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Last week, Lee escaped the chopping block as Leslie was fired for poor choice of the price point. (Seriously, Leslie. I'm sorry it was your birthday and all, but I still don't get this $7.99 for one sandwich/$8.99 for two deal.)

And - while I'm at it - the idea of a P'eatzza is still giving me the heebie jeebies two weeks later. But I digress.)

When this week's episode opens, the safe candidates are up in the suite wondering just who will come trekking back from the boardroom. "Maybe I'm just dumb, but ...," Charmaine says to hedge her bet, believing whole-heartedly that Leslie will come back.

When it's Lee who returns instead, sweet Charmine curses, realizing simultaneously that she should probably steer clear of starting her sentences with the aforementioned phrase and that opening her mouth moments before departing the boardroom to diss Lee maybe wasn't such a good idea.

"The want to see me be project manager next time," Lee declares once the not-so-Synergistic team has convened.

"They said that?" Tarek asks, immediately defensive with anyone trying to swipe his alpha-male spot.

Well, not in so many words. But somehow Lee hoists himself up into the Project Manager's hot seat anyway.

On this week's task, Trump has recruited his very own children as his watchdogs. (I caught no mention of the whereabouts of George and Carolyn, but - alas - such is nepotism. Just sneak in those youngsters when the geezers aren't looking.) I'm not really digging Donald Jr. (he looks concurrently concerned about his hair and the silver spoon lodged up his behind), but Ivanka looks/is amazing/radiant/brilliant as per usual.

After introducing the kiddies (who really require no introduction, if we're going to be honest. And if I hear one more time that they both graduated from Wharton, I might gag. We know. We get it.), Trump talks about how millions of people have slept in the lap of luxury at the Trump International Hotel & Tower and how - coincidentally - millions of people have come to America through Ellis Island.

Cause they both, like - you know - tooootally have to do with each other.

And after trying to remember the famed Emma Lazarus poem in its entirety (Hmmm. Something about wanting both the tired and the poor -- though, are they not really one and the same? - and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Something, something tempest-tost to me. That's all I got.), I decide to look it up.

Ah. There we go:

Give me your tired, your poor, / Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. / The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. / Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me. / I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

And so, imbued with patriotic pride, I decide to go check out what has been (questionably) held up as a symbol of the American dream: Trump's luxury hotel. And let me tell you: it's swanky. Just looking at the website, I can feel those high-count sheets rubbing against my skin. And there's some pretty sexy background music. (Seriously. Go check it out. I wouldn't lie to you.)

But I've gotten off topic. Pardon me for the foray into nonsense, but this week's episode was seriously sub-par and I had trouble paying attention. But let's get to it:

The candidates are charged with creating and selling a souvenir of program of Ellis Island. Proceeds will go to maintenance of the island and the Statue of Liberty. Lee, as mentioned before, will be project manager for Gold Rush, and Allie's grabbing the helm for Synergy. (She claims Ellis Island is important to her. I think it's just another ploy to continue her stay in our recent GreenCard recipient Sean.)

Lee and Charmaine stay behind to do bulk sales while the rest of the candidates go over to Ellis Island. Gold Rush commences snapping photos while things don't go so smoothly for Synergy. Allie sends Tammy on a tour to learn more information for their brochure, which Andrea thinks is a waste of time. And she doesn't mind telling Allie that: "What I'm recommending is that you come up with an organized plan of what everyone needs to be doing." Geez, Andrea. You know Allie's not my favorite person, what with her sexing up my boyfriend Sean and all. So I'd be the last to needlessly defend her. But, if you'd just shut up for one darn minute, maybe she could get some work done. Seriously.

So, pictures taken, both teams get set to head back to the Isle of Manhattan. Except Tammy has forgotten her notebook. Which had pages and pages of notes from the tour. So Tammy and Allie get off the boat, which promptly takes off without them.

Oops.

But Andrea's wildest dream has now come true. She's back in charge. Too bad that, when Allie finally rolls in - two hours later - she hates what Andrea did. (Again, the bitch is justified, though. Andrea's brochure has this strange, photoshoped, disembodied Statue of Liberty floating oddly in the water.) After some tension, Andrea huffs off, leaving Allie to flip her pretty blonde hair and attempt to fix the mistake.

Gold Rush is really a one-man ship as well. Only it's not steered at all by PM Lee, as he has no opinions. Even the visiting Ivanka notes his heavy leaning on Tarek to come up with vision. And Charmine certainly isn't trying her best, as she doesn't want the team to win under Lee's leadership since he's not doing a darned thing.

The next morning, Gold Rush rises early. Waking at 5am, they make it to Battery Park where tourists are waiting in line for the ferry to Ellis Island. When Synergy shows up much later, to find that Gold Rush has already poached their targets - and with clearly superior brochures - they pretty much realize that the game is over. Still, they play along, hopping the ferry to Ellis Island to hit up the tourists there. (The majority of whom have come across by boat, right? From Battery Park? And, thus, already been hit up by Gold Rush? But whatever. I think they should be more concerned with their ridiculously cartoonish American-flag ties. What is up with the gimmicky outfits this season?)

As Gold Rush picks up a bulk sale from a phone call placed the day before, selling 100 brochures in one pop, Synergy's Andrea wanders around spewing nonsense. "It tells a wonderful story of the emotional rollercoaster," she tells a potential buyer. She obviously lacks the schmoozing factor to sell well in person, but then brags to Allie about how she rakes in a few million dollars a year doing bulk sales.

Well, you didn't think to mention that before, Andrea?

Back in the boardroom, the prognosis does not look good for Synergy. Allie knows it, admitting to Trump that she's not confident. And her insecurities are justified, as Synergy pulls in $848 in sales, while Gold Rush more than doubles that.

Gold Rush goes off to play a round of golf with hot shot golfer Vijay Singh at Trump National Golf Course in beautiful Bedminster, NJ.

Lee has a pretty good swing, but comes off an idiot when he talks about how he "looks amazing" and how this is "exactly how [he] scripted" things so he could win and then spend some leisure time with The Donald. He also comes up with a seriously lame slogan: "Winning: The best remedy for feeling like crap."

Lee! Please. Stop. Talking. For. One. Darn. Moment.

Trump is wearing a baseball cap and looking generally ridiculous. But at least Tarek rightfully draws Singh's consistency in the game as something they should all apply to business. Maybe this Mensa kid's got a little Trump-esque-ness in him after all…

The ensuing Synergy showdown is really the best thus far. Which isn't saying all that much. But it's far greater than the blink-and-you-missed-it Brent Buckman blow-up from a few weeks back.

For, you see: Andrea claims she counted her money at noon and had made $110. So these allegations of her sub-par sales skills are unjustified. Then she claims she's certain she made $210 by the end of the day. Then, she admits that that figure is really "$210 thereabouts." She overhears the rest of the Synergy chicks trying to convince Sean to turn on her. That ol' stand-just-outside-the-doorless-room-and-spy reality tv trick. (Gotta employ that old standby. Good job, Andrea.) There is a confrontation. Andrea leaves in a huff and goes to nosh on some peanuts.

When Andrea leaves, the other girls prepare for battle. "We will tear her apart," Allie vows, gaining my undying love in one quick swoop. "It will be the ugliest boardroom Trump's ever seen." She's really growling now. "There will be blood on the walls," she snarls. "There will be blood on the walls. There will be F***ing blood everywhere."

Oh, Allie. I've never been prouder of you.

Then, to the boardroom. The girls (predictably) launch into Andrea. Andrea says they're only targeting her because she's such a threat. Sean says he'd fire Allie (and that fling dies with a bang and not a whimper) as Allie treads dangerously close to having to admit the fiasco with missing the boat.

Roxanne is commended for being a great speaker (I concur) while I have trouble averting my eyes from Andrea's disaster of an outfit. Redheads shouldn't wear that shade of pink, dear. And who wears a turtleneck under a blazer like that anway?

Andrea is ultimately fired - not for her fashion faux pas - but for destroying the chemistry of the team. But I have my suspicions Trump knows that the Allie/Sean affair is over and sees his chance for some quality flirting with the fair-haired one.

In other news, Sandra Kaminsky from Woodbridge, VA won $10,000 in some text-messaging contest this week where people text who they think will be fired and, of the people who get it right, a winner is chosen.

I'm thrilled for Sandra and hopes she enjoys her nice chunk of change. But I can't help feeling bitter.

That could have been me. If only I could figure out how to work my stupid new Razr phone.

Stupid Razr. With your stupid user-unfriendly interface and no battery power. You just cost me 10 Gs.

But alas.

Until next week, folks,

*Elena

Past Recaps: Episode 01 | Episode 02 | Episode 03 | Episode 04 | Episode 05 | Episode 06 | Episode 07 | Episode 08