choice. She's got just the right voice to handle this kind of bluesy-jazzy pop. So why, then, do the Motels do a rock-n-roll cover of a Norah Jones song? The arrangement is surreal. This song was never meant to be played like this. And seeing Martha struting around stage like an overweight Mick Jagger just doesn't work, honey. Howard writes: This is an interesting interpretation, and probably the most creative interpretation of a modern hit tonight. But at the same time, it's repetitive and boring. It doesn't excite me. Molly writes: Oh. My. Gosh. I don't even know what to say about this. When I heard that they were going to be doing "Don't Know Why," I was excited. I really wanted to hear Martha Davis tackle the song, because I figured that she could do justice to that sad, reflective melody. I would never, ever, have expected a radical, bouncy reinterpretation. And I don't really like it. But I do feel like she deserves points for doing something different instead of just trying to recreate the original. Except that in this case, I would have preferred she recreate the original. Paul writes: I couldn't wait to hear Martha's golden pipes light up this laid-back tune. So when they began playing at a torrid place, my mind screamed "No! This is wrong!" All the other performances of the night cut to shots of the good-looking spectators singing along to whatever melody was emanating from the stage. Not on this one. Cameras showed the audience clapping but not cheering and whooping it up. They were as speechless as I was and wasn't sure what to think of it all. Of all the fondness the producers have for truncating performances, this one seemed to go on forever and I just wanted it to stop. Close up this motel. Vanilla Ice - "Survivor" Raul writes: By now, nothing should surprise me. Still, this lifted my eyebrow a little bit. Vanilla Ice goes full blown gansta rap with this smash hit dance tune. He rewords the lyrics and stands at the edge of the stage flailing his arm like he's the reincarnation of the holy Eminem himself. And then, as if feeling he's earned a bit too much "street cred", he does a couple of classic Vanilla Ice dance moves. Howard writes: Okay, scratch my last comments on The Motels. This is the most interesting reinterpretation. Predictably, it's still shout-rap, so Ice's talents are still largely dancing and vocal timing, which he has in spades. Molly writes: This rap version of "Survivor" worked pretty well. Vanilla Ice's dance moves are a bit dated, but overall, it wasn't bad. I wonder if he was steered away from doing a modern rap song, or if that was his own choice. Paul writes: Vanilla Ice reworked this song by changing the rap to be quite autobiographical. I wondered if this could really even be considered a cover of the Destiny's Child hit because it had a tenuous connection at best. It was effective and really personalized the performance. Winners and Losers Raul writes: I liked the Knack the best. They put on two great performances full of energy that had you tapping your feet if not jumping up and dancing. But I can see how the audience would vote for Vanilla Ice. His style was most similiar to the popular hip hop style of today. Howard writes: This show has done a complete 180 turnaround from last week's parade of misery. But of all the bands tonight, the ones that impressed me the most were The Knack and Haddaway. Both were top notch, vocally. But for teamwork, I have to give it to The Knack. These guys still put out music that I would buy. Haddaway puts on great concerts with the eye candy surrounding him, but The Knack is 100% themselves. But--I guess you don't really have to sing to be a singer. Molly writes: I was very torn this week. After the first round, I couldn't decide if I wanted Haddaway or The Motels. But after the second round, both of them slipped in my estimation. However, I did not particularly want Vanilla Ice to win! I really think Martha Davis blew it with that second song decision. Paul writes: Host Vernon Kay talked up the difficulty in choosing a winner and it was amusing to watch the reaction of the audience as they voted. The sweeping shot before commercial break showed people turning to one another with a look that said, "Who in the world should I vote for?" I think if The Motels had played it straight with the Norah Jones tune they would have walked away the champion in my book. So, it was somewhat surprising as winner Vanilla Ice was announced that he was proclaimed "the audience choice by a mile". Granted, he had stage presence but I didn't feel like he was the runaway winner. I think I finally understand why people have taken a loathing to host Vernon Kay. The show began with him rising to the stage in a puff of smoke and him lamely lifting his arms to entice the crowd, like he was the big rock star. He attempted to build up the suspense of the upcoming acts when all I wanted him to do was shut up and bring on the music. I was particularly bothered with his repeated pronunciation of a certain musician as "Vaniller Ice". The show continues to have poor sound quality, particularly noticeable with the harmony parts during The Knack's performances. The abbreviated versions of all the songs continue to be annoying. I'm beginning to realize that performances by bands are all about the lead vocalist, not any of the other band members. I would find it more entertaining and more a test of the competition to see if the geezers can still play that guitar lick up to the abilities of their original recording. Here's a suggestion to make your viewing more entertaining: watch it with your grandmother. You can enjoy the performance and receive unsolicited comments like "you can't understand a thing they're saying" or "they had good songs back in my day, not this stuff". As the show ended, my grandma's final comment was "are they all on drugs?" Tonight's winner: Vanilla Ice Other sites: Hit Me Baby One More Time | Sirlinksalot.net |
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