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by Sheila Franklin Published: September 21, 2006
We are exposed to the usual reality/talent show hype, “Your votes are more crucial than ever!” Not if your votes have to compete with the entire NFL or an audience full of Jerry Springer fans. Perhaps groupies of the “little people” could start having block parties and vote en masse. Encore: It’s no surprise that Joey and Edyta do the encore, and Edyta in particular must be pleased for, if you remember, her former partner was George Hamilton. He was probably a hoot to be with, but not much of a dancer. She appears to be falling out of her dress and keeps hiking it up in the back. All the pros get to do a group dance to “Rebel Yell.” After dancing with amateurs for most of the week, it’s probably a kick (no pun intended) just to dance with their peer group for a change. Backstage Chatter: Samantha asks Joey where he will go now that he has received two 10s. He replies that they just start over from 0. Emmitt wants to be #1 and Vivian admits that she cried. The level of interviewing here is incredible, isn’t it? Audience Chatter: More stalling as we hear from the studio audience. This is a good chance for current ABC stars (George Lopez) and hopefully future ones (Ted Danson) to plug their shows. One of the audience members remarks that “Harry should find his inner Lisa.” It certainly couldn’t hurt. Maybe a Valium would help. Time for the first of the “safe” couples, AKA “How to Stretch 2 Minutes Into an Hour Long Show.” These are Sara and Tony, Emmitt and Cheryl, and Joey and Edyta. No real surprise here. Then Cheryl and Max dance to “I Wanna Know What Love Is” while Julio Iglesias accompanies them with his still very sexy voice. The three of them make for a nice intermission to the interminable wait. Backstage Chatter: Samantha talks to the safe celebs, once again mostly ignoring their dance partners. Sara claims that Tony will be moving in with her and Emmitt wants to be number #1. Whine, whine, whine. The SlimFast at Home Commercial: Lysonia and Christian do the tango. Lysonia is also having a whine-out moment, then Christan decides to put some fake eyelashes on her so that she has to look up. A clever trick. Lysonia says she is feeling better and getting into shape. Where’s the weigh in? Jordi Caballero and Claudia Valasco perform a tango to “Kiss Away the Heartache.” I understand that Dancing is a ballroom kind of thing, but wouldn’t it be nice to occasionally interject some Broadway stuff or even hip hop? At this point in the show I feel like I am the whiner and desperately look around for chocolate. Finally some respite. Tucker hosts a sequence called “Behind the Sequins,” which is the best performance of the night by far. It mostly consists of Tucker chatting with the judges and making comments such as this one to Bruno, “Do you ever crawl into bed at night and think 'I’m such a bitchy man'?” The judges take all this in and reply in serious responses. I guess they either don’t get it or they are afraid of losing credibility. If the producers are wise they will try to turn this into a running gag. Monique and Louis are safe. Harry and Ashly are safe. Ashly squeals. Since wife Lisa Renna has been doing double duty as both cheering wife and ET correspondent, he should be around long enough for that Valium to kick in. Unfortunately, it’s more complaining as the contestants talk about what it’s like to be worried about going under the dreaded “red light.” Although Willa and Max are in the bottom two, in the end it’s Shanna and Jesse who are eliminated. But at least we all get a small reprieve. There’s gonna be some jivin’ next week. Happy days. Best backstage comment: (Willa Ford) “Somebody’s gotta suck.” Best audience chatter’s comment: (Tom referring to Willa’s comment) “Welcome to Somebody Must Suck.” Best judge’s comment: (Bruno referring to Tucker’s comment about him being a bitchy man) “I’ve surpassed that.” Previous Episode Recaps: Week 2 Week 1 | Week 1 Results |
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