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by Caroline Roberts Published: November 19, 2006
It's not a problem. Relationships end. Life is messy. But neither Danny nor Gretchen seems ready to admit that, judging from what the viewers see, it might be best to call it quits. Now, there may be a raging, burning passion between these two that proves they were meant to be together, but it's simply not visible on the screen. And that passion certainly isn't visible when Gretchen lets Danny move back in, only to put him in the guest bedroom. This "probation" smells like a bad idea from the get-go. Even Dr. Garry, who will pretty much ride any wave until Danny insults him, tells Gretchen he thinks it is a bad idea. (Or, in Dr. Garry-Speak, he says, "I have some level of trepidation." Wouldn't a therapist be more effective if he just said, "For pete's sake! Don't do it!" The real problem is that Danny and Gretchen see the "probation" differently. Danny sees it as his shot to earn her love and to move "into the arms and heart of my wife, where I belong." No one can doubt Danny's romantic passions. Gretchen, however, is looking at her own husband like a troubled teenager who needs to be kept closer to home. She says that, if he's out on his own, he might run wild in the streets or hurt himself or walk into traffic. She's talking like a mom, not like a wife, which should set off a four-alarm therapy fire in Dr. Garry's head. There's gonna be trouble. Even before he comes back, Danny declares that he knows he's being treated like a kid: "I don't know how you go back to being the head of the household after suffering a two-month time out." It's pretty clear that Danny's getting the short end of the stick when he comes home. However, if he's going to be the head of the household, then perhaps he shouldn't be photocopying the image of his penis in front of his kid! That's right - soon after Danny gets home, little Dante reveals his postmodern art project, which is photocopying his fanny. That's fine because he's a kid and kids are fascinated with butts, and that's gonna happen. But isn't it a little odd that Dad is photocopying his penis right in front of his kid? Really, what kind of statement is Danny trying to make - "Look, son, you'll be as big as me some day!" Danny shows his photocopy to mommy - whoops, Gretchen - who looks at it like she doesn't even know what it is. Dante helpfully informs her it's Daddy's penis. Clearly, she hasn't seen Daddy's penis in a while. Danny tries to distract himself from what he really wants - a little lovin' with his wife - with church and boxing. Danny doesn't mix the two, but I found myself wondering if he could be the host of a new reality show called "Boxing for Jesus." Given what else they have on television these days, it could happen! After going to his local ring and promptly getting the crap beat out of him (he may have beaten Barry Williams in Celebrity Boxing, but he's no pro), Danny revels in the side benefits of boxing. When he returns home with a battered face, Gretchen showers him with affection and attention, even if it is a mom-like urge to put a bag of peas over his swelling eyes. The rest of the episode, Danny tries hard to be a good boy. He continues to read the Bible, attend church, and spend time with his Pastor. The only fly in the ointment is Danny's addictive personality. When Danny becomes interested in something, he throws himself into it completely. He became obsessed with physical fitness, and it led to steroids. Religion can be a good thing for many people, and Gretchen in particular is hoping it will be good for Danny, but she and Dr. Garry seem to be on edge as to how it will all turn out. At the very least, Pastor Jim from Danny's church sides with Danny on the Guest Room Question and says that the Man of the House belongs in the Master Bedroom, not the Guest Room. Pastor Jim tells Danny, "You shouldn't allow yourself to be abused, and neither should she." That Pastor Jim is a tactful fellow. Danny feels better knowing even Pastor Jim is on his side, but he keeps complaining about how small the guest room is. He tells the camera, "Honestly, though, I have been bailed out of more luxurious accommodations." Well, then why doesn’t he march into Gretchen's room and say he's sick of being treated like a kid? She is treating him like a kid; however, the scene with the photocopied penis is the only moment where Danny really acts like a child. Gretchen needs to either cut him some slack or cut him off entirely, and Danny's not gonna take his 40 days and 40 nights for much longer. Next week: The Guest Room Situation drives Danny out of his mind, and he begins to play with guns and sock puppets. |
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