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ARTICLE
A Dose of Reality: Big Brother 8 - September 2: Zach Attack!
by R.J. Carter
Published: September 2, 2007

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Related Sites:
· Official Website: Big Brother 8
· Sir Linksalot: Big Brother 8

Head of Household

Head of Household

Last time on Big Brother 8, Amber was sent packing by a vote of 3 to 1, one of which was cast by America through our boy Eric. Surprisingly to many people, Amber did not appear the next morning on the CBS Early Show or even on the online House Calls with Gretchen Massey. In a strange move by CBS, they have placed a moratorium on any further interviews with evicted houseguests until after the finale episode, which will keep those pesky journalists from asking Amber silly little questions about why she spouts off anti-Semitic comments while simultaneously labeling herself as a good person, a slippery slope for even a cocktail waitress to try to walk.

And speaking of slippery slopes, the Head of Household competition was a marathon race that found the houseguests trying to fill their individual bowls with tea, using only a tiny little cup, requiring several trips back and forth over an oiled platform. They were a-slippin' and a-slidin', a-reelin' and a-writhin', with a very pivotal HoH position at stake.

Eviction Fallout:

Daniele thinks that it's hysterical that nobody knows about the Gang of Four alliance among herself, Dick, Jessica and Eric. Jameka vows to go as far as she can in this game to make Amber proud of her. And Eric says that voting Amber out is what America wanted, and what he wanted. As Amber makes her exit, we see Daniele hug Jameka and tell her that she's here for her.

And then we go back to the aforementioned HoH competition, where the houseguests are slipping and falling. Zach goes down on his belly, with the assumption that he can mop up the slick stuff with his clothing -- but there's too much of it. Dick tells the Diary Room that he's confident about the competition's outcome, because it's three against one -- the one being Zach. As we watch them, go back and forth, Eric is going down like a marionette with its strings cut -- how apropos!

An hour and a few minutes into the game, Jessica tells them about the smaller vessel at the end of the lane. The first player to fill the smaller one gets a phone call from home. Of course, it takes away time from trying to win the HoH. Eric is so far behind in the competition that he starts to concentrate on the smaller jar, and fills it.

An hour and forty-five minutes in, Jessica brings out more cups. The houseguests can each use two extra cups, but for each extra cup they take the houseguests have to go a day without hot water. Jessica seems to at first think that this means two days, but Eric's quicker on the math -- if they all take two cups, it means eight total days without hot water. Oops.

The funny thing about that is that Zach is using two cups -- but neither of them the original cup, so he could have just taken one and saved them a day. Dick is using three (counting his original) and says, "This is where the waitering skills come in." And Dick has reason to want to win this competition. Remember last time when Eric and Dick got to talking and found out that Zach was playing both of them? Well, it seems there was some footage we didn't get to see. An hour before the evictions, Dick laid into Zach over his comments in the way that only Dick can. So naturally Dick has reason to worry about the lead that Zach is building. And after two hours it's clear that Zach is in the lead with Dick being a close second. Eric and Daniele are nowhere in the running. "Zach can't win this HoH," says Dick.

But, alas, Zach is the first to finally float his ball out of the bowl, and he's the new Head of Household. Eric's bowl was barely over half full. "Every dog has his day," comments Eric about Zach's win. "And even this oaf and moron has his." Big words from Mr. Empty Bowl.

Dick DRs that "Amber would have had no shot at this, whatsoever." And Eric declares, "This is an absolute nightmare... This may very well come down on Jessica and make it a very difficult week for her."

To make things up to Jessica, he gives her the phone call from home that he won. She's hoping that she'll get to talk to her little brother, if he's back from Iraq. She thanks him for the gift as he mopes over her probably going to sequester.

Daniele tells Dick that Zach is going to put up Jessica and Jameka, saying that she has a lot of pull with him. Yeah, and you know exactly where the string is, I'll bet. Meanwhile, Eric is still apologizing to Jessica, and when the captioning finally brings us up to speed with Mr. Mumbles, we see he's hoping for a Dick and Daniele nomination, before concluding it will probably be himself and Jameka going up on the block.

HoH-Hum Room

Zach calls everyone to come see his HoH room, and a less excited bunch there has never been. They're sulking. Dick's yawning. Zach's been floating, but really, has he done anything to deserve this level of antipathy from the hamsters? When they leave, Daniele stays behind to exercise her pull with Zach. She delivers the sweetest lines that could have come right out of "The Godfather," letting Zach know that everyone is scared of him, and that if Zach "upsets certain people" then they'll do what they can to get him out next week. She then asks him if he's planning to put up her dad. Subtle. Zach tells her he really doesn't know who he's going to put up, but DRs, "Can you really trust a guy named Dick?" I know I sure can't, but that's neither here nor there.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Big Brother

Jessica is laying in the dark with Eric, telling him everything she's learned from playing the game:

1. She doesn't want a big family.
2. That a 44 year old man can act younger than her 3 year old cousin.
3. That when you think nobody can hear you, Zach can.
4. That she can finally trust somebody. Aww.

Eric is desparate to tell her that he's America's Player in the game, but he's restricted. He can, however, tell her what he's done, if not the way, and reveals to her that he's not only been the mystery vote early in the game, but that he also put the mustard on Jen's shirt. Jessica DRs that she wonders what else he's doing that she doesn't know about (pucker up, princess, and cuddle that woobie!) but she still trusts him.

Dial BB For Hero

Jessica goes to the Diary Room for her phone call from home, and sure enough it's from her baby brother, safe and sound, back from serving a tour in Iraq. It's a short call, but during it we learn that the BOOYAH! shirt is being printed in Kansas where it's selling out. Afterward, Jessica gets the sniffles and talks to the DR camera a bit before going out to the other houseguests. She DRs that if her 20 year old brother can make it through a war, then her getting through the Big Brother house should be nothing.

America's Puppet

America wants Eric to get Jameka nominated. Now that I find hard to believe, but I don't count the votes. Eric is happy with the choice, though (probably because it's not Jessica or his alliance members Dick or Daniele) and thinks that Zach will be receptive to the idea. Me, if I were Zach, and seeing things through his eyes, I'd be suspect of any suggestions coming to me from Eric by this point.

In the HoH room, Zach tells Eric that it's a crap shoot as to whom he's going to nominate. Eric then says the ideal scenario is that Jameka goes up and they all vote to send her home. "She makes us all wary," says Eric. Zach counters, quite reasonably, "But she hasn't done a damned thing in this game since she's been here." Eric begins back-peddling, saying that her natural leadership and charisma are the reason why she should be nominated. He's spinning and twisting, and when it's over Zach still doesn't know what he's going to do yet.

But Daniele knows. She pulls her dad out for a private chat, and brings up the opportunity to get Zach to put up Jessica and Eric, so that they can get their alliance members out with clean hands, letting Zach do the dirty work. She says that the two of them need to convince Zach that putting up Jessica and Eric is the only way to guarantee his safety in the game.

Daniele approaches Zach first, who's floating in the pool using his jeans as a life preserver (in the way they teach you in emergency videos.) Daniele gives Zach the guarantee that, unless she wins the HoH next week, Zach is going home if he doesn't put up Jessica and Eric. "You have to believe me that Eric and Jessica want you gone," she says. "I'm just trying to help you." Then she adds, "And don't tell anyone that I told you..." Because, naturally, that would tip off Jessica and Eric that the alliance is officially kaput. Dick then joins in and says that the three of them need to stick together. They both promise him safety should either of them win HoH. Zach says eventually he'll have to trust somebody in the game -- and he hasn't done it so far.

America's Puppet

Eric's newest assignment will be to show one of the houseguests how annoying they can be by mimicking their actions and phrases. Oh, we can break up this sho-mance if we pick Jessica, but she doesn't really have any habits worth mocking. And if we have him drop to his knees in prayer, Jameka's likely to smack him upside the head. I say we vote for Daniele, so that Eric can practice whining about how the game "really really really sucks" sometimes. Who's with me?

NOMINATED FOR EVICTION
Nominations

Daniele DRs that Zach is the person in the game who has consistently played by the rule of, "If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." Eric, on the other hand, say, "Zach thinks he's been masterminding the game since day one." I think Eric just wants Zach to stop interrupting him putting the moves on Jessica. Jessica has no doubt that Zach will put her up because she did it to him, and Jameka doesn't think that she's Zach's target.

Zach, meanwhile, wonders if he made the right choice for himself, or what others think is the right choice for himself.

At the ceremony, Zach says he made his choices based on the relationships he's made in the house. And since I'm counting that he's made absolutely none, this could be anybody's game.

Dick is safe. Then Daniele, and finally Eric. Jameka and Jessica have been nominated for eviction.

Zach says he nominated Jameka because he feels his social situations with her haven't evolved yet, and it's been difficult to get to know her; meanwhile, she's made good relationships with everyone else and that threatens him. Jessica also is someone he fears in the end game, because everybody likes her. It appears that Zach is playing the same game as everyone else -- keeping the Donatos around because he, like everyone else, knows they can win if they're in the final two with one of the Donatos. Nobody, apparently, has done the math though and realized that keeping one Donato is good game play, and keeping two of them is suicide.

Aftermath:

Jessica: I thought it was jut a cop-out because he didn't want to nominated Dick or Daniele.
Jameka: Zach is unbelievable... I can't wait for veto competition.
Zach: I don't feel remorse whatsoever for my nominations.
Daniele: My friendship with Zach has paid off.
Eric: I feel like it's my fault. And I feel like Jessica feels like it's my fault.


Previous Recaps:
August 30: All the Tea in China (Cups)
August 28: Eric Rounds the Bases with Jessica, But Strikes Out on the Veto
August 26: Live Nude Girls -- Booyah!
August 23: Bratty Behavior Okay? Au Contraire, Au Pair!
August 21: Jameka's Got Religion, Amber's Had a Vision, Daniele's Made a Decision, and Jen Gets Derision
August 19: Amber the Mock Turtle Gets Schooled in Vocabulary
August 16: A Pawn Can Become a Queen -- And Apparently Vice-Versa!
August 14: Dustin Swallows, But Dick Handles His Balls Better
August 12: The Gospel According to Sainte Gangsta
August 9: Semitic Semantics From Shikse Shmok, Censored by CBS, Ain't Shpasik!
August 7: Blood Will Out as Daniele Becomes Her Father's Daughter
August 5: Fowl! Fan Flies in the Face of America's Fun!
August 2: Dick Teas!
July 31: In Which God Switches Alliances... For a Dollar
July 29: Let Flow My Tears
July 26: So Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson -- Your Housemates Fear You Less Than They Fear Mike
July 24: In Which Many Players Believe Dick Lives Up To His Name
July 22: Fun With Dick and Jen (and Kail)
July 19: "Vindication, Baby!"
July 17: Is Daniele the Second Coming of Janelle?
July 15: Got No Style, Got No Flair, But She's There -- And Yes, We Mean the Nanny!
July 12: First Eviction, and the Nanny Takes Charge
July 10: Ready or Not, Here Comes the Golden Power of Veto
July 8: Nominations Come From Mrs. Robinson and the Spirit of Fairness. Goo Goo Ga Joo!
July 5: We Have Met the Enemy, and He is Us!