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Related Sites: · Official Site · Sirlinkalot: Obscure Reality Shows Stan Lee with his cast of superheroes wannabes.

From the depths of Stan Lee's Super-Villain Makeover Van emerged a nemesis for our contestants, forged from the empty carcass of the ousted, trash-talking Iron Enforcer. Cue the ominous music! Discharge the roiling smoke! Backlight for maximum portentousness! It's Stan Lee's newest creation... the Dark Enforcer! So ended last week's episode of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

After a recap of last week's events, Stan interrupts a little superhero house cleaning as Monkey Woman hangs on the furniture to dusty those pesky high spots, and Lemuria heroically cleans the toilet seat... with her booted foot. Try to get that image out of your head during your next fantasy. Stan looks upon the assembled group from his video screen and explains that superheroes are defined by their villains. "Batman has the Joker," I can't believe I'm hearing Stan say. What are you doing plugging DC Comics characters?! Ah, but then he puts in a word for his own Marvel creations, "Spider-Man has the Green Goblin." Then, with all the wizardry a low-budget reality series can muster, the Dark Enforcer makes his dramatic entrance to stand before the stunned superheroes. From this point on, Stan tells them, "nothing will be exactly as it seems." Those paying attention to that last tidbit will propel themselves further on into the competition. Those that don't will be kissing their costumed capers goodbye.

Cast

Matthew Atherton, aka Feedback	Nel Wilson, aka Fat Momma	Tonatzin Mondragon, aka Lemuria	Mary Votava, aka Monkey Woman
Chris Watters, aka Major Victory	E. Quincy Sloan, aka Ty'Veculus	Tonya Kay, aka Creature	Stan Lee

In the aftermath of meeting their teammate-turned-rival, the contestants retreat to the kitchen to engage in some good-natured bickering. Okay, actually, it's pretty mean-spirited. Fat Momma and Lemuria are having a shouting match, and the latter's "bitch meter" is starting to register activity. Stan breaks up their little soirée by sending them out to get lunch. In costume, one by one, they'll select a meal, and Stan will decide which is befitting a superhero. The stakes are enormous. Get the "wrong" condiments on that side salad, and Stan "The Man" could have you eating crow.

Task completed, the contestants gather for Stan's judgment. This time, he's joined by the dastardly Dark Enforcer on an adjoining video monitor. What's a superhero never to do?, asks Stan. "Never give up your secret identity." The deceitful Dark Enforcer has placed hidden cameras in the restaurant, and the assembled group looks on nervously. Ty'Veculus is shown first and, reluctantly, he divulges his real name. Not spoken, however, but written down for the pretty young waitress, as if providing the means to add his telephone number, should she ask for it. Feedback is stronger-willed: "I can't disclose my secret identity." Creature, ever-giggling, gives up her real name right away, and works on giving up more than that as she shamelessly flirts with the young stud waiter. Lemuria tells her real name when asked. Major Victory informs the restaurant staff that "as a human" he's known as Chris. He realizes his blunder and comments later -- a twist on his motto -- "Today I was a wiener -- not a winner!" Fat Momma revealed her purpose for being a superhero, but not her secret identity. Finally, our tree-climbing cutie introduces herself as "Monkey Woman, aka Mary Votava." Taking her removal from character one step further, she provides the waiter, a fellow aspiring actor, with web sites that list casting calls. Major Victory concludes the challenge by declaring, "I have a new name: Major Dumb Ass!"

It's time to vanquish a would-be hero, and Stan singles out Monkey Woman for giving up her secret identity without even being asked. Stan is livid (well, you know, in a paternal, contrived way) to find out she's an actress, and that she lied to Stan during the auditions and said she was a real estate agent. By Stan's disgusted look, you would have thought she just disclosed she was a lawyer. As the Garbage Can of Failure is placed next to her, she starts to grovel, but it's no use. "Honesty is the number one trait of a superhero," Stan imparts, and Monkey Woman is eliminated.

For the second challenge, nerves will be tested. Stan directs them to the roof, where a blonde, mini-skirted hottie is yelling for help from the roof of the next building over, smoke billowing disquietingly all around her. Major Victory breaks the heroes' silence by informing the distressed dandy that help will soon be on the way. To rescue her, they must traverse a narrow wooden beam places across the chasm between them. No safety net or harness will be provided -- just a thin rope with which they can guide themselves back and forth. We break for an opportunity for our contestants to get themselves psyched up for the challenge -- or good and scared, depending on their disposition. Ty'Veculus helps that along by informing that his alter ego as a firefighter required thirteen weeks of training to perform a feat such as this. Thanks, buddy.

Individually, they are recalled to the roof, where the devious Dark Enforcer adds a twist -- they are to be blindfolded! Now, I would think this would make things a lot easier if you can't see down! In reality (and I use that term oh-so-loosely), it's a big fake-out. Once blindfolded, they are led to a similar wooden beam situated two inches off the ground, thirty feet from certain death. Lemuria is quite vocal about her fear of heights, and inches her way across, until, "It starts blowing like a frickin' hurricane" (courtesy of the despicable Dark Enforcer, and a wind machine). Major Victory takes this obstacle a little more in stride: "I hope this doesn't mess up my hair." Fat Momma offers the victim a donut for power before leading her back across to safety.

Each contestant successfully completes the task. Reactions are shown as they remove their blindfold to witness the deception. The fetching victim is still on the roof of the adjoining building, and her twin sister is the one that was rescued. Ty'Veculus had the best response when confronted with the prospect of twin hotties: "I couldn't believe when I saw not just one but two. It was... wow." Yep, that pretty much would have summed up my reaction. Feedback feels cheated, and wants Stan to test him for real, because there's nothing that will keep him from winning this competition.

Stan gathers his dwindling flock for the final elimination. He congratulates them on all completing the challenge, but one must still be weed out. So, he decides, he'll do this one a little different. Each contestant will choose one of their own who they think isn't superhero material, and explain their decision. Creature quickly chirps in that she'd like to go first. She sees them all as superheroes and she doesn't feel up to their standards, so she selects herself to leave. Stan looks on pensively. Major Victory is up next, and he picks... himself! Whattr'ya, nuts? Ty'Veculus is the first with the cojones to make a non-navel-gazing selection. He chooses Lemuria because (he doesn't like her) he feels she was a bit extreme in wanting to finish the last challenge, when her acrophobia could have literally been the death of her. Feedback picks himself because he's too serious about all this, and everyone else is having fun with it. Lemuria pick herself because... it's the popular thing to do! Fat Momma struggles mightily with having to make a decision until she's gently prodded along by Stan. For his own sake, she would vote for Feedback because he is devastated, devastated by every failure.

Of course, Stan was looking for the attribute of self-sacrifice. Up on the Rooftop of Elimination, Stan invites onto the Red Cubes of Fate the only two people who found fault beyond themselves. Stan can't test the sincerity of the others choosing themselves, and he doesn't think Ty'Veculus chose Lemuria for expulsion for the right reasons. Fat Momma, on the other hand, seemed to make her decision based on compassion. Ty'Veculus' helmet, which only allows him to hear the truth, ought to be throbbing right about now. The writing's on the wall, and, sure enough, he's asked to turn in his costume. Ty'Veculus is eliminated and, as he deposits his costume in the Garbage Can of Failure, Major Victory once again takes the initiative. He instigates a group hug, one that's conspicuously missing Lemuria.

Fat Momma is pretty crushed by Ty'Veculus' departure. She was brutally honest in her assessment of who should go, when asked by Stan, and lets the rest of them know she thinks their "noble" decision to pick themselves was fake. We get more cat fighting between Lemuria and Fat Momma. A few attitudes will need to be adjusted if certain individuals in hot golden garb wish to continue on. Fat Momma swears vengeance for Ty'Veculus' fate. Apparently, the world's her bully.

Previously turned in their costumes

Tobias Trost, aka Levity	Darren Passarello, aka Nitro G	Chelsea Weld, aka Cell Phone Girl	Steel Chambers, aka The Iron Enforcer

Past Recaps: Week 1 | Week 2