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Related Sites: · Official Site · Sirlinkalot: Obscure Reality Shows Stan Lee with his cast of superheroes wannabes.

You can positively feel the love in this week's episode of Who Wants to Be a Superhero? There's lots of hot tears, lingering hugs and repeated "I love you"s -- just the qualities one would expect of a (daytime soap opera star) superhero. After a recap of last week's best-left-forgotten episode, we drop in on the remaining contestants performing cleaning chores in full uniform. This is the second time we've seen them doing this, and I can't believe they haven't pooled their resources yet and sprung for a maid. So, we get Fat Momma doing a little light dusting when she really ought to be on the floor digging donut crumbs out of every nook and cranny. We get Feedback scouring a bathroom sink with gusto, sharing that this competition is the most important thing in his life. I see he hasn't lost his intensity. We get Major Victory doing the most nominal of cleaning, while prancing about the lair, and repeating his desire to win so he can prove to his estranged daughter that he's a hero.

Stan Lee brings this fascinating sojourn to an end by greeting them from his omnipresent video monitor. He tells them the upcoming challenge will be a different type of test. They will be judged on their abilities to inspire people, a faculty every superhero should possess. They will confront the "toughest judges of all" in a classroom of fourth graders, and they will be tasked with explaining their character's background, delivering an inspirational message, and talking about their powers. The kids will then pick their favorite.

Cast

Matthew Atherton, aka Feedback	Nel Wilson, aka Fat Momma	Chris Watters, aka Major Victory	Stan Lee

Our small band of heroes pile into a regular-sized Hummer (if such a term can be applied to such a vehicle) rather than the less-than-discreet limousine monstrosity that transported them when the body-count numbered eleven. Stan introduces each hero to the classroom, again via disembodied video screen. (Get out of the house every once in a while, will ya, Stan?) Feedback intently ambles in and gives them a karate kick. Fat Momma makes a motherly entrance, waving to the kids. And Major Victory... ah, wouldn't this show be boring without his constant comedic antics? He hams it up, giving them a moonwalk, and asks everybody, "How's my hair?" The enthusiastic response prompts him to gush, "Good answer!" Can you imagine Creature wandering in with her bare midriff, mini-skirt and bullwhip, or Lemuria bouncing in while trying to keep "the girls" in line? Those two apparently got eliminated just in time for this particular challenge, or I could have seen unintentional child enticement charges filed. How ironic that the costumes of the three remaining contestants go from head to toe. Or maybe not.

Before they start, every hero is seated and kids come up to cover their eyes. A large mock-up of a comic book cover is unveiled featuring each individual character. Feedback sees his and just glows. Fat Momma smiles, though her rendition is rather frightening and scary-looking. Major Victory's cover looks great but is greeted with silence. Being around the children makes him think of the time he missed with his daughter when she was this age. What that's got to do with his cover is utterly lost on me, though I can see they are going to go somewhere with this absentee father/estranged daughter thing.

Feedback is the first to talk about his origins. He goes into a highly-technical speech about how he became a superhero and how he obtains his power through video games. The kids are not into it, until he mentions that part about video games. Some kid asks what his favorite video game is and Feedback answers, "Pong." Wha-at? I doubt Feedback was even born when Pong was around and, really, there isn't a flashier game he could have come up with to impress the wee tikes? He continues talking over their collective heads, prompting another question: "Did you just make that up, or are you nuts?" Feedback explains to the precocious pre-pubescent that insanity is a form of creative energy. A good answer, and probably explains the length of his talk.

Fat Momma gets the room clapping and raps her theme song. (This obviously makes an impression because several of them are able to repeat lines from it later.) She delivers a message about having self esteem and not teasing people, and successfully connects with the kids at their level. So much so that not a single question is asked of her.

Major Victory energetically explains his character's story, though his various powers are somewhat confusing. He's obviously going for the laughs. Best exchange: "Why is your hair so important to you?" "Aerodynamics!" he responds, going on to explain how the shape of his hair makes him go faster.

The kids are instructed to stand behind their favorite hero. Most eschew the flashy and brainy heroes to select the down-to-earth Fat Momma. Feedback and Major Victory are forced to stay behind and write sentences on the chalkboard (“I will not pretend to be a superhero”), supervised by the vile Dark Enforcer.

Speaking of the Dark Enforcer, Stan informs our heroes that he has been spotted at Universal CityWalk at Universal Studios Hollywood. They are to track down and apprehend the villain as quickly as they can -- in the most superhero-like fashion, of course. To locate him, they will follow three clues. A woman with an ankle tattoo and high heel shoes will have information about the second clue. And, boy, that one's a dandy. They are to find a rotund man with a diamond earring and rub his belly to reveal the next clue. Yep, it's as gross as it sounds. That clue directs them to locate a woman with a purse containing an exact amount of money. She will finally point them to their quarry.

Major Victory's rather outgoing way naturally spurs a few cries for security. Feedback's creepy intensity gathers some rude remarks. Fat Momma doesn't seem to be in any hurry as she leisurely questions passersby. Major Victory is the first to find the Dark Enforcer after about fifteen minutes, without a security guard in sight. The scoundrel asks what took so long and our red-clad hero just silently sneers at him.

Feedback almost beats his time, but rather than leave the woman's purse in disarray, he heroically put everything back, except for a pesky penny that's fallen to the ground. He can't grab it with his gloves and he dares not remove them, with thoughts of Stan's chastisement dancing in his head. After all, Major Victory got a royal chewing-out for just taking off his cape. What will Stan do if he finds out he took off a glove? Besides, we know by now it's not about the time it takes to finish a challenge. The Dark Enforcer mouths off upon his arrival, to which Feedback responds, "There's still good in you."

Fat Momma is strolling through the crowd, making sure to talk to people with food so she can pilfer French fries and chicken strips -- "for energy," she says. She even takes time for a massage. That is going to be one relaxed superhero -- if she ever makes it to the finish line. After counting the exact change, she nabs a candy apple from "the woman with the purse" before sauntering up to the Dark Enforcer's location. He talks all tough about the damage he could have done during the lengthy time it took her to complete the tasks. "At least I'm not hungry!" she retorts, between bites.

Our heroes compare notes back at the lair, with Feedback enthusiastically recalling that he used to make up scavenger hunts like that for his friends. Fat Momma repeats her wish that Feedback win the competition, if only because she can't stand to see him eliminated and the effect it would have on him. Feedback assures them that he'll be happy with whoever wins.

Stan announces that it's time to ascent to the Rooftop of Elimination. Fat Momma locks herself in the bathroom instead. She refuses to come out and demands to talk to the executive producer. In a stunning bathroom scene wringing with emotion, Fat Momma tells the producer that Feedback wants to win so bad, and that she would rather be taken off the show than see Feedback hurt and disappointed. At this point I suspect her of deliberately throwing the last competition to give Feedback his chance. The object of her distress, and Major Victory, pile into the (obviously handicap-accessible or it would have been a really cozy conversation) bathroom to work out a solution. Fat Momma is crying and professions of love are bandied about. Feedback gives her a pep talk by pointing out that the school children choose her for their hero. He tells her that if he gets eliminated tonight, then he has no regrets. He says that if he loses to either of them then he will have lost to a true superhero. They decide to leave the decision up to Stan and head up to the roof.

Stan admits that he would rather be anywhere but there (how about a locked bathroom?). He asks all three of the heroes to occupy a Red Cube of Fate. Fat Momma earns Stan's pride for her inspirational message in the classroom, and for winning that challenge. He's less than thrilled about her lackadaisical performance in the second competition. He rebuffed her for staying in character (something I thought would have scored bonus points) and for taking forty minutes longer than the others to complete the tasks. He reiterated that it was a "timed event," though that has not necessarily meant anything in the past. Looking her in the eye, Stan tells her that for the first time, he was disappointed in her.

Grouchy 'ol Stan lights into Major Victory for going for the laughs in front of the kids, rather than delivering a message, or explaining the origins of his character. (Of course, mentioning he used to be in the "clothing removal business" might have spread negative vibes.) Finally, Feedback gets his heaping helping of hyperbole. He didn't read the crowd and gave way too detailed explanations for their understanding. However, he praised him on his superhero qualities in the final challenge by choosing to help someone instead of going for the win. That's essentially what Fat Momma did, too, so things aren't looking good for Major Victory, especially since Stan doesn't offer any congratulations to him for winning.

At the moment of truth, Stan notes that he's looking for a superhero, not a comedian, so Major Victory is eliminated. Stan enjoyed his humor along with everybody else, but he fears that in the process he has become like a parody of a superhero. Excuse me, Stan, but I believe one of your web-slinging creations has a propensity for cracking jokes. So, I don't know why Stan dismissed Major Victory for displaying the same attribute. Must have been the "Thong Man" thing.

As Major Victory heads over to turn his costume in at the Garbage Can of Failure, Feedback is intensely upset. During the requisite group-hug-I'm-sorry-to-see-you-go ceremony, Feedback breaks away to climb onto his Red Cube of Fate and begins to address Stan. The deposed hero barks at him, "don't do that," before Feedback does something drastic, like ask to be locked in a bathroom. "You're not the shot-caller here," Major Victory says, and Feedback accepts the decision. Some fans apparently don't and have called for a boycott of next week's finale in protest.

As the former Major Victory departs the low-tech destruction of his costume, Stan calls out, "Chris," using his real name. He tells Chris that his goal was to prove to his 16 year old daughter that he is a superhero. Mission accomplished, says Stan. He directs Chris to a cell phone where his daughter is on the line. The estranged teen says she was rooting for him and that she loves him. "You're my hero, dad." Well, by now Chris is crying (something his daughter says she has rarely seen), Fat Momma is crying, Feedback is crying, Stan is grabbing his hanky, I'm bawling, and I swear I hear Ali McGraw somewhere saying, "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Then, Chris does something that only makes my fondness for him grow. Rather than carry on a personal conversation with his daughter for all to hear, he tells her he'll call her later when they can talk more privately. In recognizing the exploitative nature of the whole setup, he showed a keen maturity that is sure to carry him forward in his life. If all he gets out of this show is a revitalized connection with his daughter, then he will have won a much better prize than a mere one-shot comic book written by Stan Lee and movie appearance for his character. Chris departs the rooftop with his hope that he was an inspiration to others, and breaks the tension by asking Stan, "Can I keep the phone? It's a good one!"

He went out a "winner -- not a wiener" after all.

Previously turned in their costumes

Tobias Trost, aka Levity	Darren Passarello, aka Nitro G	Chelsea Weld, aka Cell Phone Girl	Steel Chambers, aka The Iron Enforcer
Mary Votava, aka Monkey Woman	E. Quincy Sloan, aka Ty'Veculus	Tonya Kay, aka Creature	Tonatzin Mondragon, aka Lemuria

Past Recaps: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4