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ARTICLE
A Dose of Reality: American Idol 6: Week 7 - Oldies Theme
by Paul Phillips Published: April 4, 2007
Tonight's theme is Songs from the Dark Ages, and Simon and the gang pick up Tony Bennett from the nursing home to mentor the Idols. Seriously, between Tony Bennett, Diana Ross and the Herman's Hermit guy, the producers are turning this into Geriatric Idol. Tony Bennett is undeniably ancient, but at least he actually works with the kids, unlike Gwen "I'm just here to sell some records" Stefani, who looked at the contestants like they were a pile of doggy doo she stepped in. Ryan Seacrest promises us "nine superlative performances" tonight. Did they get six new contestants? Of course, the only question on anyone's mind is...how will Sanjaya wear his hair tonight?
Blake Lewis "Mack the Knife"
Blake's looking very dapper tonight in his jacket and tie. Blue is a great color for him. I've been a fan of Blake's from the start--he's far and away my favorite guy in the competition--and I think he's adorable. But this week I noticed... under that ultra-trendy hairstyle Blake has kind of an old-man face. What exactly is an old-man face, you ask? It's a young guy who's face just looks kind of old... think Mike "Boogie" from Big Brother. Even with the old-man face, Blake still gets me all hot and bothered. Tonight there's no beatboxing, no special effects. Blake just sings the song, and he sounds great. I loved it.
Phil Stacey "Night and Day"
Phil started out shaky, but when he got past the quiet opening, he actually sounded really good. Phil's voice is not the problem--it's his ghostly white skin and his giant bald head. Seriously, I can't look at this guy anymore. Sanjaya can't sing, but at least he's pretty. Phil doesn't need more joy, as Paula suggested. He needs hair.
Melinda Doolittle "I've Got Rhythm"
This old-fashioned, jazzy genre is exactly who Melinda is--she's definitely going to hit it out of the park tonight. And she does. Here's the joy Paula was talking about. At the end, when Melinda really started belting it out, I almost jumped off the couch and started dancing. Then I remembered I'm old and fat and tired. The only criticism I have is I didn't like Melinda's wig.
Chris Richardson "Don't Get Around Much Anymore"
I been a fan of Chris from the start. He's got a great look and a great personality. The judges thought this was Chris' "best performance, bar none," but I have to disagree. I thought Chris sang it well, but the genre doesn't suit him at all. I thought it was just okay. That said, I definitely want to see Chris again next week.
Jordin Sparks "On A Clear Day"
Again this week, Jordin sounded beyond amazing--this girl is really hitting her stride. And you know what? For all the talk about how wonderful Lakisha and Melinda are, I think Jordin might actually have a slight edge over them. Her voice is just as good, and she's got something that those gals don't: she's young and current. As for Simon's criticism that the performance was "very old-fashioned"--DUH. If you don't want the Idols to sound old-fashioned, don't make them sing hundred year-old songs.
Gina Glocksen "Smile"
I wasn't sure about rocker chick Gina doing Tony Bennett... I mean, Gina singing Tony Bennett. There's not enough Viagra in the whole world... but I digress. Now that I put that disturbing mental picture in your heads, I have to say, I think Gina was great. I didn't like the boots, fishnet stockings and up-to-there slit--the skanky goth chick look doesn't work for "Smile--but vocally, this was one of Gina's best.
Sanjaya Malakar "Heaven"
Say what you will about him, but nearly every media story about Idol is about Sanjaya and his hair. Mediocre singers like Sanjaya usually last a few weeks, get voted off, and then are promptly forgotten. But after last week's brilliant mohawk, America is going to remember Sanjaya for a long time. Sanjaya may be the weakest vocalist, but he is without a doubt the star of the show. I actually thought he was pretty good tonight. The genre suited him, he sounded better than he has in weeks, and they butched him up quite a bit--he almost looked male. Sorry, haters, but Sanjaya's not going anywhere this week.
Haley Scarnato "Ain't Misbehavin'"
Jordin, Melinda and Lakisha are excellent singers--but without their hair and makeup teams, I'm guessing these are pretty unfortunate looking women. Haley, however, is freaking HOT. As long as she keeps showing off those shapely legs and that ample bosom, she can stay as long as she likes. As for her performance, Haley sounded great--better than she has in a long time. Can she compete with Jordin, Melinda and Lakisha? Uh, no. If Haley's lucky, Phil will go this week. If not, Haley's in trouble.
Lakisha Jones "Stormy Weather"
Lakisha is a pro--every week you know she's gonna hit that stage and sound great. But tonight, I thought her performance was extremely over the top--I would've preferred this song to be a little more subtle and nuanced. Was Lakisha good? Of course. But this week, Melinda and Jordin were better.
