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Related Sites: · Official Site · Sirlinkalot: Obscure Reality Shows Stan Lee with his cast of superheroes wannabes.

Okay, I really revealed my "inner geekdom" on that last one, didn't I?

Stan Lee

It's guys like me that make up the intended audience for the Sci Fi Channel's "surreality" series, Who Wants to Be a Superhero? The six-week competition culminates in the champion being immortalized in a one-shot comic book written by Stan Lee, and the winning character will be featured in a Sci Fi Channel original movie. Did I mention Stan Lee? That's right, the 83-year-old Marvel Comic patriarch himself hosts the proceedings. Along with Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko, Lee created some of the most enduring comic book characters who have, most recently, expanded their realm to motion pictures (Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Fantastic Four, X-Men). The guy is a personality unto himself, who needs no introduction to seasonal comic book readers.

Thousands auditioned to be on the show, and Lee (via huge wall-mounted flat-screen) had to endure quite a vast range of, er... talent. We only get a couple of minutes of this and I wish they'd taken more time to wallow in this process. Instead, we get a few highlights, like the would-be contestant who apparently is rattling off his character's weaknesses, and concludes by saying, "I'm also in fear of my mother, being a Jewish superhero." Another explains her powers thus: "I have some kick-ass martial art skills, but for distraction purposes," she says while untying her bikini, "I like to fight topless." The reactive look on Stan's face was, well, priceless. Finally, it's not just about the costume. "My name is Ice Bitch," intones a buxom beauty. "And what about a catch phrase?" asks Stan. "Freeze, mother (bleep)!" I guess you just had to be there.

Cast

Matthew Atherton, aka	Nel Wilson, aka	Darren Passarello, aka	Tonatzin Mondragon, aka
Feedback	Fat Momma	Nitro G	Lemuria
Steel Chambers, aka	Mary Votava, aka	Chris Watters, aka	Chelsea Weld, aka
The Iron Enforcer	Monkey Woman	Major Victory	Cell Phone Girl
E. Quincy Sloan, aka	Tonya Kay, aka	Tobias Trost, aka	Jonathan Finestone, aka
Ty'Veculus	Creature	Levity	Rotiart

Stan somehow extracts a dozen quality choices, and we're off and running. Each is delivered to a mansion, and we're introduced, a la "The Bachelor", to their alter egos, and what motivated them to try-out for the competition. Far Momma stood out from the crowd as a 43-year-old single mother who works at home and gets her powers from doughnuts (though diet soda, she claims, weakens her powers). She trumpets, "I'm going to rid the world of bullies, one doughnut at a time!" Other than her, the rest of the females were hot and scantily-clad, including Lemuria, who was voted in as a contestant (by horny teenage boys, obviously) through SCIFI.COM. Of the male contingent, the impetus ranged from notable sincerity (Major Victory says, "I used to be a male exotic dancer, which took a toll on my relationship with my daughter," and strives to be her hero) to craziness (Feedback says, "I couldn't get time off, so I quit my job to be on this show.")

And what do superheroes do when they're all gathered in one room? Why, party, of course! So, the reverie is on, complete with dancing a spanking conga line, until Stan appears on the omnipresent video screen to tell them this is serious business and reprimands them for behavior unbecoming of a superhero. He informs them they will be taken to a "secret lair" which will be their base of operation for the duration of the contest. The superheroes are taken by super-stretch Hummer limousine to a rundown warehouse, but before entering, Stan informs them that one of them is a spy and that one of them will not be invited up to the secret lair. That's right, the portly Kevin Smith look-a-like whose silvery costume looks to be held on by duct tape (Red Green would be proud) rips the name designator off his chest, revealing that Rotiart spelled backwards is traitor!

Oh, this is good stuff. We go to suspenseful commercial break (each of which is executed with a cool rotoscope freeze-frame).

Through hidden camera footage, the incriminating evidence is shown for three contestants. Levity's alter ego makes his own custom action figures and hopes to make big money selling replicas of his secret identity, should he win. Creature is shown flirting with every man that walks through the door. Hey, what's wrong with that? She hot, and at least it's not the females! The Iron Enforcer talks a lot about killing people with his big gun. Levity is ultimately vanquished for his selfishness (and, apparently, because you can't have a homosexual superhero). He's asked to turn in his costume at the Garbage Can of Failure, and, with cheesy lighting effects implicitly signify its destruction, Levity is eliminated. One condemned freight elevator ride later, the remaining contestants get to their decked-out concealed headquarters, or, as Major Victory describes it, "a superhero's wet dream."

The group is taken to Pershing Square in downtown Los Angeles in their street clothes, carrying duffle bags with their costumes. The challenge will be to find a place to change into their costumes away from public scrutiny, then race to a pre-determined finish line. They are given "secret communicators" that look amazingly like Blackberrys, and each in turn is signaled by Stan to commence. Some are more creative than others in finding a place for their switcheroo, and some are simply gawked at by stunned passers-by from their not-so-concealed locations. Among the most creative was Ty'Veculus pulling a porta-potty away from a wall to change behind it, and Monkey Woman staying true to her character and climbing a tree to put on her banana-belt bikini. Creature changing in a trash can was not so creative.

As each races to the finish line, a little girl has been planted in their path who plaintively cries out that she's lost her mother and needs help. We get ominous slow-motion repeated shots of contestants who zoom past her without assisting. All but one of the females stop to help. Fat Momma, in particular, compassionately directs her to a security office, before rumbling to the finish line, donuts flying off her belt. Major Victory seems to be the only one self-aware, as he hams it up to people (and cameras) he passes on the way to the finish line. His attention to those around him causes him to literally stumble upon the young girl in distress. He invites her to climb in his arms so he can whisk her off to safety. I don't want to think of the real-life implications of this scenario, so let's move on.

Gathered that evening on a rooftop, the contestants are addressed by Stan via billboard across the street. He feigns disgust toward those who blew by the kid in distress and reiterates that this competition is not about how high you can fly, or what other super powers you may possess, but will focus on inner character traits such as honesty and integrity. He invites three forward to step upon the Red Cubes of Fate: The Iron Enforcer, Money Woman, and Nitro G. Each is asked to convince Stan why they should be kicked out. All come up with pretty lame "I'm sorry, I won't let you down again" excuses. All have compelling reasons to be ousted: The Iron Enforcers is already on thin ice with his bloodlust attitude, Monkey Woman cries at the slightest provocation, and Nitro G exhibits a less-than-confident posture with his arms feebly crossed. Stan ultimately decides that for his blatant changing into costume in complete public view, Nitro G is eliminated.

There's just enough quirkiness and snappy banter (Major Victory echoes his catch phrase to "be a winner – not a weiner" when asked about lessons learned during this week's competition) to keep this interesting until the end. Cheesy and charming, Who Wants to Be a Superhero? could easily come across as a freak sideshow, but it has heart, with an affectionate moral center that displays why we love superheroes in the first place.