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by Paul Phillips Published: August 14, 2006
Last week, I had the realization that Erika is a big-time bore. So I found this interesting. In the diary room Erika comments: "Being nominated started a fire within me." A very quiet fire. More like…a flicker. Or a tiny ember. "I was gonna fight like hell to win that HOH and I was not gonna give up until I won." For the first several weeks, I don’t think Erika appeared once without her hair and makeup done. Boy, do I miss those days. Lately Erika’s been going natural…and let’s just say it’s not a good look for her. In this diary room interview, Erika’s wearing no makeup, and her hair is a giant, moppy mess. If you know they’re filming a close-up of you, Erika, for God’s sake put your face on. This "endurance" challenge is so agonizing that the houseguests start cracking jokes to entertain themselves. They call the slime "spider sperm", and Will and James do Howie imitations: "Big Boy like spider sperm!" Howie, too dumb to realize they’re laughing at him, not with him, eagerly repeats: "Big Boy like spider sperm!" After weeks of watching Howie try to play doctor with Will, I’m thinking Big Boy like human sperm as well. I’ve named the next segment: "Howie’s Big Brother Journey to Obesity". You might recall, last week this very observant writer noted that Howie appears to be gaining a good three pounds a week. This week, everyone else is noticing too (but you heard it here first). James comments that Howie ate "6 gallons of ice cream and 8 pounds of cheese". Will adds that Howie "eats hot dogs like tic tacs". And I don’t think they’re exaggerating. Says George: "Howie…that man can eat some food. I make him four, count ‘em, four phillie steak sandwiches." I see George is back to being the house Slave. And they show Howie eating—count ‘em—four of these sandwiches. Sweet Jesus. I can pack food away with the best of them, but even I could only eat maybe two of those. Says Will: "Howie’s caloric intake exceeds that of any human. It’s on the level of a hippopotamus." I’m not sure Will should be taking shots at anyone’s weight—he’s at the other extreme. He’s got the waist of a 10 year-old girl. Of Will’s cracks about his blubbery self, Howie says, "He feels threatened. Like I’m gonna eat him." Or rape him. Howie does what he calls the "Big Boy" dance, which consists of shaking your fat ass, flailing your arms around and moving jerkily with your white-boy lack of rhythm. It’s like being at the Special Olympics. Danielle has a heart to heart with Howie: "You’ve been eating a lot of food. You want me to be honest with you? Looks like you put on some pounds. You’ve been eating ice cream all the time. You stuff your mouth with M&M’s. You’ve been eating uncontrollably." Later, Danielle comments: "I saw him consume a whole bag of chips." Uh...what’s wrong with that? Never thought I’d defend Howie, but I think Danielle is overreacting. Howie’s eating all the time because THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO DO. We only see three hours of Big Brother every week, and even then the Sunday show can be a little slow. Imagine being there 24/7. Yes, Howie’s got a paunch, the beginning of man-boobies, and a double chin. But this is hardly life-threatening. Considering everything he’s eating, it’s a miracle he’s not bigger. I wish I had his metabolism. Howie appreciates Danielle’s concern, and says he’ll work out harder, and watch what he eats. But he notes, "It is a little bit tempting and hard to stay away from the ice cream and M&M’s and candies and chocolates. I love it." Hey, if Howie keeps gaining he can be on next season’s Celebrity Fit Club. Will, of course, throws the challenge. But he gets a rotten egg. Serves him right! The two-hour mark comes, and no one else has dropped out. Because it’s SO EASY. Janelle (who, as outgoing HOH, can’t compete), announces it’s time to take the competition to the All-Star level. The players can only hang on with their arms and legs—they have to keep their head and torso under the web. NOW it’s a competition. Within 20 minutes or so, most of them drop out. Soon only one egg remains, and it has the "no slop for a week" pass. George, of course, has been on the slop for about two weeks now. Everyone encourages him to go get the pass, but the stubborn little guy won’t give up. Marcellas can’t hold on anymore, drops, and gets the pass. George falls out a few minutes later. In the diary room he says, "I’m not a quitter. I don’t give up until I absolutely can’t do it anymore." To paraphrase Taylor Hicks, Yes, Georgie, you make me proud. It’s down to Howie, Danielle and Erika. Erika ("I’m a Pilates instructor") could hang there all day, but Howie and Dani are struggling. This was a great moment: Danielle realizes she can’t hold on anymore. One leg drops…but then she digs deep, and finds the strength to keep going: "No I’m not", Dani snarls, and she pulls that leg up and hangs on. Danielle wins the "Tylenol Push Through the Pain" Award this week. Howie’s not faring as well. He screams in pain as he clutches the web. Hey, it can’t be easy to hold up all that weight. Later Howie says, "I was upside down. The sweat starting going in my eyes. The spider webs were digging my arteries, my veins, my everything." Sounds unpleasant. Danielle wants this HOH bad, and she tries to persuade Howie to drop: "You’re safe. Let go, please. We swear." The look on Janelle’s face was priceless. She knows if Howie doesn’t win HOH, she’s going on the block. She’s REAL nervous. "Hold on, Howie," she implores. In the diary room, Howie notes: "This HOH competition was tailor made for Beefcake Hurricane Jedi Howie. And, uh, this was the event for me to step up." Even Howie seems to realize that his alliance has been carrying him. Can he step up? Can he prove he’s not worthless? Nope. Howie lets go, and hits the mat with a resounding, Earth-shaking thud. I think I felt it all the way here in New York. Erika gives the competition to Danielle (smart move—let Danielle do the dirty work). Danielle triumphantly screams: "I’m the Black Widow!" Yay Danielle! Later Will, hobbling around, announces: "My back is absolutely killing me." When Boogie won last week’s veto challenge, Will excitedly picked him up…and threw out his back. Will should just thank his lucky stars he didn’t pick up Howie. His spine probably would’ve snapped. Kaysar offers to stretch Will, and crack his back. Will lies on his back. Kaysar gets practically on top of him and twists his torso. It’s hard to describe, but if you saw it you know what I’m trying to describe. Kaysar’s one hand is on Will’s thigh, the other is real close to Will’s hairless genitals. Kaysar notes, "I saw someone do this once." Where? A gay porn film? In the diary room Kaysar, embarrassed, recounts: "At first I was twisting him and it was just getting real awkward. He didn’t have a shirt on and he was just laying there. It was just weird." As Will lies beneath Kaysar, he says: "It’s very homosexual. It’s making me feel really uncomfortable. Like I’m gonna get touched by a man in my bathing suit area." I gotta say, the game stuff is all well and good, but it’s the little moments like this that make Big Brother so special. In the diary room, Will says of Kaysar: "I’m not sure where he went to chiropractic school but I bet it wasn’t in the United States, if you know what I’m saying." I feel like I should be getting tired of Will’s self-obsessed, smarmy, aren’t-I-cute charm. But not yet. He is just so much fun to watch. Big Brother treats the houseguests to pizza. Everyone is loving it…except poor old George. George lays in bed, all by himself, so sad and pathetic. He buries his head in his hands—he looks like he’s losing it. I don’t blame him. Being on slop must be hard. You’re trapped in the house with nothing to do but eat…and you’re not allowed. Even if the slop is nutritionally sound, going without real food must really wear a person down, physically and mentally. Marcellas is hardly the selfless, giving type. But even he feels bad for George. He offers George the slop pass. But George won’t take it. "I can’t. I made a deal. You keep it." If that was me, I’d be giving Marcellas anything he wanted, up to and including my tight virgin ass, in exchange for that slop pass. But George is a man of his word: he made a deal to go on slop, and he wants to honor that deal. Tell me, how can you not love this man? Marcellas won’t take no for an answer: "Take it. I’m serious. I want you to have it. I’m leaving it. It’s yours." George stares at the slop pass for a long time…then finally takes it. He pulls Marcellas into a tearful, grateful hug. In the diary room George notes: "It was a gift that I needed at that time. That’s one of the nicest things that anybody could’ve done. You remember certain things in your life of just actual kindness and that’s one of the things I always will remember." At the end of this segment, where was I? In a puddle. Seriously, I was sitting on my couch in tears. Did anyone else have the same reaction? Or do I need some help? Last week, James was furious at Janelle for what he perceived as lying to him and betraying their alliance. How great was it to finally see Season 6 fall apart? This week, James is still pissed. "Janelle went after Diane out of pure stupidity and now the entire house is gunning for Janelle. Her idiotic nominations last week kind of set the stage for her potential downfall this week." And then he adds: "This Anna Nicole Smith wannabe is probably the dumbest person to ever play this game." OH NO HE DIDN’T. When Janelle gets out of the house and hears that, she’s NEVER going to forgive James. I’ve said some…well, less than kind things about Janelle. I’ve made fun of her weight, and her bleached-blond hair…but even I never went there. Seeing as Janey could use a friend right now, I’m going to write something nice about her: she’s not nearly as fat, or as trashy as Anna Nicole Smith. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t exactly nice. Baby steps. James very cleverly plays Season 6, letting them think he’s still with them even as he works with Danielle (they name their alliance the "Legion of Doom". I like it). And no one in Season 6 seems to realize James has turned on them. Danielle tells James her plan: She wants to put him up with Janelle. Dani needs to make sure Janelle doesn’t get the veto, and James, last year’s "Veto King", is the only player who can beat her. James sees Danielle’s logic, but he’s nervous to go up on the block. And he doesn’t think Janelle’s such a force to be reckoned with anymore: "She’s not the same girl she was last year. She’s like a fat piece of sh*t this year." Oh, she just needs a little Trimspa and she’ll be back in fighting form. At the nomination ceremony, Danielle says: "This decision I made today was based on the nominations last week, and after the power of veto ceremony. It made me uneasy and I was concerned. And I prefer to be safe than sorry." Janelle has the pissiest look on her face. She knows she’s gonna be nominated. And Dani follows through on her plan to nominate Janelle and James. She says she decided to "put the two toughest badasses in your alliance to compete for the veto. And to me, let the best person win." Janelle’s reaction to being nominated: "Frankly, I think Danielle’s a bitch." Oh, stop being a baby. Janelle’s been HOH twice, which means she was directly responsible for booting two people out of the game. That was okay. But someone nominates her and it’s a horrifying injustice. Janelle can dish it out, but she can’t take it. Janelle says "I was very surprised that James was nominated. I thought that Danielle and him had this really close relationship. James was seriously upset. I hope its not all an act." Let's ask him. Hey, James, were you acting? "Are you kidding me? Of course I was acting. I am willing to go on the block if that’s what has to happen to get Janelle out of here." Janelle might look like Anna Nicole Smith, but she’s not as dumb as Anna Nicole Smith. She knows James is pissed at her, she knows James and Dani are tight, and she’s wondering if they’re in a secret alliance. "Do you think that James knew he was going on the block as a decoy?" she asks Kaysar. But Kaysar apparently has all the faith in the world in James. "He’ll never take that deal in a million years." Is Kaysar clueless or what? In the diary room Janelle says, "James is in our alliance, yes, but there’s always been like that little tiny bit of suspicion with James." This is what I actually like about Janelle. You can rag on those 20 pounds she could stand to lose, and her hair, but James is absolutely off-target when he says Janelle is stupid. She’s made some mistakes this year, but she’s still shrewd, and she’s still one of the more dangerous players in the game. Meanwhile, Will goes up to Howie and announces, "We’re gonna shave our bodies." Just as casual as if he were saying, "Let’s have lunch." This is still so bizarre to me. Howie, of course, is down for anything that involves Will’s bare skin and touching. "You can shave my chest." Will protests, "I’m not shaving anything on you, Fruitcake." ‘Cause apparently shaving together is completely masculine. Shaving EACH OTHER is really gay. Even Mike Boogie, who styles his frosted-tipped hair around his visor, thinks this is a bit much: "This is the House of the Hairless Men. They love to shave themselves. It’s a little too meterosexual for me." You’re a man—it’s okay to have body hair. If I was a woman, and I was letting a man inside my heaven, and he took off his clothes and was hairless…it would freak me the hell out. Am I right, ladies? We get to watch Howie shave the hair around his meaty nipples. Seriously, those suckers are big. He could nurse a kid with those. George, with nothing better to do, joins the party. "All the younger guys, they do the shave thing. So hey, I might as well do it too." When in Rome, right? And George lies down, shirtless, as Howie looms over him, razor in hand. Is Howie going to do his pubes too? Next, George waddles in to Danielle’s HOH room, looking very upset. What's up?" she asks. George pulls down the elastic waistband of his shorts: "My pee-pee’s bald!" No, no, I made that up. George is growing weary, he doesn’t think he’ll make it to the end. Danielle bucks him up: "You and I are the only parents here. I’ve never talked about my family, why I’m here. I do not because in Season 3 they held it against me. They thought I was using that to play the game." It’s true. Back in Season 3, Danielle justified every lie and double-cross by saying "I gotta win that money for my family", and they crucified her for it. Selfish, childless bastards. George tells Dani, "You have my word. You go to the end and I’ll be there for you. ‘Cause we’re kind of an awful lot alike in a lot of different ways." We all know I’m a complete George convert now, but I have to point out: George loves to wax on about how he has so much in common with people…well, that he has nothing in common with. First, when Georgie was trying to convince Kaysar not to shave his head, he told Kaysar they had a lot in common. Yes, George knows the struggles of the Iraqi-American experience. Then George had a lot in common with Jase. I can just see George wearing his mandana, doing the mirror face as he styles each and every bleach-blond hair. And now George can apparently relate to being a woman of color. You’re every woman, George. Since George morphed into a sincere, honorable, completely worthy All-Star, Howie’s taken over the mantle of Dumbest Person in the House. Erika, Will and Janelle are talking about love, relationships, all that good stuff. It’s one of those really great conversations where people are opening up, getting to know each other…they’re just genuinely enjoying one another’s company. Then Howie plops down, and, apropos of nothing, blurts: "You’re lucky in love." It’s one of those situations where they’re having a kind of deep talk, Howie doesn’t really know what they’re talking about, he’s not wanted, but he’s trying to force his way in anyway. Also worth pointing out: Howie’s back fat is quite prominent. His rolls are almost as big as mine. In the diary room Janelle (who’s supposed to be Howie’s biggest ally, no?) says: "Lately Howie’s just been butting into conversations and been really loud and we’re just kind of like irritated. He doesn’t add anything to the conversation that’s like, intellectual or exciting or even funny." Will, Janelle and Erika send out a "this is a A-B conversation, C your way out of it" vibe, and Howie stalks off and starts being loud and obnoxious, imitating Janelle and Erika: "Oh yeah Will, I love your scrawny little body. It’s a turn on." Howie has all the maturity of a 12 year-old boy. Will says Howie is like a "little baby waiting for someone to hug him. He just wants attention." Maybe Howie’s jealous Will’s not paying attention to him. Veto competition: Janelle, James, Danielle, Marcellas, Will and Boogie are playing. Says Danielle: "At this point we got this sealed. Janelle should be going home because there’s five people against Janelle." I don’t know, Dani. Janelle is very good at winning competitions. Don’t count her out just yet. The players have to lie down in a grave (so they can’t see the others). They’re offered punishments and rewards. If you take a punishment (for yourself or the other houseguests), you win points. If you take a reward, you lose points. Whoever has the most points at the end wins the veto. Between this and last week’s up all night/backwards words contests, the competitions haven’t been nearly as lame lately. They players are offered 24 hours of solitary confinement, and Danielle takes it. "The goal is to make sure Janelle doesn’t win it," Dani says, "and I’m willing to give up anything and everything to make sure the nominations stay the same. So I expect the same thing from my alliance." But her alliance apparently thinks they’re the next contestants on The Price is Right, and they collect all the prizes they can. Mike happily scoops up a plasma tv and a trip to Aruba, saying: "I don’t know if there’s a chimney in the Big Brother house but I’m pretty sure Santa Claus has been by here!" Will gives up all his points for $5,000. And "Veto King" James has no problem being dethroned: he gives up points for a phone call from home, and, of all things, a Margarita Party. I expected this from Boogie and Will. But what is wrong with you, James!? Janelle racks up points by putting the whole house on cots and cold water for a week; she puts the houseguests not playing in the veto competition on slop; and she gives up her shot at veto next week. And Janelle wins. When Danielle realizes that while she signed up for solitary confinement her alliance members were scooping up cash and prizes, she is FURIOUS. "I’m working with idiots. They’re just being greedy. It’s so frustrating. Legion of Doom? We’re the Legion of Stupidity." On punishing the house with cots, cold water, and slop, Janelle says: "I feel really bad about doing this to my other houseguests. But the bottom line is, I desperately needed to win the power of veto. Danielle was gunning for me to go out of this house and I think that her worst nightmare just happened. Oops! Too bad, so sad." Janelle shows again that James is totally underestimating her. She realizes something's not right about the way James played the veto. "Why did you get rid of the points? Why didn’t you want to win it?" James makes some lame excuses, but Janelle’s smart enough to know better. "I was a little bit concerned about James’ game play because if you’re on the block obviously you do anything to get the power of veto, right? But he gave points away for getting a Margarita Party and he gave points away for getting a phone call." James made it clear that HE DIDNT’ CARE IF HE WON. That was a big mistake, James. Janelle hasn’t put together yet that James is working with Danielle—but if James keeps being this obvious, she will. Will and Boogie realize: once Season 6 is gone, they’re the next targets. So they scheme to put that target on someone else: Marcellas. They start spreading the word that Marcellas took the cash, and the tv. Poor Marcellas. All he took was the slop pass, and he sort of was owed that, since he gave George the last one. Will Kirby, you are going to Hell. Unbelievably, EVERYONE SEEMS TO BELIEVE WILL. Janelle, James, Howie, everyone. They know Will's a greedy bastard. And he's shouted from the mountaintops that he’s a liar. But everyone completely believes that Marcellas snatched up all the prizes. What is wrong with you people!? Right now Will is successfully straddling Season 6 and the Floater alliance—and no one seems to have a clue. Forget about Janelle—Will is the most dangerous player in the game. And if no one wises up soon, he’s gonna win Big Brother—again. When Danielle is released from solitary confinement, she gets right back into the game. "So the first thing I’m thinking is like, what’s going on. I’m talking to everybody and they Momma ‘cause I need to know what’s going on!" Boogie tells Dani that Marcellas took the tv and the cash, and pretty much everyone starts pushing for Marcellas as the replacement nominee—even James. So much for breaking up Season 6. Danielle confronts James about his pathetic performance in the veto competition: "The hard thing was not taking that phone call, James. That bothered me. Here I am sitting here and trying to win the power of veto, sacrificing myself, and you take the phone call. So that bothered me." I need to send Danielle another psychic message: I know right now you need this alliance with James. But I don’t think you should completely trust him. Watch your back. Janelle says, "My only concern about using the power of veto is that Danielle’s going to backdoor Kaysar." But Janelle, of course, uses it anyway. And instead of listening to everyone and gunning for Marcellas…Danielle follows her gut and nominates Kaysar. Says Kaysar of his nomination: "I’m not going to take things lying down." Yeah, you probably are. ‘Cause you’re a PANSY. Kay continues, "Hell yeah, I’m gonna fight on. It’s not over yet. It’s game on." Which brings us to… THURSDAY: EVICTION NIGHT Going into tonight’s eviction, I’m quite certain Kaysar is gone. Since his nomination, Kaysar’s been trying to secure some votes. He works on Erika first. "I’ve been good to you. When I gave you my word on something I have tried my best to make it happen. I went out and campaigned for you." Was she running for Mayor? Okay, Kaysar is trying. But rather than a strong, powerful, "hell-yeah-game-on" approach…Kaysar is kind of mumbly. And a little pathetic. He continues, "I’m not going to beg for a vote…" But can you vote for me? Please please please??? Erika is hanging her head, uncomfortable, evasive. "I honestly don’t know if my vote makes a difference." Translation: I’ll see you on the outside, Kaysar. You can come to my Pilates class. Kaysar goes to George, and points out that he’s been kind and honorable from the beginning of the game. Kaysar’s strategy seems to be: he’s asking people to keep him because he’s nice. Which isn’t going to cut it. George says, "One thing about you, Kaysar, and this is what I like. You speak the truth, okay?" You know, I think we have a lot in common... "Kaysar, there is not a lot of people in the beginning of the game who were talking and talking to me. I can’t tell you what I’m gonna do but I will just remember what you’ve done." Translation: Good luck back home. I loved the segment with Will and Boogie’s moms. First, we go to Colorado for a visit with Will’s mom. With Will being the suave, clever doctor, I expected Will’s mom to be classy and sophisticated. She's not. In fact, she’s actually a bit trashy. Looks like she'd own a farm. Big hair must run in the family: Will's mom has a giant blond/gray curly mop. Will was a cute kid, and he’s apparently a natural born schemer: "Even as a little boy Will was always thinking and plotting and planning." Will’s mom continues, "I would like Will to continue to try to stay away from Howie. I wish he would keep his hands off him." She’s afraid Will’s gonna catch gay. Then, we jet off to New Hampshire to see Mike’s mom. I’m hoping Mike’s mom will be wearing a shiny basketball outfit and a visor, but, alas, she’s a normal-looking well-into-middle-age woman. She’s got a crappy little house, with a roof that appears to be wet and leaky. If Mike wins maybe he can send her a few bucks to get that fixed. Mike’s mom says "Mike and I were a special family. There was just the two of us. He did not have his father in his life. I had him when I was 19 so we pretty much grew up together." I see…Mike’s dad did a hit and run. Boogie’s moms was a ho! Before the bleached hair and orange fedoras transformed him into Boogie, Mike was just a geeky, average-looking kid. "Mike was a chubby little boy," says his mom, and they show a picture of Mike looking like the fat kid from Goonies. But he shed the weight when he was a teenager, and now "Mike the Flirt…he comes by that naturally." Sure. It runs in the family. How do you think Mom ended up P.G. at 19? Hmm…Mike’s mom is easy, and she’s kinda cute for an old broad…I should look her up. Mike’s mom says "I’m proud to be one of the Chill Town Moms." And why shouldn’t she be? Will and Boogie made no bones about being lying villains. If the rest of the house falls for it, they deserve what they get. Tonight’s another live vote. The highlights: On his way in Howie kisses Marcellas. I guess he figures he’s got a better shot with him than Will. On his way out, Howie kisses Erika. Now I’m just confused. George is wearing a pink blazer, pink sunglasses, with the afro wig sticking out of his shirt, like chest hair. He looks like it’s Halloween and his costume is Elton John. Enough with the wacky Eviction night outfits, George. Everyone except for Howie and Janelle votes to evict Kaysar. Being interviewed by Julie Chen is never a good experience. But it’s even worse tonight for Kaysar: it’s his birthday. And Julie has apparently been instructed to make Kaysar feel like a total loser/shmuck. Julie says, "I have something to reveal to you." I’m pregnant. And you’re the father. No, no, no. Julie says, "James is in a secret alliance with Danielle, Mike Boogie, and Will. They call their alliance the Legion of Doom." Julie has a mischievous, almost sadistic glimmer in her eyes. Her tone of voice is saying, "SUCKER!" Jules continues, "James was working completely towards getting Janelle out of the house. Here’s what he’s said about Janelle. He has called her 'a stupid bitch'." And she repeats James’ Anna Nicole Smith quip. One of the Big Brother producers must really hate Janelle. They LOVE to make Julie tear her apart. And Julie calling Janelle a stupid bitch…oh, it’s just priceless, the BB laugh-out-loud moment of the week. Whatever little bit of credibility Julie Chen has as a serious newsperson is dwindling away. Kaysar’s response? "I guess it just goes to show I’m not cut out for this game. I’ve tried to play with honesty. I’ve tried to play the best I can. It’s disappointing." He seriously looks like he’s going to cry. Then, to rub poor Kaysar’s face in it, they play "I told you so" goodbye messages. Mike Boogie says, "I tried to tell you something that you’re gonna see very shortly and that’s that you could not trust your boy James." Will: "I hate to say this but somehow ‘I told you so’ just doesn’t cut it. I told you James was gonna peel off and he did, with me. He stabbed you in the back." And James: "I could no longer sit back and watch Janelle single-handedly destroy our group. Her selfishness and her stupidity were taking our team to the path of destruction. I gave you guys four weeks of chances and you stabbed me in the back every chance you got." "I hope you’re birthday gets better from here, Kaysar," Julie smirks. Thanks, BITCH. Kaysar’s final thoughts: "I’m just gonna go back to my loved ones. Gonna try to collect myself and really take in what happened." And see a good therapist, I hope. I just want to hug him. On to the HOH competition: Julie says "Over the past 24 hours the houseguests have discovered that the Big Brother house is haunted. It appears the ghost of seasons past hold the answers to this week’s HOH competition." This was actually pretty cool: random houseguests, among them Alison, Bunky, Eric from last season, and Holly from Season 5, start appearing behind mirrors, red devil-light shining in their faces. The "ghosts" steal some stupid crap from the house, then they have a "seance" where the ghosts tell the houseguests what they stole. Best line from the seance comes from Alison: "Don’t worry, Erika and Janelle. I’m not real. Just like your…well, I think we all know…" Like I said: somebody on the Big Brother staff hates Janelle. It’s a standard HOH competition, with the houseguests answering easy T/F questions from the seance. The good part happens…when the equipment starts malfunctioning. Boogie keeps looking at his display—his buzzer seems to be on the fritz. Julie asks a question and Howie doesn’t buzz in. Julie gets panicked: "Howie, we need an answer!" Howie protests: "I hit it. What the…" James chimes in: "I had to hit mine twice too." An oblivious Julie eliminates Howie, and Erika wins HOH. Another great week for my Floaters, right? Not so fast. Apparently after the live show ended, Big Brother investigated and discovered that the buzzers were indeed faulty. Which means the competition wasn’t fair. Oh, boo hoo hoo. Anyway, they do an HOH do-over. And this time…the invincible Janelle wins. Yes, Janelle is good. Janelle nominated Danielle and Erika. But I can guarantee you this: the Black Widow's not going anywhere. |
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