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Last time: Dan was fired, largely for not bringing Lenny to face the firing squad, and he returned to his wife and kids (who I hope were not in fact eaten up, as Dan had promised). Lenny's safe for another week - but he'd better be careful, as the conclusion of last week's boardroom was Trump's threatening message that his clock was ticking.

Oh - and did I mention? Brent Buckman has a bagel diet.You should totally try it out.

Anyway...

Self-appointed project manager Bryce starts this week by declaring, "We've all got to put this behind us," then trying to force his team to work out their differences in a trust-building pow-wow the night before the task. Little progress is made, though, as Tarek immediately labels his teammates "crazy coyotes" trying to take down "the buffalo" (aka Tarek himself, who he seems to dub 'the strongest player). Charmine says that things would be better if he would just listen a little more. Tarek shoots back some sarcasm: "I'm a detriment to the team right now, but I'll change my ways," he sneers. "You got it." And we move on to this week's task.

It's a rainy day in New York City. And it's apparently another Jewish holiday (already?) - Yom Kippur, which Lee eloquently calls "the most holiest day of the entire Jewish calendar." While he plans to spend his day 'reflecting' (anyone care to take the odds that he was really headed to Zabar's. for some nice gravlox?), the rest of the candidates head to Trump Towers.

We're spared the awkward transition to the task this week, as Trump's not required to make any small talk as a segue. And this week's task is truly Trump's expertise: brand building. The man has unabashedly plastered his name over everything he's ever worked on, from his buildings to the ill-fated Trump Ice, and now he wants his candidates to try their hand at making brand-name magic by writing a jingle for roast-beef king Arby's.

Trump's claim to "love their roast beef sandwich" was highly doubtful, but viewers only had a moment to picture him chowing down alongside middle America, as the announcement of the product they'd be promoting this week rapidly followed. And, ladies and gentlemen, it might have been one of the scariest moments in reality television history.

The candidates were told that they'd be jamming about Arby's new line of chicken products called "Chicken Naturals" and the Arby execs were quick to point out the lack of competition in the fast food marketplace. You see, dear reader, Arby's is the only chain offering an "all-natural" chicken product. This news leads me to ask myself, "What the heck is everything else made of?!??!" I mean, I love me some KFC and McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are exactly what the doctor ordered for a hangover. But you're telling me these are not chicken? This is news to me.

My violent shuddering at the range of horrifying possible ingredients subsided enough for me to watch the teams jump to action. Gold Rush's Charmine sets up a 10:15 meeting with the Arby's execs and announces to her team that the meeting is at 10:15. Synergy's sexy Sean has apparently finagled an earlier meeting to which he decides to bring his whole team. Somehow, they're in and out before Gold Rush even shows up, more than half an hour late. Bryce begs off all responsibility, jointly claiming that he didn't know what time the meeting was or even what time it was in general. Someone get this man a watch and a Palm Pilot! Stat!

Synergy's zipping along, coming up with the basis for the jingle in the elevator. Before you know it, they're in the studio whipping up their song. They're laughing, they're dancing. Andrea is in the corner, looking like she's suddenly found herself in an episode of the Twilight Zone and doesn't know quite what to do. But everyone else is having a grand old time. They're jamming, and I even start to head-bop along from my seat on my couch.

Things aren't going quite so smoothly for Gold Rush. They're in the recording studio, too, but are completely and utterly devoid of ideas. Lenny doesn't even know what a jingle is. "Jingle schmingle," he grunts in his Russian-coated grunt. "Whatever it is, I have no idea. To me, this is rocket science." His claim is suspect (you've been in America for -- what is it? -- 14 years? And you don't know what a jingle is?), but at least he's trying (his idea of a cowbell could have totally worked), as PM Bryce is completely out to lunch. Declaring that he knows his strengths and weaknesses and that this task is not one of his strengths, Bryce delegates. Then, he sits back and does absolutely nothing.

Both teams reconvene at the legendary downtown music venue the Knitting Factory (which swiftly loses any and all street cred by allowing those crazy Apprentice kids through its doors) as Trump arrives in his limo. A la P. Diddy's umbrella-wielding Farnsworth Bently, Trump has a man stationed outside the vehicle, ready with an umbrella, to ensure Trump doesn't get a drop of rain on his carefully-constructed coif.

Synergy goes first. They sound great. They've got a clever little hook with a great beat. Trump dances. It's a horrifying sight (his arms and body seem to be moving to entirely different beats), yet a good sign for Synergy.

Watching the performance, Gold Rush is visibly shaking in their collective boots. And they should be, as the own performance is decidedly sub-par. And Trump doesn't dance at all. Not even a single head-bob.

So Synergy's the clear winner, and as such, they're granted a fine dining experience at Alain Ducasse, a schmancy restaurant near Central Park that serves truffles. Now, I'm not sure exactly what a truffle is, but they are -- as Trump points out -- really, really expensive. Which is really all that matters. During dinner, Andrea mopes (seriously -- we haven't heard a peep out of her the entire episode) while the other girls swoon over Sean and his accent.

I think something may be going on between Allie and Sean. I can feel the heat. The bitch.

Somewhere in there is seriously the best commercial ever, in which a wrinkly lady on a red carpet opens her mouth and Joan River's voice comes out. Apparently, Joan has heard about this all-natural chicken sandwich at Arby's and decided to go that route herself. The conclusion is, of course, that it works for chicken, but not so much for Joan. I laughed so hard I fell off the couch. It was just so unexpected. But clever... very clever.

I managed to re-position myself in time for Gold Rush's second team-building meeting of the episode. Bryce starts off by commending them ("You all worked so hard and I'm so impressed") before plunging into a nonsensical non sequitur about how he was raised with real values by his parents. It has nothing to do with anything from my standpoint, but I guess it's touching, as Charmine starts crying. She really hopes no one will be fired.

Oh, Charmine. You really are adorable. Not apprentice material. But positively precious.

And so Gold Rush trudges to the boardroom. Bryce tries to be super-diplomatic and not blame anyone. Except for Lenny, that is, whose crime is not knowing what a jingle was prior to today's task (or so he says). Lee gets some heat about how religion can't be his get-of-out-jail-free card for the second week. Trumps keeps pressing him, "Is it fair?" which Lee neatly side-steps with "this is who I am." At some point, Donald declares "Life sucks," which doesn't seem to be a reference to anything in particular, but which is pretty funny nevertheless.

Bryce decides to bring Lenny and Lee back into the boardroom, as apparently Lenny should be punished for being Russian and Lee for being Jewish.

Charmaine cries some more as she says goodbye to everyone and gets in the elevator to go back to the suite.

Bryce spews out some nonsense about how he was "raised a certain way" -- a way in which "you stand up for decisions you make." Little of it is compelling. And Trump is pissed he can't pick on the self-declared wunderkid, mensa-card-toting Tarek. So he fires Bryce in part because he "hates" that Bryce didn't bring in Tarek and Charmine and in part because he "hates" that they were late to the meeting.

In his cab confessional, Bryce talks about how he was the best. Period. And Bill, Carolyn and Trump will eventually realize it. It's pretty standard fare until his final words: "It wouldn't hurt Trump to listen once in a while."

Oh, Bryce. You may have been booted off the show, but don't talk smack about the man who could have been your boss. I mean, Trump's lesson of the week covered this subject exactly. It's obviously something important to him.

"Command respect," Trump taught. Then he turned around and promptly illustrated his point by yelling at some escalator repairmen.

Until next week,

*Elena