Lost and Delirious: Survivor: Panama - Exile Island - Episode 09: Who Feels the Fire?
by Caroline Roberts
Published: April 14, 2006
Rumors are running wild on the web about who won Exile Island. A better website noted a flurry of activity around one particular player - so much so that the site shut down all betting on Survivor. If you simply must know who the rumored winner is, click here.
Rumors are also circulating among the Gitanos camp with a similar speed. No one is completely certain that Terry has the immunity idol, but everyone is unsettled because Terry is already a powerful guy. Terry wants to make sure that everyone knows he is a powerful guy. Mr. Fighter Pilot can brag like nobody's business.
The ex-Casaya are a little sick of hearing The Never-Ending Adventures of Terry the Fighter Pilot. While sulking with Cirie and Danielle under a tent, Courtney says something utterly ridiculous: "How is any normal American person supposed to be a Navy fighter pilot dude?"
A Navy fighter pilot dude? Courtney, some people might ask, "How is any normal American person supposed to be a fire-dancer/performance artist dude?" How LA can you be?
Danielle reveals that she wasn't sure Terry really had the idol, which appears to be why she didn't join him and Austin last week. She says that he just showed her "some furry thing." Normally, when a man does that in public, he gets arrested.
Since Danielle isn't sure of Terry, she does what comes naturally - she snoops in his bag. This is a black mark against her because Survivor snooping is never cool. People already have zero privacy, so at least leave what little they can keep private alone.
Reward Challenge - Vomit Launch
This week's reward challenge will give the winners a little family time. Jeff lures the Gitanos into a tent, where he shows everyone a video clip of his or her family.
The fact that CBS relies on videotape instead of flying the family members down to Panama suggests a budget crunch. It was great to see the family members camping with winning players - and who can forget the shocking realization that Judd had a hot wife?
While cheap, the videos are cute. The audience meets Bruce's dog, Choco. Shane has a truly touching moment when he sees his son, who he considers both his son and his best friend. But the best part is Aras' wacky dad, who likes to hang out in a teepee in the backyard. How about a father-son Survivor?
To see all the videos and enjoy peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches and milk, two teams of four must hoist one person up in a cradle. Then, the other three players must manipulate that person through a space as they pick up flags and insert the flags into small slots. Whichever team grabs the flags wins. The teams are as follows:
Team One: Courtney in the cradle, Bruce, Sally, Terry
Team Two: Danielle in the cradle, Aras, Cirie, Shane
In the challenge, poor Courtney and Danielle are spun around, lifted, and dropped in a truly nauseating manner. Being in the cradle isn't for those who are easily car sick. It's a good thing that Courtney and Danielle haven't eaten in a while, or their fellow Gitanos would be sprayed with vomit.
Courtney manages to collect all the flags and win victory for her team. They get to enjoy their sandwiches and milk - as long as they're not lactose-intolerant - and watch the rest of their family videos.
What's White and Tattooed and Red All Over?
Aras gets exiled, which is to be expected because even the rest of his Casaya buddies were getting sick of him after he went ape last week. But Cirie and Danielle get the real treat when they return to camp with Shane. He says the following immortal words to Cirie:
"I have an issue with my penis."
This is the last thing you want to hear when stranded on an island with someone. But Cirie has to look at Shane's irritated manhood because she is a nurse.
Luckily, the audience doesn't see what Cirie does thanks to lots of blurring of Shane's lap region. Cirie is able to diagnose the matter quickly - Shane has diaper rash of the testicles. If you wore wet swimsuit bottoms for three weeks, you'd probably feel the same.
Lots of credit goes to Shane as well because Cirie can't stop laughing at the whole situation. Most men would flip out if a woman laughed at their privates, but he seems to handle it well. Cirie says, "Shane is like a cartoon character, and now he's like a nude cartoon character."
Immunity Challenge - Salt Water or Salty Fries?
The winning Gitanos return from their PB&J party with luxury items. Terry has an American flag, Sally has a journal, Bruce has his sketchbook, and Courtney has her … uh … fire-dancing gadgets.
But those luxuries won't mean much if someone gets voted off. Naturally, the tribe outsiders, Sally and Terry, want immunity. Even if Terry really has the idol, he'd still love to rub Aras' nose in it, and if Sally doesn't get immunity, she'll go home for sure. Aras also feels unsure because he appears to have realized that he alienated his teammates, and the only reason they're keeping him around is so they can pluck him off later.
Since these three are in trouble, it's hardly a surprise when that they choose to participate in the immunity challenge instead of eating the cheeseburgers Jeff offers them. In the challenge, Sally, Terry, and Aras must swim out in the ocean, dive under, look at a series of symbols, and then replicate those symbols in a puzzle on dry land. The cheeseburger-eaters get to stuff themselves until someone wins the challenge.
And who wins the challenge? Terry. This is his third win in a row, so maybe he does have just cause to brag. But the best part of the challenge is seeing what happens when Jeff makes all the others stop eating their cheeseburgers. Shane freezes with his cheeks stuffed full of burgers and fries, not to mention an onion dangling from his mouth.
Tribal Council - Jeff Wags His Finger
Since Terry won immunity, Sally knows she is in a world of hurt if he either a) doesn't give the idol to her or b) never had it in the first place. She tries to work on the Casaya women, and Terry tries once more with the impervious Bruce. Terry plays with something in a bag, and Bruce thinks he may have seen the idol, but the audience doesn't. No matter. Terry has everyone scared of him.
Terry and Sally discover a Casaya weak spot in Courtney. The fire dancer thinks that she could beat Terry if she were in the final two. But she doesn’t think about it much because she's more interested in fire dancing. Before tribal council, Terry grumbles to Sally about Courtney's waffling: "She's doing her fire thing - make a freakin' decision!"
Tribal Council is all abuzz with Terry and his rumored double immunity. The ever-eloquent Shane says, "The guy is a 47-year-old beast!"
Danielle isn't as respectful and thinks he's cocky: "It's all about Terry, Terry, Terry!"
When Danielle whines, Jeff gives her a good dose of his wagging finger, and no one can give a lecture like Jeff Probst: "Is that part of the problem? That you can't beat [Terry] and it frustrates you?" He seems to be almost on the verge of yelling, "A stable alliance isn't good for ratings, you twits!"
Jeff is sick of the six, and so are Sally and Terry. Despite all of their efforts to break up this junior-high school clique, it's no dice, and Sally's torch is snuffed.
Next week: Bruce appears to have a medical problem that isn't nearly as funny as Shane's penis problem.