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When Danny hits rock bottom, the result is a combination of COPS,
Chippendales, and a public-service announcement about domestic violence.
Because that's what this show is about. Domestic violence, not Danny Bonaduce. You
know how they say "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye"? Well, in this
case, it's all fun and games until a man treats his wife like a prisoner.
In this episode, as many of you have no doubt heard, Danny attempts suicide. The
camera crew is gone when it happens, but they are on hand to capture some repulsive
behavior.
Danny is enraged that Gretchen is having male strippers at her birthday party.
He applies a double standard that should be a red flag for abuse: "Tell me then that
you won't have them or that you won't be mad at me if I do. It's even." Yeah, a
jokey session with a male stripper is exactly the same as paying for a lap dance. He
complains that when his radio station went to a strip bar, he stood outside. She
basically tells Danny that when he goes to a strip bar, he's going to sleep with
someone, whereas Gretchen is not the type to run off with a stripper.
The real issue is that Gretchen is having a good time without him. He always sees
other people as his rivals for Gretchen's attention, and he doesn't want her to
spend any time with all these people who have flown out to celebrate her birthday.
He is raving jealous and asks her if she loves him. Well, duh. Of course she loves
him, but that's not good enough.
Danny's friends, Mutt and Jeff or whatever it is his friends call themselves, are
thrilled at the prospect of a strip bar. But Danny can't let himself have a good
time. He wants to go to the W. Mutt (or is it Jeff?) reminds Danny about previous
bachelor parties with strippers galore.
Danny says what's really bugging him: "She wouldn't say, 'Okay, it hurts your
feelings.' "
So now Gretchen has to ask for permission for every single little move she makes on
the grounds that "she's ordering me not to have strippers." Well, Danny's the one
who has had an affair and hasn't exactly given Gretchen reason to trust him. He
wants to be the one pulling Gretchen's strings.
He leaps out of the limo and proceeds to threaten the crew. It looks like Mutt and
Jeff, the comic relief for the evening, aren't going to make it to the strip
joint.
Here are some of Danny's quotations:
"Somebody's gonna get hurt if somebody doesn't ask me if it's all right for somebody
to take their pants off in front of my wife. Somebody better ask permission."
He yells at the producer who is with Gretchen at the W Hotel:
"I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the
same."
"If she doesn't get on the phone right now, there'll be no stopping me."
"She needs to ask permission if she can have strippers in that room. She needs my
permission. She's MY wife."
As Danny rants at Gretchen, Mutt asks Jeff (or does Jeff aask Mutt?), "Do Nick and
Jessica do this?"
But it's not funny anymore. It's not just fighting. No amount of Gretchen consoling
him or saying she loves him is going to stop him. He simply wants his wife on a
leash.
Danny suddenly runs into the street and leaps into a stranger's car. I guess
even a washed-up ex-celeb can get a free ride in Los Angeles.
The sequence shows the crew running around and piling into the car. Mutt (Jeff's
real quiet) says, "Maybe it's the 'roids. This is beyond the normal, ridiculous ...
jumping into strangers' cars. This is high school."
Boiling Over
Danny goes home, showing that he was all bluff, which is good for Gretchen and her
friends. Then VH1 cues up the Death Cab. (Note to VH1: Would you change the
soundtrack occasionally? There are lots of good bands out there. Give it a whirl,
guys!)
He announces, "The woman I would kill for doesn't really exist."
No, Danny. She doesn't exist. Because she's human instead of a doll.
When Gretchen goes home, he taunts her by grabbing a crewmember's camera. He films
her and tries to pull some sort of confession out of her. She asks the crew to
leave.
Apparently it wasn't what he wanted to hear. A stark black-and-white title appears
on the screen announcing that Danny attempted suicide early that morning and spent
two days in care.
Cut to Dr. Garry's office, where Danny and Gretchen are explaining what happened.
Gretchen asked for a divorce. Danny said, "I can't live without you" and cut his
wrists several times to make sure he got the job done. When Danny recounts the
events, he sounds way too nonchalant, like he's learned nothing from the incident.
He even jokes about the psych ward, "So that was kind of fun."
Danny suddenly announces, "As far as I know, we're all good now" even as Gretchen is
shaking her head. He keeps talking like everything's normal. A guy who slashes his
wrists when his wife asks for divorce is going to pretend like it never even
happened.
Gretchen says, "I am beginning to start feeling more in love toward Danny."
Danny doesn't think that is enough. He commands, "Please look at the doctor and say,
'I am in love with my husband.' "
Gretchen replies, "I think I am at a place where I can begin to feel that
again."
Then Danny does something completely out of line. He grabs his wife by the throat.
His thumbs are on her cheeks - he is squeezing. He turns his back to Dr. Garry and
just sits there and talks to her like he is trying to torture secrets out of her.
His speech to her is remarkably cruel:
"It's painful that you won't sleep with me. So what? I'm in love with you. Never
sleep with me again. I hate it that you ahve a staff of thousands and tell me you
have no time for me.... You treat me terribly, and I'll stay in love with you. I
can't help it. It's like breathing."
If that isn't the standard "it's all your fault I treat you like I do" speech, I
don't know what is.
What does Dr. Garry do? Nothing. He lets Danny attack him. What does the crew do?
Nothing.
Gretchen goes on a drive, leaving Danny with the kids, which isn't the best idea in
the world - leaving them with a passive camera crew. She could use a spine
transplant.
It's Called Domestic Abuse, Folks
We could debate whether or not VH1 went too far in producing a show with someone so
clearly unstable at the center. Anyone could argue that for any reality-show
program, especially those featuring celebrities. These people will literally do
anything to regain the attention they had when they were famous.
Some parts of Breaking Bonaduce are absurd and enjoyable. The public always
loves an ex-celeb who is melting down. Call it schadenfreude. But VH1 has the
opportunity to help others - offer a spousal abuse hotline, a psychiatric care
hotline, something, anything. A camera crew won't always be on hand to mellow out an
abusive husband.
Because Danny Bonaduce is an abusive husband. The show emphasizes that he is abusive
to himself, but he is even more abusive to his wife. And I don't think that's the
editing painting this picture. Even if Mr. and Mrs. Bonaduce play up to the cameras,
this isn't the healthiest family in the world. He and his wife need far more intense
help than what they receive from Dr. Garry. A few sessions in an office aren't going
to cut it.