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by R.J. Carter Published: August 31, 2006
That was then. This is now. Julie Chen opens the night with two surprising statements. First, she tells us that Chilltown has been seeing themselves as the Beatles, and they're looking for which female they'll take with them to the end -- that is, they're looking for their Yoko Ono. I don't know how much music history either Mike Boogie or Will Kirby have, but most of us older guys remember that the impact the real Yoko Ono had on the real Beatles is probably not what they want to happen to their alliance. Julie's second surprise is that tonight -- it's Big Brother: Fast Forward. After the live eviction, we will play an entire Big Brother week... in one episode. After the HoH competition, there will be immediate nominations, followed by a Power of Veto competition, a Veto ceremony, and another live eviction! George, one of our current nominees says he expects this to be the peaceful week where he'll end up going home. He's been looking forward to the beer and fried chicken Julie promised him the last time he was up for eviction. Meanwhile, Danielle is upset with herself because she feels she's been seriously played. After the emotional Veto ceremony, Will and Boogie meet in the kitchen to discuss strategy. When Erika walks in, they console her. In a Diary Room interstitial, Will states the obvious: "I'm the one who did this, and no one's even mad at me!" Big Brother's answer to Rasputin knows he's in charge. He and Boogie reaffirm Erika as the third Chilltown member. But when Erika leaves, Janelle walks in. And what do Boogie and Will do? They reaffirm that she's the third Chilltown member! So, just because they can, they head out to the dining room and meet with George -- where they offer him the position of third Chilltown member! And while they do, George is de-veining the shrimp they'll be eating that night. Remember, George is on slop! And yet, he's still working on the meals for the rest of the house. What a trouper! Outside, Chilltown still hasn't had a chance to talk to Danielle yet. I half expected them to offer her the opportunity to be the third Chilltown member, and I'm not too far wrong. Boogie tells her she is safe. Will also tells her that they're keeping her when she asks him, allowing for another Diary Room edit: "Maybe I should reintroduce myself," says Will. "They call me 'The Puppet Master.'" Which brings us back to the live eviction tonight. Julie tells the houseguests that the show goes into overdrive tonight, but she doesn't explain what that means. One by one, the houseguests cast their votes: Janelle votes to evict: Danielle Will votes to evict: Danielle Mike votes to evict: Danielle Hmm. I who could have predicted that Danielle would leave in a three-to-zip vote? Realizing she's been turned on by everyone in the house, Danielle stands and exits with... a smile and hugs? Wither the stormy Danielle of last week? She's thought it over, apparently, and makes one of the classiest exits this season. As soon as she's out the door, George -- realizing he's going to be staying in the house -- quickly begins stripping out of the silly flower costume he had on, knowing he has to be ready for a Head of Household competition. (You'd think he'd know these things by now -- they've only had one after every other eviction ceremony.) While they houseguests prepare, Julie Chen has the exit interview with Danielle and plays the usual goodbye messages, in which Erika appeals to Danielle to reconsider her decision not to vote for Erika when she's on the jury. I don't think even the newly-mellowed Danielle bought that, though. FAST FORWARD The HoH competition is yet another lame True/False pop quiz, only this time the answers can be "Male" or "Female". Stepping forward or backward to answer, with walls between them to hide everyone else, the houseguests answer eight questions about the history of the season. Come on, people. This is supposed to be All-Stars! I want to see Janelle tackle-and-claw somebody again. Not that she needs to do that to win, because eight questions later, the score stands at: Janelle: 8 George: 6 Will: 6 Mike: 6 And Jedi Janie takes yet another competition. And is it just me, or do those closeups show a hickey on her neck? Will, you got some 'splainin' to do! Julie tells the houseguests to go inside and wait to be called. But Will's already sussed out the plan for tonight. He quickly ushers Janelle into the pantry and lays out the strategy. The evil doctor has met with every other HoH before nominations were made, and he'll be damned if tonight is going to be any different. You can hear him strategize to put up Erika and George, even planning for the events of the Veto ceremony and how Janelle would break any tie in Chilltown's favor. Janelle is worried that her 'alliance' with Chilltown will be revealed if she does this, but Rasputin... I mean, Will, tells her, "This is the week that everyone's going to know, no matter what. In a quick nomination ceremony, Janelle does just what Will said to, and puts up George and Erika. Yet she still feels the need for a little CYA, claiming she didn't have any time to talk to anybody before these nominations. What, does she think nobody noticed that she and Will were missing all that time? Meanwhile, Julie drops the next bomb: the Power of Veto competition will begin in a few minutes. What this means for the houseguests is that they have to get prepared quickly. What it means for the viewers is that this is going to be one of the most commercial-packed episodes all season. At least the PoV competition is a physical one, albeit one we've seen before in a more difficult version. The houseguests have a rope attached around their waists. At the other end of the rope is the veto symbol, and each rope has two large knots in it. The houseguests have to untie the knots, slide the veto symbol off the rope, run all the way back (rope still attached to their waists) and ring the bell. During this time, I began to realize just how important editing and background music are to Big Brother. Watching physical competitions live without the color is like watching a baseball game without beer and hotdogs. Julie tries to provide some play-by-play, with the overall effect of making the race about as exciting as bowling... or maybe golf. At the end, it's Will and Erika racing each other. But Will still has a bit of knot left. He doesn't get his veto symbol off, but nevertheless makes a mad dash for the bell. He pulls the veto podium over and rings it (possibly breaking his thumb in the attempt, we learn later.) But fair-and-square Erika does things according to the rules, and the Golden Power of Veto is hers. "That Pilates goes a long way," she says about her performance in the contest. At this point, things don't look good for George. The only viable candidates to fill Erika's position -- and she will use the power on herself, there was never any doubt of that -- are Will and Mike. Either one will vote to protect the other, and if Erika votes to evict the Chilltown Candidate, Janelle's tiebreaker vote would send George home. So when Erika does the expected, Janelle puts up Erika's showmance, Mike Boogie. "It's not so bad up here, Boogie," George tells him. None of the houseguests -- except, perhaps, Will -- know that they now have to do another live eviction. I don't know if anyone catches it, but Boogie actually campaigns against George, saying that he's a very sympathetic character who will be tough to beat, votewise, in the end. Will votes to evict: George Erika votes to evict: George Ladies and gentlemen... the Chicken has flown the coop. George exits with the same affable lovableness with which he entered. He didn't have any of the breakdowns during the season, and as such he had nothing to make up for with a classy exit -- but he was classy nonetheless. George didn't make much of an impression as a competitor or a player -- that's Janelle and Will's roles, respectively -- but he definitely made an impression as a human being. I admire the heck out of the guy, and gladly point to him as a role model. And just to top off George's night, Julie brings in none other than Colonel Sanders (or the current lookalike) bearing a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. (Hey, this ain't Flavor of Love 2!) Which leaves us with four contestants. Here, we learn that Will thinks he broke his thumb. Well, don't feel too badly, Will. Janelle also was injured in the game: she says she thinks she broke a nail. Will also wonders if someone is coming back, stating that there's still a lot of time left in the show. Hmm... Maybe Will hasn't figured everything out about Big Brother after all. |
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