Print this article E-mail this article More articles by this author

Related Sites: · The Apprentice: Official Site · SirLinksAlot: The Apprentice

When last we met: Theresa was defending her complete and utter lack of class (A horse and buggy as an attraction at a supposed-to-be-swanky car event? Not so much, my friend.). And unsuccessfully so. She was fired, leaving Lenny and Tarek to troop back to the suite.

Upon his arrival, Tarek instantly begins playing mind games, telling Charmaine that Theresa got fired for not bringing her into the boardroom. So Charmine retreats to her budoir, hugging a pillow and crying. There is nary a mascara run. Has this girl come prepared for tears?

But on to this week's task:

The teams are instructed to meet Trump at (who would have guessed?) -- another Trump property. Cut to the breakfast bar at Trump Grille (did I mention the pretentious "e" is a pet peeve of mine? Like people who say "theatre." It's theater,people.), where Trump is extolling the virtues of cereal.

"All they want to hear about is cereal. That's all they want," Trump declares.

What?!? Who?!? Am I missing something?

(And -- personally, I'm more a pancakes-and-waffles kind of girl myself.)

As it turns out, this is not some random declaration that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but instead a clunky segue into this week's task: Designing a new billboard for the latest Post-brand cereal, Post Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch. (Try saying that three times fast.)

So the teams split up and get to work.

Over at Synergy, Brent is all about the weight-loss angle. Ironic much? His ideas are quickly squashed by Project Manager Tammy, who bans him from presenting. (Brent correctly reads "that's not the image we want to present" as code for "you are fat.")

The team ultimately comes up with the concept of a father passing Grape Nut cereal down to his daughter; this is the new generation of Grape Nuts. Okay, so that's pretty good. Tammy and Sean will present (Nice choice, Tam. I'd listen to Sean read the phone book. Seriously, this man has a velvet voice, and if he doesn't win The Apprentice, he could surely be successful doing voiceovers for luxury products or whispering sweet nothings in my ear. You know, either/or.) And Brent will make wardrobe decisions.

Yeah, you heard me. Wardrobe.

When Ivanka shows up, she's skeptical of this. "They're trying to manage Brent by having him do absolutely nothing," she says, predicting their doom. "That's not going to work."

Over at Gold Rush, there is a complete and utter creative draught. "It tastes good," someone throw out. (Thanks, Captain Obvious.) And they're all wearing aprons.

Again -- what? Is this necessary? Am I missing something?

Charmaine, as PM, better hope she wins, as last week's boardroom partially hinged on her poor performance. But, as George comes to observe their brainstorming session, things don't look good. Everyone is talking over Charmaine and our sweet southern honey can barely be heard.

Their ultimate idea? Someone chugging a bowl of cereal. No milk, no nothing. Simply chugging, a la frat boy. Dry cereal. Mmmmmm.

It was nice knowin' ya, Charmaine.

Both teams then hit the streets to search for models. Synergy quickly finds a perfect early-twenty-something candidate for "the daughter,' but are way off the mark for "the dad.' (You're looking for a father-figure, Allie, not a date. Though perhaps for you, they're one and the same. Now is not the time to get into those issues.) A few initial candidates look to be in their mid-30s and the final pick is 44. Yes, it's biologically and chronologically for him to be the father of a 23-year-old, but this is decidedly the wrong image for their billboard.

Gold Rush's Tarek instantly spots the ideal girl-next-door for their cereal chugger and approaches her with "Can I ask you something that is totally shady?" Nice move, Tarek. But the girl somehow agrees (for $200 cash and a free outfit) and they throw her into the van.

At this point, whoever edited this week's episode stopped caring about the task at all. Instead, it was all about the fireworks between Brent and Andrea.

Andrea -- who is put in charge of the graphic because of her expertise -- gripes, "We will lose if Brent is in charge of anything critical."

Brent shoots back with the oh-so-mature, "The only thing I think Andrea is an expert in is being an asshole."

There's a quick flip over to Gold Rush, where Charmaine is taking Bryce to task for abandoning his own idea. He's just not that jazzed about the chugging thing anymore; it didn't turn out the way he envisioned. Charmaine keeps her cool and pushes through. But they're still wearing their aprons.

Seriously: Why?

The next morning, Brent is running late. It's 7:01 and everyone is ready to leave, but Brent is still ironing his pants. When Andrea confronts him about his perpetual tardiness, Brent tells her he saved her ass during her task and calls her an "unappreciative you-know-what." I didn't think she'd do it, but Andrea stoops to his level, comparing her status as a "multi-millionaire" (I'd like to see some tax records, please) while Brent makes a paltry $50K a year (which is still well more than I make. )

At Post for the unveiling, Trump arrives in a helicopter and -- ooooh -- here's Ivanka , luminescent as always, in a lovely blue blazer that compliments her coloring perfectly and a gorgeous salmon shirt.

Gold Rush is wearing their dumb aprons again.

And Synergy has a baby carriage. Something to do with their "next generation concept. But whatever.

Trump is impressed with both billboards as they're unveiled. Charmine prattles on about the "shock factor" of having a female chugging the cereal instead of a guy (but who chugs cereal? I want to scream) and Sean screws up the whole presentation, stuttering and stammering his way through. Trump thinks man in Synergy's next generation ad is "the boyfriend" ("I look like a father," he says. "George looks like a father.") and one of the Post execs says the multi-colored, text-laden ad is too complex.

"Unless you're in a traffic jam, you'd never be able to read that as a billboard," one of the Post execs points out.

Gold Rush is the clear winner. They get a cooking lesson with Jean-Georges, a world-famous chef in the employ of Trump. With the exception of Lenny trying to spruce up the world-famous chef's dishes, it's not terribly exciting.

The real excitement is back at the suite, where Roxanne and Allie are cuddling with Sean (Oh, I am jeeeeealous!). The whole team realizes that it will be hard to get Brent out, as no one will give him any responsibility.

And here is where we see Brent start to crack. "I will be back. Stronger and more powerful than ever," he opines. "I'm a nuclear weapon in that boardroom. KEEP ME OUT OF THAT BOARDROOM, OR YOU"LL BE SORRY."

Okay, Brent. You're like totally scary.

But -- to the boardroom we go.

[Does the intro music for the boardroom sound a bit different this week? There's some sort of choral component I don't remember hearing before that makes it all seem particularly ominous for Brent's anticipated breakdown.]

In the boardroom, the team unites behind Tammy, praising each and every thing about her.

Andrea (unsurprisingly) thinks Tammy did a great job. Roxanne thinks "Tammy was the best project manager we've had yet." Michael thinks she was pretty groovy as well. You can virtually see them all shifting behind her in an attempt to get Brent out.

Brent's asked for his opinion. He again shows the utmost maturity. "I thought Tammy stank as a project manager," Brent asserts. "And it smells over here, Mr. Trump."

Now, I don't want to even say this: But are you sure that's Andrea you're smelling, Brent?

But where were these fireworks I was promised? Yeah, Brent got in a few catty comments, and it was pretty funny watching him get Andrea all riled up, but this was hardly an explosive episode. Trump doesn't even bother to have Tammy pick people to come back into the boardroom or consult his advisors. He fires Brent on the spot, saying, "Out. Over. Go. Go. I don't want to waste anyone's time."

The fastest I've ever seen Brent move is to the cab waiting for him curbside. In his confessional, he declares, "I was the only true leader on Synergy" and alleges the team "didn't give me just desserts."

Oh, I think he's had more than his share of desserts.

Buh-bye, Brent. You won't be missed.