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If you recall:
Last week, Stacy laughingly compared Brent to the “criminal element” with which she was intimately familiar. (Professionally, not personally, that is.) Though Trump deemed Brent “a disaster,” he couldn’t let Stacy’s poor location decision slide, and Stacy was promptly fired. Next, Pepi – the team leader who didn’t lead – was also given the boot.
The opening scene of this week’s episode contains an age-old reality television cliché: someone crying behind a closed bathroom door. Turns out, Andrea is the one weeping (A bit melodramatic, non? Trump doesn’t hire crybabies, dear) because Brent is returning from the boardroom. She’s upset that she’ll be doomed overseeing him as project manager. Even when Roxanne (seemingly, the only cool-headed one of the crew) attempts to comfort her, Andrea won’t be soothed.
Meanwhile, Gold Rush may be even more handicapped than Synergy is when saddled with Brent. Members Dan and Lee are Jewish and the next task just happens to fall on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. In order to attend services during the two days of religious observance, the two will largely be absent from the task.
Someone suggests that they at least carry their cell phones with them, disregarding the fact that, on the holy days, such technology is forbidden by religious edicts.
Lenny’s keepin’ it real, though, alleging that “they are using this as an excuse not to work.” Citing his own Jewish heritage, Lenny reminds the team that Israeli soldiers fight on high holy days. “They’re not supposed to,” he admits, “but they do.” He says he will blame Dan and Lee entirely for any loss Gold Rush suffers.
Next, in an homage to Jewish-ness, there are a few shots of Brent buttering a stack of bagels. Not a bagel, mind you. A stack. We’re talking at least four. I want to be disgusted, but it just sort of makes me hungry. I could go for a bagel right about now….
The next morning, as Dan and Lee set out for synagogue, Lee clarifies that they’re going “to pray” and mentions he will be “saying a special prayer” for his team. Let’s hope he’s real close to the Big Guy in the Sky, as they’re leaving their team two men short for the mission.
At Trump Towers, a blonde Trump minion named Debra (who Trump addresses as “sweetheart” on national television, single-handedly pushing back the women’s movement in corporate America) is claiming this is “the hottest building in New York.” One would think that the task might have something to do with real estate because of that declaration about the Trump building, but turns out it’s just another shameless and unrelated plug. Instead, the task will center on General Motors. Each team will be responsible for throwing a corporate retreat for top salespeople to introduce them to the Chevy Tahoe 2007. The teams will be evaluated on the success of their events and how enthusiastic they get the sellers about the new car.
Apparently, George is also at synagogue today, so Bill is there to step in and oversee one team while Carolyn (who has got a bit of bedhead going on. Late night, missy?) watches the other.
Brent promises to “step up to the plate.” We will see…
Post-commercial break is Trump’s lesson of the week, entitled “Plan B.” Not a reference to the morning-after pill like I initially assumed, he means that smart business people stay flexible. Good enough idea for me.
Gold Rush, headed by Theresa, wants to plan a “nice, classy event,” but has no real concept other than that. Snippy Theresa cuts everyone off, demanding “Just find the information” and “Get me a horse and carriage” and “Don’t take that away from me.” Meanwhile her appointed creative director Tarek is not allowed to be creative. (Though I don’t know if I’d trust him. The only idea out of his mouth is that he wants to buy a big putting green to put on an outdoor lawn. EVER HEARD OF ASTROTURF?)
As Lenny laments, “I wish her brain was bigger than her boobs,” Theresa sets off on a mission to dig up some makeup (as a girl’s gotta look her best), leaving her team with no real theme. But they do have an open bar. So they should be fine.
Over at Synergy, Andrea is looking for a big idea. Brent steps up to the plate (as promised) and suggests a massage table. Horrified at the idea of forcing the clients to strip down and lay on a public table, Andrea promptly buries Brent in busywork.
Again, Roxanne steps up with the first real idea of the day: the importance of emphasizing the car’s combination of ruggedness and sleekness. “Nature refined,” someone suggests, and they’re set.
Cut out of the loop, Brent settles in for some munchies. Oooh – what’s that he has there? Looks like beef and broccoli. He’s making my tummy rumble again…..
Over at Gold Rush, Theresa is appalled to find that Lenny has neglected to get a power generator.
“It’s not my problem,” Lenny states flatly.
Theresa screeches, “It’s your job.”
But literal Lenny claims that the stage is his job, but not the electricity to power it. So Brice steps in and gets a company to come on last minute notice and set it up.
Is that open bar ready yet? I sure could use a drink….
Flipping back to Synergy, a construction team is erecting a rock climbing wall – just one of the rugged and outdoorsy events they will be having over the course of the day. They are also planning on having skeet shooting (though I don’t know how I feel about unstable Andrea being armed) – or at least they’re planning on having it until a ranger informs them the activity is forbidden within the confines of the park. And good thing, as they didn’t seem to have any safety precautions instituted besides a hope and a prayer.
Left in the lurch because of the cancelled activity, Andrea comes up with the idea of golf cart racing to add to the day’s activities of rock climbing and fly fishing, leading British Sean to label Andrea “a genius” and viewers to label Sean “a kiss-ass.”
Over at Gold Rush, Brice is given twenty minutes to get their spokesmodels to understand (and retain!) the facts and figures on the Tahoe. Empty, vapid – but beautiful – faces stare back at him during the course of the rushed tutorial. Later, when asked if the car comes in two-wheel drive and four-wheel drive, the spokesmodels don’t speak, but merely continue to stare their beautiful, vapid stares.
PM Theresa doesn’t fare much better in her meet-and-greet. Once situating the guests in the horse-drawn carriage, she runs along side, claiming this is a demonstration of early horsepower. Meanwhile, Tarek’s “putting course” really ends up being some holes in a dry, dusty area of a field and the comedienne they hired (Last Comic Standing's Cory Kahaney) turns out to be vastly inappropriate, opening with a crack about Southerners, then going on to curse, make fun of stupid models and the sport of golf before letting loose a zinger about – to put it a wee bit more delicately than she did – men’s morning wood. (And that last bit was not a reference to golf clubs, if you know what I mean.)
Overall, though Carolyn didn’t love Synergy’s concept, she admits that the dealers seemed to have a good time.
Regarding Gold Rush, Bill deadpans, “I hope the dealers are big drinkers.”
Back in the boardroom, Synergy is criticized for the out-of-line comedienne, a total lack of product knowledge and a sub-par presentation. But, at Synergy’s event, the dealers “did a lot of laughing,” there were “no dead spots,” and one dealer even commented that they “nailed the Tahoe experience.”
With Synergy the clear winner, Trump says, “We deal in a world with very tough business people. We call them sharks” and announces this week’s reward. On the heels of last week’s community service “reward,” this week they get to risk their lives by swimming with 12-foot sharks at Atlantis Marine World.
Yipee.
At Atlantis: Brent’s biggest fear is that he’ll be eaten. His teammates’ greatest hope is that Brent will be eaten. In the end, no one is eaten, rendering this a pretty dull reward.
But the real sharks are circling each other in the boardroom. As Theresa tries to shift the blame, task no-shows Dan and Lee are given a get-of-jail-free card, with little attention on them other than Lenny’s repeated assertion that he, too, is – in fact – Jewish.
Tarek says Theresa was a good sergeant, but not a good general – a statement which people have little time to ponder, as Trump immediately makes a comment about Theresa’s ever-shifting style and she counters with a ballsy comment about his stagnant hairstyle. Watch it with those comments about the combover, honey.
When asked, Lenny states he would fire everyone.
Theresa brings Lenny and Tarek into the boardroom, ultimately shooting herself in the foot for not choosing Charmine, who was clearly the weak link of the week – responsible for hiring both the so-not-funny comedienne (AND paying her the full $1700 after her bomb of a performance) and the beautiful-but-vapid spokesmodels. (I mean, I know they’re supposed to be pretty, and “pretty and smart” is an awfully tall order. But the NAME of their job is “SPOKESmodel.” You think someone could have handed them a script to work off or something.)
So Theresa blames Lenny, while Tarek blames Theresa and Carolyn blames Tarek.
Trump asks, “Lenny, what do I do with these two?”
“Fire ‘em both,” Lenny shoots back, making me want Trump to just hire him on the spot.
Ultimately, Theresa gets fired because just too many things went wrong.
As Theresa mumbles the traditional “Thank you for this opportunity,” Tarek sneaks in a totally unnecessary “I’ll step it up, Mr. Trump.”
Trump replies: “You better step it up,” then pauses before ominously adding “if you can.”
Leading us to this week’s lesson: Though it runs contrary to all human instant, an open bar does not solve all problems.
Until next week,
-Elena
